Question for the women: Should I tell her?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by ThisSpace4Rent, Jan 5, 2008.

  1. ThisSpace4Rent

    ThisSpace4Rent New Member

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    This happened about a month ago, but I woke up in the middle of the night and caught my wife masturbating in her sleep (like sleepwalking, but sexier I guess). The bed was shaking a little from it and that's what woke me up. I'm sure she was asleep (and not just awake with her eyes closed) because one of the kids was in bed with us (and thankfully slept right through it, they sleep like logs) and she's not at all the type who would ever do something like that if she even thought there was a chance the kids might walk in on us (she actually bolts our bedroom door shut when we have sex).

    If the situation were the other way around, I'd want to be told it happened to me, but I can understand how for her it might be extremely embarassing, so I've opted for "just keep it to myself". Was just curious for some other points of view (plus, if I'm not gonna share the story with her, I might as well share it anonymously with the whole world... I gotta tell somebody.)

    The next morning I led off with a story about whatever wierd dream I had, and then asked what she dreamt about, but she said nothing she could remember :p
     
  2. SpoiledPrincess

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    I think you're right keeping it to yourself, you know her best and feel she might be embarrassed so you're probably right. I have dirty dreams all the time, she probably had one too :)
     
  3. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    You told us, does that count. ;)
    Maybe bring it up in a sexy situation like when you have sex and then tell her how much it turned you on. :p
     
  4. Pirate Wench

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    No...I think because your kid was in the bed, too....it would embarrass her too much, evenwith her knowing the kid slept thru it.

    Perhaps she'll do it again when it's just the 2 of you....then you can mention it....but don't mention she did it another time with the kid there.
     
  5. walla99

    walla99 New Member

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    Hm, I guess I don't see the dilemma...I'd just ask her about it. If it were me, I'd want to know.
     
  6. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    Sorry to butt in as you did not ask the men, but yes, she should be told. It is a sleep disturbance. Imagine her rolling over on your child in an attempt to have sex with you while she is asleep. This is a well-known phenomenon that most partners put up with do to there is usually no one else involved and well, sex is sex.
     
  7. B_blackkid

    B_blackkid New Member

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    In order to evade all conflict simply say nothing. It's harmless for sure this way.
     
  8. ThisSpace4Rent

    ThisSpace4Rent New Member

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    I'd never planned to mention that it happened on a night when one of the kids was in bed with us. I have no desire to horrify her.

    We've been together 10 years and that's never happened to me, so I'm not too worried about that ever happening to the kids :p (and they're old enough now that there's really no risk of them getting smothered).

    Safety is a good point though, and if we ever have a 3rd child I'll mention something about it. Pretty sure we're done having kids though (we're planning a date for the ol' vasectomy).

    Yeah, that's basically where I'm at right now, just felt like sharing with someone (and the internet is great for divulging all your wierd-ass secrets under blissful anonymity).
     
  9. seandelevan

    seandelevan Member

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    Embarrassed? What is there to be embarrassed about? Are you married to Mother Teresa? I can think of A LOT more situations to be embarrassed about. I'm not even married but I thought married couples would have been way past the "keeping the mystery" crap.
     
  10. Hugh G. Rection

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    You shoulda just had a threesome right there and then.
     
  11. Not_Punny

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    I wouldn't tell her. What's the point? She had/has no control over that.

    But I would speed up the process of weaning the kid off of sleeping in the parental bed. Some kids are light sleepers. And if your wife asks why, just smile and say that you want her all to yourself.
     
  12. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    I showd my husband this post and I told him that if I ever do this, I want him to tell me about it. I don't exactly know why......but I think I would get a kick out of it. I am not a very hard sleeper so it probably wouldn't take much to wake me up and he could help me out. (Very quietly)

    Unfortunately my kids have the terrible habit of sleepwalking and ending up in our king size bed. My 6 year old son is the worst. He starts out in his own bed but every morning I wake up to find him in our bed. So, we usually lock the bedroom door for intimate encounters during the day. (With the kids on the other side of the bedroom door.) And of course my son is banging on the door wanting in. He can't stand locked doors. But that is too darn bad.
     
  13. Guy-jin

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    I honestly would tell my mate if this happened and have a good laugh over it. And like hotmilf said, suggest maybe we ought to wean the kids and get some private time for ourselves.
     
  14. Principessa

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    :yell::no::nono::aargh4::damnit1::buttkick::poke::chairshot::chairshot::tool:
     
  15. whatireallywant

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    I don't know that I've ever done that in my sleep but there was that time that I woke up and wished I could remember what I had been dreaming, because of how horny I was upon just awakening!
     
  16. ThisSpace4Rent

    ThisSpace4Rent New Member

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    Think_Kink hit on the point... that having the opportunity to watch my wife masturbating was sexy as all hell.

    She's generally too conservative day to day to ever do anything like that, so it as something of a lucky break on my part :wink:.

    *shrug* She embarasses easily. I see her naked when we're making love, but I'm locked out of the bathroom when she's taking showers. Just depends on the circumstances. She'd be too embarassed to ever masturbate in front of me conciously, so I'm fairly certain that she'd be embarassed to hear that I saw her doing it while she was sleeping (even if it was out of her control).
     
  17. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Id tell her.

    If it was only the 2 of you it would be a different story but i think if it was me and i was capable of doing that even with my children next to me id want to know. Maybe there is nothing she can do about it but she has a right to know and maybe possibly, subconsciously she can get a grip on it to stop it or tone it down. She's been through a lot more then a little embarrassment im sure. And if she is going to hear it from anyone best be you
     
  18. ThisSpace4Rent

    ThisSpace4Rent New Member

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    Our son was down at the foot of the bed (if they sleep between us I end up with little knees in my back all night long... ow).

    I'll think about what you said. If I do tell her, and phrase it more like "Hey, I just wanted to tell you this happened so you know", I don't think it would be so embarassing as what's actually running through my head (which is more along the lines of "OMG that was so hot what you did the other night while you were sleeping, how do I get you to do that for me when you're awake sometime??").

    While I think it over I'll just work to make sure the kids stay in their own beds (I sleep better when they do anyways).
     
  19. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Maybe you could come at it from the angle of being concerned about the kids being exposed to it and thought maybe if she knew there was some way she could control it. Im sure any mother would be less embarrassed by her husband telling her that then having her kids see it.

    If you think she is going to be embarrassed best keep the OMG, thats hot out of it and take the concerned parent route
     
  20. ThisSpace4Rent

    ThisSpace4Rent New Member

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    I'm honestly not concerned about the kids.

    I might still tell her anyways, just in case she wants to be concerned about it, but we sleep in pajamas, and we're under our covers and they're on top of the covers under their own blanket (on nights when they come into bed with us), they're far from being old enough to attribute it to anything more than mom scratching a leg if they did wake up, I sleep a lot lighter than they do anyways so I doubt seriously they'd wake up before I did, and beyond all that this is one time in 10 years of marriage it's happened so I don't think it's part of any big pattern.

    So in other words, if I tell her it'd be more along the lines of wanting her to know that she has sleep disturbances sometimes and could potentially sleepwalk (she related that her brother used to sleepwalk a lot when he was younger, and our 4 year old sleepwalks as well).

    I just don't want to blow it out of proportion that one of the kids was in bed at the time, and I don't think it's the sort of thing people typically have any control over (otherwise sleepwalking wouldn't be an issue for some people).
     
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