Question for women regarding bisexual men

EmJay

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yes, and it is also why so many people are in the closet

And this is what i do not understand..there are so many women who are openminded..why not choose to be with those women?..instead of hiding out in something that's only hurtful to yourself and not to mention your partner thats been kept ignorant from your desires/needs.

Many people crave to be in a relationship, but we don't always get what we want (right away), many times it takes work, patience and perseverance..you know. To me hiding out..nowadays is the easy way out and I have zero respect for that..I'm sorry.

Maybe or probably its my own insecurity in this matter, but when it comes down to bi-sexuality all I can think of is..'ok when is this going to end'. Like there is more uncertainty there than in every other kind of relationship. Maybe that's ridiculous..and maybe it's not. I am still confused about it all.. I perceive Bi-ness as a sexual thing and comes down to my own experiences witnessing the behaviours of people around me that are in bi-relationships. That might be ignorant in itself, but that is how i see it.

If I would have more experience or proof that it was something that is more a matter of the heart..more spiritual..like someone who has a big heart and can just see the beauty in all genders, but sticks to the love they have for 1 person whether its a man or a woman.

If i would have more experience with that, I would definately be open to a bi-guy. Because I wouldn't care about their past at all. But i perceive Bi-men in this case as very restless...always wandering..

So no..
 

JackoffCool

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So yea i'm glad you posted this. Im bisexual myself...im 18 but ive always been sure thats the case which is why im very socially awkward. but ppl made me fee like i was just suppose to choose. My sis found out and shes said its harder for bisexuals than it is for gays. And that media projection on DL guys make it worse. So I told myself whenever i get over this akward thing and decide to be in a relationship im jsut gunna be straight foward from the start and i think you should too. Cuz it eliminates any problems you would have in the future and i think eventually bisexuals will find someone who like them regardless of sexuality.

What helps me is Billy Joel Armstrong is bi and (from what i heard) he's happily married to a woman with 2 kids. So he gives me hope.
 

B_henry miller

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And this is what i do not understand..there are so many women who are openminded..why not choose to be with those women?..instead of hiding out in something that's only hurtful to yourself and not to mention your partner thats been kept ignorant from your desires/needs.

Maybe or probably its my own insecurity in this matter, ..

I think you answered your own question. It goes back to an issue of insecurity. For women, it is almost trendy these days to be bisexual. For men, if you are bisexual, you are basically "gay" to straight men -- and are often rejected. It just becomes easier for bisexual men to keep their bisexuality a secret. I've met bisexual men that you would never guess were bisexual.
 

D_Evita_Zane

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I think you answered your own question. It goes back to an issue of insecurity. For women, it is almost trendy these days to be bisexual. For men, if you are bisexual, you are basically "gay" to straight men -- and are often rejected. It just becomes easier for bisexual men to keep their bisexuality a secret. I've met bisexual men that you would never guess were bisexual.

+1 I think there is definitely a double standard in that sense. As well as the stigma that "well since he likes both sexes that means that hes gonna cheat on me" and being bi automatically means promiscuous.

It's interesting reading some of the responses to this thread though.
 

D_Evita_Zane

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I am not attracted to bisexual men at all... The idea of a 'love interest' also being attracted to men does not appeal to me or my personal life. its enough having to deal with possible other women..not other men as well. Its just too much.


Narrowminded I know..But who says that's a bad thing all of the time..;-)

A little bit but understandable. How many straight men (and women) have wondering eyes when they see someone attractive in public? How many cheat?

For me at least I am attracted to and open to the possibility of a relationship with both men and women. That doesn't mean that I must have both simultaneously in order to be satisfied. Will I still have thoughts? Sure, I'm human. To think that everyone straight, gay, bi can completely blind themselves from others is a little far-fetched to me. They just have to control their feelings.

What it all boils down to is trust and commitment. Straight men, gay men, and bi men can all be trustworthy, monogamous, and faithful. They all can be liars and cheaters too. So yes I suppose with a bi guy you do have the "extra risk" of the other sex, but if someone cheats on you regardless of their sexuality then you shouldn't be with them.
 

EmJay

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I don't know if you are talking about me..but i have not spoken about promiscuity..(or however you spell that)

The feelings of insecurity come from the point of view..of sexuality. From that point of view I would feel that a Bi-guy would always feel that he is lacking something sexually.. (at least with me that is..because I'm not sexually open enough to explore other stuff to his liking)..this raising the chance that he might seek to fullfil those needs elsewhere..

In my own personal experience i have seen many bi-guys secretly hooking up with my gay friends..some of them in longterm triangel relationships (eventhough their wives or girlfriends were oblivious of that going on. The bi-women usually were more open in their relationships and engaged in threesomes now and again with their partners..

Because that has been my experience...my view of it all might have become somewhat tainted..don't know..

I'm not talking about the ´bi guy who's in an exclusive relationship with a girl or guy and ocassionally relieves his other needs by looking at pics, straight or gay porn or some cam session. If that would be enough..I'd be open to that.. (but ofcourse I have never met those...because I'd probably never know they were Bi)

I have only met the cheating ones..
So i cant deny that it has made me feel that maybe Bi-guys are more prone to cheating. Not because there are more options..but the nature of the difference in male and female sexuality i guess.

I am not here to offend anyone..i am just trying to put down my thoughts as honest as I can. I know this is a touchy subject..and I know everything about the sensitivities surrounding any kind of prejudice..

But this is how I feel..
 
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D_Evita_Zane

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^ I didn't mean to single you out either. You make a lot of valid points though, so I can see where you're coming from.

Sexuality is just one of those things that's difficult to explain to others.