Question Regarding Size

[KTM450SXF]

I'm a straight male who really is interesting in getting some questions answered. I saw this site and thought I might get a few answers. Answers is all I'm after.

I'm older and from a fairly religious community. I married a virgin as a virgin so my wife has never seen other penises upon which to base a comparison. Guys see each other in locker rooms, but everyone's flaccid. I've never seen another man's erect penis in real life.

The point is: neither of us would ever know what constitutes a large penis.

We've had sexual trouble from the get-go and "fit" appears to be the majority of it. I read about vaginismus online and concluded that's probably the cause. I never thought for a second I might be the cause. Until now.

I just measured myself for the first time ever. I'm 7.125" in length and 5.75" in girth. This site tells me I'm in the 99th percentile, which I find ASTOUNDING.

I'm reluctant to go to a urologist just to get an answer. Sure, he can tell me where I fall on the spectrum, but he's not going to be able to do anything about it.

Real answers, please. Not interested in a hookup, gay or straight. Just want to know if I really have been the problem all along.

 

[hlariv]

How much foreplay are you doing? Fortunately, I absolutely LOVE eating pussy, so that helps a lot getting her ready. A good amount of foreplay is usually the key since I'm quite "girthy"

 

[KTM450SXF]

How much foreplay are you doing? Fortunately, I absolutely LOVE eating pussy, so that helps a lot getting her ready. A good amount of foreplay is usually the key since I'm quite "girthy"

I certainly try, but the degree to which I do this or that is less important to me right now. The most important piece of information I'm after is this: My research tells me I'm in the 99th percentile of both length and girth. I need to know if that sounds right.

 

[hlariv]

I certainly try, but the degree to which I do this or that is less important to me right now. The most important piece of information I'm after is this: My research tells me I'm in the 99th percentile of both length and girth. I need to know if that sounds right.

There are different studies, but that's probably close. I'm in the 95-99th percentile, depending on the study. But it doesn't really matter if you're in the 10th percentile or 99th percentile if it works for both of you.

 

[KTM450SXF]

There are different studies, but that's probably close. I'm in the 95-99th percentile, depending on the study. But it doesn't really matter if you're in the 10th percentile or 99th percentile if it works for both of you.

Thanks for the reply. And yeah, the whole reason I'm doing this research is that it DOESN'T work for both of us. I intend to start with first getting the facts and then seeing what can be done about it.

P.S. I'm just fine with my religious community; I'm not thinking of making any changes, no way. But I find it REALLY frustrating that I can be 58 years old and just finding out about this.

 

[hlariv]

I was an adult before I "discovered" that I was well above average in size. It doesn't really change anything. Just explains why extra foreplay is often so important. I'm just a little shorter in length and a wider in girth than you, but I've never had much of an issue. I think only one woman told me to stop due to my girth, and that just mean doing additional foreplay.

Do you try different positions? Having her on top allows her better control of how much she takes in length.

 

[Stratavos]

ok, mostly gay guy here to bring some insight: yes, you're certainly above average (worldwide average is 5.1 inches long by 4.1 inches around, north american average is 5.5 inches long by 4.4 inches around), which means satisfying sex is always going to need foreplay and lube.

is she using any sex toys...? having one similar to your dimensions will help for getting acclimatized, as well as one slightly smaller, and depending on things... one slightly bigger too.

so in summary, yes you can call your penis size the problem, though that is not going to be helpful for you about your body. think of it more like trying to fit the rectangular block in the square hole. It can be done, but it needs to be done carefully.

 

[KTM450SXF]

I was an adult before I "discovered" that I was well above average in size. It doesn't really change anything. Just explains why extra foreplay is often so important. I'm just a little shorter in length and a wider in girth than you, but I've never had much of an issue. I think only one woman told me to stop due to my girth, and that just mean doing additional foreplay.

Do you try different positions? Having her on top allows her better control of how much she takes in length.

Interesting that you should mention that! We tried her on top and for the first time ever about six months ago, she was FAR more comfortable. That's what got me started with the investigation.

 

[KTM450SXF]

ok, mostly gay guy here to bring some insight: yes, you're certainly above average (worldwide average is 5.1 inches long by 4.1 inches around, north american average is 5.5 inches long by 4.4 inches around), which means satisfying sex is always going to need foreplay and lube.

is she using any sex toys...? having one similar to your dimensions will help for getting acclimatized, as well as one slightly smaller, and depending on things... one slightly bigger too.

so in summary, yes you can call your penis size the problem, though that is not going to be helpful for you about your body. think of it more like trying to fit the rectangular block in the square hole. It can be done, but it needs to be done carefully.

Because of our religious tradition, toys really isn't an option. We're okay with that. But absolutely, thank you for the suggestion. At this point, I welcome ANY thoughts you guys might have.

 

[hlariv]

btw, my wife comes from a very traditional religious background. She would never use a toy herself. She freaked out when she found our daughter's dildo lol. I told her to put it back and don't say anything to her. My wife has never even masturbated!

 

[KTM450SXF]

Yes, that sounds familiar

btw, my wife comes from a very traditional religious background. She would never use a toy herself. She freaked out when she found our daughter's dildo lol. I told her to put it back and don't say anything to her. My wife has never even masturbated!

