Question? Is oral sex part of cheating on the other person.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_Morning_Glory, Jul 25, 2008.

  1. B_Morning_Glory

    B_Morning_Glory New Member

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    Was talking to some friends the other day. The question came up that if a person was in a relationship and had oral sex by someone else. Is that considered cheating on them? Some said yes and some said no. One said if there was no intercourse then it wasn't cheating. Because she can't do oral and she wants him happy. Would like ur opinon on this subject. Is oral part of the cheating factor? All are welcome to respond to this post.
     
    #1 B_Morning_Glory, Jul 25, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2008
  2. bek2335

    bek2335 New Member

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    If my partner, be it a man or a woman, had oral sex with someone else, man or woman, I damn well would consider it cheating.

    In lesbian sex, neither partner has a penis. If Woman A & Woman B are a couple, and Woman A has oral sex with Woman C, how is that not cheating?

    I think the question is pretty absurd. I don't know too many people who would not consider it cheating if their partner had oral sex with a third party.
     
  3. barkerfan

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    I would say it depends on personal feelings and the dynamic of the relationship. I know guys who would say that no, it's not cheating because it was just a blowjob and not "intimate". My question to them would be "ok, so if your partner goes out and gives or recieves oral, it's ok then?" The funny thing is, most of them wouldn't go for it. I think for the most part, people can go out and participate in meaningless sex acts because they know they are meaningless. However, there is a double standard when it comes to our partners because we don't know for sure what they are feeling or what's going on in their heads. Especially when it comes to women, there is an assumption that more often than not, sexual activity and emotion go hand in hand. Essentially, it boils down to the fact that it plays on our insecurity. I personally would definately consider it cheating. I wouldn't want my partner going out and sharing themselves sexually in any form without me. In return, I would never do it either. I have never cheated and belive I never will.
     
  4. exwhyzee

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    Yes, I would say it would constitute cheating.
     
  5. B_Morning_Glory

    B_Morning_Glory New Member

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    i know i wouldnt do oral on anybody but my hubby and only him do me. only reason i asked because this subject was getting pretty heated.
     
  6. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    It is cheating. It is sexual, and that is cheating. Sheesh I wonder if some of this came about because of slick willy and monica. Who knows but do it, and I'll help you pack your bag. Get out of my house ho!
     
  7. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    kissing some one else is cheating, in my book... so....
     
  8. Phil Ayesho

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    this is utter bull... moral relativism of the worst sort.


    Here's the way to tell if you are cheating...
    Cheating is ANY TIME you offer to someone else, attention that rightly should go to your S.O.


    Sexual attention is the core issue of what a relationship is about.

    I don't care if you're chatting online about sex fantasies and you never even have contact...

    Its cheating if its something you wouldn't want your partner to find out about... or to read.


    ANYTHING you HIDE from your partner is a form of cheating.
     
  9. Principessa

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    No offense, but your friend is a f'ing moron! Oral sex is cheating! End of story. :12: What's this nonsense about she can't do oral? :confused: Does she not have a mouth? What you mean is she won't do oral. :rolleyes: She needs a new man, cause it rarely stops with just a bj.
     
  10. B_Morning_Glory

    B_Morning_Glory New Member

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    no offense, i know it. she doesnt like giving him bj's. she say's he too big for her mouth. dont know if it's true or not. but she doesnt care if he gets it somewhere else. which is wrong to me. we tried to tell her.
     
  11. prince_will

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    i'm going with YES.

    any kind of sex is cheating in my book....unless the partner is ok with it, but that's a whole other dimension of a topic.
     
  12. Honey123

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    EXACTLY! which actually means, if I had a husband it's doubtful I'd be here, unless he knew about it and was ok with it.
     
  13. Rekkuza

    Rekkuza Member

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    Well, if she doesn't mind if he gets it elsewhere, that is another story.

    In conventional circles, giving head to another is cheating. But there are couples and groups that are perfectly fine with their significant others fucking outside the relationship. Hell, when I was in the Air Force, I used to hear all the time about officer couples swapping regularly.

    If your friend has no problem with her boyfriend getting oral outside the relationship, then while it's cheating to us, it doesn't really matter, that's they a rule they've defined in their own relationship.

    More power to the both of them, I say.
     
  14. Phil Ayesho

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    hence the definition I offer...
    cheating is when you HIDE interaction with others from your partner.


    Although my partner does not know I post here... I have not posted anything here I would be embarrassed for her to read or find out about.
    No stories I have to offer here that she is not aware of.
    No private camming or PMs full of sexual intrigue....

    And there are those whose partners know and don't care...those without partners, those in open relationships...


    But there is a line you cross and you know perfectly well when you you've crossed it when you are doing things you would actively conceal from your partner.
     
  15. Mr. Bungle

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    Oral sex? Cheating, absolutely...
     
  16. piratebulldog

    piratebulldog Member

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    Phil put it succinctly and definitively. Only affirming what he said. Good going, Philip.
     
  17. gayguy777

    gayguy777 New Member

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    I think if you get a :069: it is cheating. If you are happy with that one person there should be no reason to get or even think about getting a BJ from another person. Thats just me though
     
  18. worshipyourcock

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    Of course it is cheating, unless the couple has some sort of agreement that it is ok...

    A rather Clintonesque question if you ask me...maybe it depends on what the definition of 'is' is?
     
  19. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I would be very concerned if i was with a person who didn't class oral as cheating. In my book ANY type of intimacy (including emotional) you cant tell you partner about is cheating.
     
  20. ManlyBanisters

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    These two statements are completely true.

    But then, in this case, she doesn't care. So that takes what Phil quite rightly says above and negates it.

    Look, just because YOU don't want your husband sticking his cock in someone else's mouth doesn't mean she HAS to feel the same. She doesn't care. He's not sneaking around - maybe they have a don't ask don't tell agreement - maybe she knows all about it, you haven't given that much detail. But it is HER relationship.

    So you say it is wrong to you? WTF do your feelings matter in this situation. She's not asking you to blow him, is she?

    You tried to tell her she is being cheated on even though she doesn't feel cheated on. Why? Why do you want to make her feel bad about something she is OK with?

    I kind have to give some props to what NJ says about 'it rarely stops at a bj' but you have to take into account that these guys appear to have made an arrangement in their relationship that he can get oral sex elsewhere - if he breaks that arrangement that is different. But the nature of that arrangement is none of your business really. She's chosen to share and you think / know it wouldn't work for you and you have told her that. Fine! She's knows where you stand. Leave it at that.
     
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