Best I can tell, the end result of the OP's view of women and penii is that if you don't have a big dick you don't ask out women who are 8s, 9s or 10s.
You also assume that only "lower" status women will put up with less than exemplary sex, something that you assume you can never provide because you don't have a big dick.
The relationship may be summed up by saying that your woman will settle and you will settle because neither one of you can get what you really want.
In truth we are all imperfect, and accommodating ourselves to our own and our SO's imperfections isn't settling, it is embracing what it is to be human.
Others have recommended therapy. While I second that observation I also hope that the OP will someday feel comfortable enough around women to open himself to them, be emotionally vulnerable and allow them to accept him without engaging in the harsh judgments he passes on himself. I predict that if he can find love his strident crusading and obsessiveness will vanish.
Any time I see one-track minds defending the castle to the death (and every forum has a couple of these) I am reminded that it is not the truth or falsity of the points that is paramount, but the REASON driving the poster that is the real issue. When that changes it ceases to seem so important to him.