Question for the lesbians on this forum

[RawDog]

Although what REALLY would classify as either gender, emotionally, is hard to say too. Stereotypes don't work - if you're female you like shoes? Wrong (I don't. Well, other than I do quite like Converse, but I HATE high heels). If you're male you love football? Wrong, my boyfriend doesn't (boy am I glad! I don't either!).

The few relationship books I've read have a common concept about the difference. Men are generally goal oriented, women are process oriented. When guys get together to discuss issues it's usually to find a solution. When women get together to discuss issues, they generally want to dissect the emotions, sympathize, share common circumstances, and want to feel comforted in the fact that they're not alone with their reactions and they have a support group that understands.

Get a man and a woman together to discuss issues and god help the both of them. One wants to solve the issue and move on, the other wants to understand the issues and feel comforted.

Similarly with sex: A man's main goal is his orgasm, a woman's is the enjoyment of thje intimacy. Bad thing is that when a man cums, he's done, when a woman cums, she's just starting.

 

[Fleur]

"I forgot you were a guy."

You're a male lesbian.

I dated one for 5 years, you sound exactly like the type.

Google: Eddie Izzard for an example (doesn't mean you have to like dressing as a woman either).

 

[RawDog]

You're a male lesbian.

I'd much rather be labelled that than a meterosexual.

I dated one for 5 years, you sound exactly like the type.

Why didn't the realtionship work out? Being an MMA blackbelt at 6'-6", one of my greatest challenges is trying not to look imposing/threatening to people. I end up coming across like a big teddy bear and sometimes wonder if I'm going overboard.

Google: Eddie Izzard for an example (doesn't mean you have to like dressing as a woman either).

My wife's favorite comedian is Eddie Izzard!

 

[Enid]

I guess there's confusion brewing in my brain as to what "straight" or "gay" really is. Granted at the end of the day, it's only a label, but I'm gathering there's an emotional component and a physical component.

Yes, the physical component is called either homosexuality, bisexuality or heterosexuality.

The emotional component is called homophilia, biphilia or hetereophilia.

Homophile - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Cougar]

Why shouldn't 100% lesbians come here. Maybe they just laike talking about cock and wishing they had one without being in a relationship with a male.

I always had penis envy as a young lesbian.....oh, now I am old and still have penis envy.

 

[Fleur]

Why didn't the realtionship work out?

We'd be here all day explaining that one, but it had nothing to do with his orientation.

 

[RawDog]

Yes, the physical component is called either homosexuality, bisexuality or heterosexuality.

The emotional component is called homophilia, biphilia or hetereophilia.

Homophile - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

So there is a term for the emotional vs. the physical component! Thanks, Chrissy. Nerdy horny sex geeks unite!

We'd be here all day explaining that one, but it had nothing to do with his orientation.

Fair enough. You answered my question.

 

[deleted509196]

with sex: A man's main goal is his orgasm, a woman's is the enjoyment of thje intimacy. Bad thing is that when a man cums, he's done, when a woman cums, she's just starting.

My goal is the enjoyment of intimacy AND the orgasm, pretty sure my guy likes both too, and also HIS orgasm is one of the goals for me too (something I enjoy is not only me enjoying orgasm but him too)... and we have continued some form of intimacy after he has cum, and/or me. So... I guess everyone is just different.

 

[D_Czarova Zucchini]

So, were they a-dick-ted after this encounter? :tongue:

NP you've been watching too much porn!

 

[D_Czarova Zucchini]

Exactly why I'm posting this here to begin with! My wife (a lesbian) loves (my) cock.

to quote dolf: ""

 

[RawDog]

to quote dolf: ""

Believe me, she puzzles me everytime she says that. <-- back at 'ya

 

[D_Czarova Zucchini]

well i'm the one puzzled.

I'm assuming your wife loves you.

And I assume your wife enjoys sex with you.

How is she a lesbian?

Because she has sex with women? why isn't she "bi"?

Does she not like "to share her toys"? :biggrin1:

 

[RawDog]

well i'm the one puzzled.

Well, let me try sorting it out

I'm assuming your wife loves you.

Very much. We've been greinds for 20 years and only 4 years ago did we finally decide to "hook up".

And I assume your wife enjoys sex with you.

How should I put it... Ok, I figured it out. Check this clip out:

Megan Madsen - Megan fucked hard by pro cock

... my wife cums that often when we fuck. She hasn't squirted on my cock yet, but that frequency and intesnisty is a rough approximation.

