Question for the guys...

[36DD]

I'm addressing this question to the guys only because they have always been considered to be the main source of income. Do you feel inadequate if your wife or gf makes a lot more money than you do? Do you feel insecure if she is from money and you're not?

 

[MidusCo.]

Not really.

 

[NCbear]

I have several straight male friends whose wives make a good bit more than they do. They have varying reactions to that fact. Most are OK with it, because they enjoy a good life (financially speaking) based on the wife's salary.

Side topic: Being in academia, what's amusing to me is the large number of "Dr. and Mr." couples, when the standard used to be "Dr. and Mrs." It was extremely funny when the wife of our next chancellor was introduced; she has her own PhD, but the old-fashioned marketing and communications guy introduced her as Mrs., only to be corrected audibly by the crowd in the next few seconds.

Back to the topic: The only men I've noticed having a problem with their wives making more than they did were the house husbands who were not making money at all and staying home to care for the children.

NCbear (who makes about 4 times as much money as his boyfriend does, but who has been assured that his boyfriend doesn't care -- and has been told by his boyfriend that when the boyfriend becomes a famous photographer, NCbear won't have to work any more :tongue: )

 

[yongdo]

If she loves what she does I couldn't care less how much (or little) she makes.

What's important to me is that she has something, her passion, that she can do.

 

[DC_DEEP]

The only guys (or gals, for that matter) who feel inadequate because the partner makes more would find other things to feel inadequate about, if it weren't the finances.

If they are actually in a good, healthy relationship, they divvy up the household expenses in an equitable manner (percentages of each income, not necessarily equal amounts), put away some savings, and have their own spending money.

Guys who resent the fact that their wife/girlfriend makes more money are actually kinda pathetic. If it bothers ya so much, go out and get a higher paying job.

 

[NCbear]

Preach on, DC Deep!

NCbear (who uses the percentage of income idea for paying the rent)

 

[36DD]

Thanks guys...always a little nervous when I meet someone but it's nice to know it's not such a big deal after all.

 

[Principessa]

You are my my hero DC_DEEP, preach on brother!

Trust me MANY men of all races find a woman who earns more money than them intimidating. It doesn't matter if it's $1,000 or $50,000 more it bothers some men...a lot.

Trust me I know! I'm a Black with woman with 2 masters degrees. Why do guys expect me to work at Mc Donald's or Wal-Mart?
Y'all love the way I strut in my Ralph Lauren suits & Stuart Weitzman shoes but have the nerve to get pouty when you realize it's not a knock off. WTF!?! :frown1:

njqt466​

 

[Over 7]

I could care less who makes more. I have no large bills, no mortgage, minimal CC debt, and work when jobs that I want to do present themselves. If a wealthy woman wanted to come and support me, it would be easy, out of pocket expenses.:biggrin1:

 

[Falcon9]

36DD, if you made more than me I wouldn't mind. Especially if you could get us on board a transatlantic liner up in a penthouse drinking champagne... then I really wouldn't mind. If I could do the same for you, I'd do it without worrying about the relationship, there are far more important things to worry about such as compatibility, love, etc.

 

[roosevelt]

I make enough money that it's never been an issue for me, but I also like to live simply, and budget myself to a fairly minimalistic existence, saving or giving the rest away. my ex father-in-law looked down on me because he considered my way of living to be beneath his daughter. she did too, and it was one of our many issues.

I would have a hard time being in a relationship with a woman that was too concerned with a specific way of living, or someone who's family looked down on me for my philosophy on money.

As far as the specific original question, I like to think that it wouldn't be a big deal to me, but I know that I would have a hard time with it if I was dating a woman that cared which one of us made more money.

 

[Love-it]

Technically I make more money but have a lot less disposable income for non-business related items. My wife has days off and goes skiing and bicycling, buys new equipment, drives a newer vehicle and has savings. We split household expenses, I cook and she washes dishes. We have been doing this for over 30 years.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Technically I make more money but have a lot less disposable income for non-business related items. My wife has days off and goes skiing and bicycling, buys new equipment, drives a newer vehicle and has savings. We split household expenses, I cook and she washes dishes. We have been doing this for over 30 years.

And as long as you split the expenses and earn your own spending money, and share the chores, it all works out very well, doesn't it? Congratulations on the over-30!

My partner, when we first fell in love (about 6 years ago), told me that he was determined to trade me in on a newer model on our 65th anniversary. He periodically reminds me of that countdown (59 more years!) The funny thing is, when he DOES trade me in, I will be 108 years old, and he will be 113. I told he he could trade me in on two 54 year olds! (I just hope he doesn't check my Kelly Blue Book value!)

 

[YourAvgGuy]

My wife and I do extremely well but she works in corporate and I work in academia. Should I elaborate on the difference in pay scale?

I don't have a problem with her earning more than I do. My philosophy is that we have combined our earnings, savings, etc. together. Doing so allows us to live extremely comfortable, even though I entered into the relationship with substantically more than she did. Regardless, we are married and it is combined.

Besides, I get to spend her money!

 

[B_big dirigible]

What's important to me is that she has something, her passion, that she can do.

Most people don't work at their passion. Or if they do, once it becomes a job it loses its appeal as a passion. Women suffer the same fate in this respect as men.

In the modern world this is considered an achievement.

 

[art]

Do you feel inadequate if your wife or gf makes a lot more money than you do? Do you feel insecure if she is from money and you're not?

Not at all, so long as I get to spend/enjoy it. Both my wives and all my girlfriends have made oodles more money than me. (It's a gift! I attract rich women.)

 

[36DD]

36DD, if you made more than me I wouldn't mind. Especially if you could get us on board a transatlantic liner up in a penthouse drinking champagne... then I really wouldn't mind. If I could do the same for you, I'd do it without worrying about the relationship, there are far more important things to worry about such as compatibility, love, etc.

I agree, compatibility, love, sense of humor are more important, but sometimes people just resent others that have money and their resentment doesn't always present itself at first, or it comes out in stupid (IMO) comments on how the rich don't pay taxes...bullshit, but I guess that would be another subject entirely. I could if I wanted to spend money on lots of material things, but I wasn't brought with that kind of mentality...still, I do have a weakness for shoes!

 

[Whopper-lee]

I'm addressing this question to the guys only because they have always been considered to be the main source of income. Do you feel inadequate if your wife or gf makes a lot more money than you do? Do you feel insecure if she is from money and you're not?

My god.....
R U kidding.... I wish; and esp. if she is willing to share and make or add to the quality of our relationship and living status average and above.
Take a look at Steadmen & Oprah.
Think he gives a care being called Mr.Oprah:biggrin1:
Ha, just let me meet a female of this nature....insecure, would be unheard of to me.
I'm insecure because I can't find any women like this.:biggrin1:
Thx for asking....guess I'll keep workin and lookin!

 

[OmahaBeef]

It's a non-issue for me since I am a staunch believer in keeping assetts seperate. Married or not. Heck...even if we were to marry (her making more money than myself) and we were to divorce, she would still end up with half of my stuff anyways.

I don't care if a woman makes more money than myself at all. I am still the boss.

...OB

 

[Draconis71]

Hell, I'd only be jealous if she made that having sex... (Damnit, I should be the one making money, via sex)... not that I have a GF/SO... (or have sex either) ah well.