Question, help please?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by amorecondannato, Oct 7, 2009.

  1. amorecondannato

    amorecondannato New Member

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    I'll try to keep this short and to the point without going into too much detail...very basically, I'm just at my wit's end. I'm gay, and I recently found out one of my best friends goes both ways. Now, he doesn't want anyone to know...I understand that. If he ever decides to tell people that's one thing, it's not for me to go and tell people. But to make matters worse, (or better?) we fooled around...a few times. I always said that I never would fool around with him because I know emotions would come into play, and they have. I've not done anything with him for awhile, and I really am curious. Number one, how should I approach this? I mean I don't want to just come out and be blunt and say, ''So when are we gonna have a gay ole time?'' I kinda wanna just allude to it...number two, what if he tries the whole ''I'm not bi anymore?'' He told me enough (and we did enough..) for me to know that there's no way he was just ''experimenting''...Also, how do I inform him that I've developed feelings for him? I think a part of me thinks he would rather me be blunt and straight up instead of hinting around at things, but at the same time if I do what if he...''Oh shit, I'll fool around with a dude but I don't want one having emotions!'' Meh. I just am strung out, I can't talk to any of my other friends about this. Maybe ya'll can help. What would any of you do in my situation?
     
  2. B_eleveinchbreeder

    B_eleveinchbreeder New Member

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    i think u let the opportunity go by...you should of brought it up before you guys zipped up ur pants...that way he knows u had a great time and would be receptive to more sex with him. and perhaps, he didn't have such a great time, and in my world, there is nothing wrong with just asking him what his thoughts are on the 'meeting' the two of u had.
     
  3. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    Having been in the situation twice with bi guys, stay away from bi guys!
     
  4. amorecondannato

    amorecondannato New Member

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    LOL, thanks for your input.
     
  5. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    i just have one question, didn't you know or at least had some sort of an idea before that he wasn't 100% str8? Did him admitting he is bi shock you at first?
     
  6. mountainjew

    mountainjew New Member

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    Sounds like the situation I am =[
     
  7. amorecondannato

    amorecondannato New Member

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    Oh man, is this commonplace? : (
     
  8. mountainjew

    mountainjew New Member

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    Uh, hopefully not for the rest of humanities mental health.

    Iam hating it, he doesn't talk about it, or last time we did thought it was just fooling around type stuff, but yet he knows how i feel and recently been showing signs of emotion.
     
  9. Countryguy63

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    :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:

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    is it ok if I still love you? :smlove2: :hug:
     
  10. badger2395

    badger2395 Member

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    Sorry to hear that your experience with two bi guys has been so bad. That having been said, generalizing from two data points is...stereotyping. Gay guys can leave you just as easily as bi guys - but that's probably a different thread.
     
  11. dreamer20

    Gold Member

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    Life is too short for you to spend wondering about him and thinking what if? Get the answers to your questions amorecondannato. You need only ask if you want to fool around and tell him of your feelings for him.
     
  12. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    LOL, there are always exceptions to the rule and as a mature guy you are more likely to have surpassed the 'what will my peers think of me' dichotomy that causes younger bi guys to 'step in, step out' of gay dabbling.

    Stereotyping is not essentially a bad thing, it only becomes bad when you take the extreme version and apply it to everyone.

    In general, where young bi guys are concerned, they are not as stable in their desires as a gay or straight guy that does not have to think about 'what gender do i want to be with?' which usually results in 'i'll try both and see what i think' which means if you are the gay guy caught up in his sexual discovery then you are likely to get burned unless he is at a stage in life where he accepts his bisexuality and is as happy to date guys as he is girls, otherwise... he will avoid any possible social stigma and play straight with the occasional toe-dipping.
     
  13. helgaleena

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    spit it out already, do not torture yourself with 'what ifs'. And if you just can't do it, go find somebody else asap. As previously stated you let the best moment to say something slip.
     
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