How is she a lesbian?

She really has no interest in men. None at all, except me.

Because she has sex with women? why isn't she "bi"??

That used to be my contention, but my wife doesn't fit that mold. All in all, it's only a label. A label she doesn't fancy very much. We have a friend who made a point about that. She said "bisexual" women for the most part aren't really bisexual. They're just doing it more for show than anything else. That friend by the way is bisexual, but she too doesn't like the label. She considers herself as someone who just loves everybody.

Does she not like "to share her toys"? :biggrin1:

Nope. Not yet anyway.

 

[D_Czarova Zucchini]

How should I put it... Ok, I figured it out. Check this clip out:

Megan Madsen - Megan fucked hard by pro cock

... my wife cums that often when we fuck. She hasn't squirted on my cock yet, but that frequency and intesnisty is a rough approximation.

is she that vocal? (do the neighbors complain?) LOL

WOW! I wonder how "Megan's" boyfriend felt when he saw that!

seriously tho' I'd say you owed us all a video clip. :biggrin1:

Nope. Not yet anyway.

well now that's just wrong!

 

[RawDog]

is she that vocal? (do the neighbors complain?) LOL

My wife's screaming orgasms aren't as shrill as the girl's on the video, but they are as loud.

 

[vaeyinn]

I hope it's not bad form to resurrect old discussions, but since RawDog linked to this in his bisexual post I will add.

Hhuck's is the most succinct "labels are stupid." This post is long enough without getting into the complications of cisgender and genderqueer so I will leave that alone but:

I really think it's important to respect her right to call herself whatever she feels is right. She wouldn't be the first lesbian who discovered a male soul mate.

I would call myself bisexual because it feels comfortable, but that's probably because I am about equally attracted to men and women. Lots of people aren't 50%/50% and want a word that reflects the skew of preference (gay, lesbian, straight.) Even this site doesn't use "-sexual", it's got the percentages

She said "bisexual" women for the most part aren't really bisexual. They're just doing it more for show than anything else.

Rawdog's friend might like the term pansexual (attracted to everything) but the avoidance of the bisexual label for the reason stated is why some bisexuals have a hard time being accepted by the queer community at large. Many people are suspicious of a bi female. It seems like they want her to have cunnilingus street cred before she can join Queer Club? *see above, labels are stupid*

But for those few out there who want to break the label down to strict definition, you qualify or you don't, if she likes one little dick (or huge one :biggrin1: ) she can't be a lesbian:

If you met my buddy of mixed racial heritage, are you going to tell him which box to check? If he doesn't like mofongo, does he have to say he's white? Or would you let him choose Puerto Rican/white/mixed race/other based on the ever-changing summation of life experiences that creates his identity, known best by him and only poorly expressed by categories and labels?
:smile:

 

[Enid]

I hope it's not bad form to resurrect old discussions, but since RawDog linked to this in his bisexual post I will add.

Hhuck's is the most succinct "labels are stupid." This post is long enough without getting into the complications of cisgender and genderqueer so I will leave that alone but:

I really think it's important to respect her right to call herself whatever she feels is right. She wouldn't be the first lesbian who discovered a male soul mate.

I would call myself bisexual because it feels comfortable, but that's probably because I am about equally attracted to men and women. Lots of people aren't 50%/50% and want a word that reflects the skew of preference (gay, lesbian, straight.) Even this site doesn't use "-sexual", it's got the percentages

+1 infinity for the bolded

 

[RawDog]

I not only respect her labelling herself as lesbian, I fucking adore it!

I'd much rather her flirt and get physical with another woman than a guy any day of the week (or year). I've seen it happen and I gotta say... it is a sight to behold.

Also, it's nice to be in a relationship where trust isn't ever an issue.

 

[Bunny]

Sounds like you have the perfect arrangement :smile: You should be very happy about this, as many people strive to find what you have - a soulmate, in all sense of the word. I think you're right to leave labels out of this.

 

[NePlusUltra]

I agree with Bunny: It seems like you have a great arrangement. I also agree a lot with Vaeyinn. People should be allowed to identify however they feel. They define themselves to themselves.

That said, your wife's logic seems to allow for a man to claim he is straight, even though he is in love with, married to, and regularly having multi-orgasmic sex with his male soul-mate.