Yeah, that sounds familiar.

 

[deleted1547822]

calcSD - Full Penis Size Percentile Calculator is a project where a couple of individuals have aggregated various size studies. They offer their opinion on which ones are valid, which ones aren't, and why. You can enter your measurements and see what they say, and where you would fall given any of the individual datasets.

But as you already discovered, you are in the 99th percentile for both length and girth.

 

[3HandsfulofDick]

Unless there is an international database of every man on this planet and their dick sizes I would advise against you or anyone else stating what percentile you are in...These studies are at its best inconclusive and at its worst straight up bullshit

 

[deleted1547822]

Unless there is an international database of every man on this planet and their dick sizes I would advise against you or anyone else stating what percentile you are in...These studies are at its best inconclusive and at its worst straight up bullshit

That's as dumb as saying unless there's a database of every man's height... there's no telling what the average is.

It's statistics. Not perfect, but a hell of a lot more than "inconclusive at best" and "bullshit".

SMDH

 

[3HandsfulofDick]

That's as dumb as saying unless there's a database of every man's height... there's no telling what the average is.

It's statistics. Not perfect, but a hell of a lot more than "inconclusive at best" and "bullshit".

SMDH

You’re not making any sense... That has absolutely has nothing to do with my statement...Don’t me butt hurt coming with phony shit/statistics u don’t have and most definitely can’t prove ...And don’t go around stating what percentile you are when you have no credible source to back up your claim... your ego seems a bit fragile

 

[HorseHung40's]

Since both of you come from a religious community, and, neither has ever seen other penises, let me make several general statements, as they apply to you.

1.) Since there are fit issues, your penis is large for your wife.
2.) Assuming that you are monogamous, the size of others should not matter.
3.) On a general level, you are bigger than the average; however, for many men there is a self-reporting bias: They add inches to pad their egos.
4.) Just enjoy sex. It is pleasurable. I hope that you are not members of a religious community that views sex as sordid or vulgar. Those are mind-controlling cuts, in my opinion.
5.) If there are medical issues, a doctor is a better resource than this site. Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask your doctor anything.

 

[Sklar]

If you think of sex as if it's exercise or even a sports event, the warm up is the key.

You never hear of a professional athlete NOT warming up pre-race. If you watch football, you see guys practicing throws in the background, in case they are needed to swap out.

You don't see someone decide to do a marathon, without training, beforehand.

The point is, you need to get the body ready for the fun/exercise that you are about to do.

Another analogy is for child birth.

When the birth is about to occur, the vagina dilates to accompany the birth. it isn't the same size as it was in the beginning. It prepares itself to make the birthing as easy as it can.

You've already discovered that changing positions has helped her already.

If you want to do more research, read the Karma Sutra. That's always a good first step.

Also, prepare both of you mentally for what is going to happen. I am presuming that there is now some apprehension on both of your parts because, up until you changed positions, sex hasn't been as fun as it could be because of the "fit" problems.

If you go in with the thought: This is onerous or this is going to be difficult, you are absolutely right.

Do some research into lubrications. LOT'S of couples, be it gay or straight, use lube to help ease the process.

Penis size can be an issue if you use it like a caveman using his club.

Vagina size (for lack of a better term) can be an issue if it's not prepared for what is to happen.

But don't go into "analysis paralysis." Don't just research ad nauseum. Find two to three things that sound good (and easy) and start to incorporate them into your sex play.

I hope this helps,

Sklar

 

[deleted808122]

Being the owner of a penis with similar volume to yours (slightly shorter but slightly thicker), I can unequivocally confirm that you're what most consider "big". Percentiles be damned, I've had plenty of partners comment on it, and yes it has resulted in soreness, and at times difficulty unless I take time to prepare my partner.

 

[merc41]

Just want to chime in. Yes I'm larger than average 7 x 6 1/2 didnt really know it until I got involved in a male only masturbation group. Lots of comments on my girth. Wife came up in a very religous back round. Very vanilla sexually. I am the one always pushing the boundries. She is 67 now and I believe she still has never masturbated. I've introduced toys,oral - giving and recieving, all sexual positions. Some things she goes for some not. Three things I'd like to mention though 1. We have been using lube since our early thirtys. Believe me it makes all the differance in the world given my size. Sex is much more pleasurable for her. 2. I always make sure she has at least one orgasm or more. Oral,manual or with a majic wand. Hands down the best vibe for clitoral orgasms. 3. Finally had to tell her that sex with her sucked. She wasn't making any effort to improve it. Missonary was quite boring and if I didn't start getting more bj's I'd get them elsewhere. Same goes for frequency,attitude and willingness to try to improve. I did find the male jo group which was great but thought how much better things would be with someone I loved and could have fun with. I told her it's not as hard as she thinks to get laid elsewhere and proved it to her with the internet. It took a while but she made some dramatic improvements. I still have to be the one who pushes for it but at least she is willing now.

 

[AVx22]

You are a large man, both in girth and length. But not huge!

The only best option would be for her to see a doctor.

But, since you came here for advice: how much do you engage in other sexual activities like oral sex? Are you performing oral on her to arouse her to the point where she can take your penis?