These two statements are completely true.
But then, in this case, she doesn't care. So that takes what Phil quite rightly says above and negates it.
Look, just because YOU don't want your husband sticking his cock in someone else's mouth doesn't mean she HAS to feel the same. She doesn't care. He's not sneaking around - maybe they have a don't ask don't tell agreement - maybe she knows all about it, you haven't given that much detail. But it is HER relationship.
So you say it is wrong to you? WTF do your feelings matter in this situation. She's not asking you to blow him, is she?
You tried to tell her she is being cheated on even though she doesn't feel cheated on. Why? Why do you want to make her feel bad about something she is OK with?
I kind have to give some props to what NJ says about 'it rarely stops at a bj' but you have to take into account that these guys appear to have made an arrangement in their relationship that he can get oral sex elsewhere - if he breaks that arrangement that is different. But the nature of that arrangement is none of your business really. She's chosen to share and you think / know it wouldn't work for you and you have told her that. Fine! She's knows where you stand. Leave it at that.
so u must of voted for Bill Clinton...if u run without conscience, courage and character...odd that u would ask this question...but because u have asked...sounds as if u r questioning ur conscience, courage and character....
OF COURSE ITS CHEATING...
the acid test is Concealment.
Its not cheating if its agreed that its allowed... you are not concealing your actions, even though you may not be telling your partner about every little thing...
THey know you are doing it...they are fine with it...
Its when you have done something you know you would not want your partner to find out about...
no matter what the agreement... if you want to hide it... its because you know its not kosher.
But I actually knew a woman whose husband regularly got blowjobs from a gay friend of his.
He loved blowjobs and the gay guy lived to suck cock... and the wife? She didn't like giving head and felt that the gay friend was 'helping with the chores"...
this is utter bull... moral relativism of the worst sort.
Here's the way to tell if you are cheating...
Cheating is ANY TIME you offer to someone else, attention that rightly should go to your S.O.
Sexual attention is the core issue of what a relationship is about.
I don't care if you're chatting online about sex fantasies and you never even have contact...
Its cheating if its something you wouldn't want your partner to find out about... or to read.
ANYTHING you HIDE from your partner is a form of cheating.