Question(s) for the Masculine Gay/Bi Men

[Urien]

A question/discussion for the masculine gay/bi men (real masculine not just in terms of looks but emotional/psychological qualities you know who you are).

Do femme men turn you off and how much do they turn you off? Are you okay with just sleeping with them or would you be open to be in a relationship. I'd really like to hear your opinions.

To begin, let us define femme men in this context.

Possible Checklist -

- "Gay voice"
- Effeminate/"gay" talking manner (may include hand gestures. Expressive/animated face.
- Dressy or even eccentric fashion sense. May dress in women's clothes (but not cross dress).
- May wear "men's make up".
- More Sensitive/Emotional/hysterical than the average male. Not stoic.
- May cross dress on occasion or events (Full on transvestite as a sexual fetish or for fun, not because they are trans).
- Smooth?

Extreme example (if you don't know who this is, shame on you):

I'm only listing the qualities above that I've seen/heard to be consistently a turn off. Notice that these qualities have no bearing on their actual physical attractiveness, so for the sake of this poll imagine the femme man in question is physically your type.

I've also excluded all the GOOD feminine qualities that come with being femme, like being more caring, nurturing, and empathic. Since none of these are immediately evident.

So where do you stand on this? You meet or see a person and they are your type, they draw you closer and soon you realize they are a femme man. What's next?

 

[Sturdywords]

I'm a masculine gay top man and I like quite a wide range of guys, including those who are fem. The voice and mannerisms can be attractive in an almost seductive way, but makeup and jewellery is a turn off.

 

[gcs2718]

I'm mainly into masculine men but I've been with a few effeminate types and as long as I get to blow them, it's okay. Any cock in a storm...

 

[Brodie888]

I am gay, I am attracted to men with masculine characteristics.

Being a masculine acting/appearing sub bottom also narrows the field to those who can dominate me.

Not to say that there is anything wrong with any other part of the gay spectrum. To each their own. Everyone has their niche. It's just who I am and what turns me on.

 

[ActionBuddy]

Generally, I am not sexually attracted to effeminate men, but I am in admiration of them for being their true selves.
The world is a better and safer place with them amongst us, as it is with accepting and admiring the butchest bull-dykes.

I love them all... Vive la difference!

A/B

 

[Boaxy]

Okay first of all, Nathan Lane isn't feminine at all. He's what you call an actor, and the picture you used he played a very campy/flamboyant/cross dressing character as Robin Williams partner in "The Birdcage". In real life, he's the total opposite of that. I'd say as far as Gay men are concerned, he's pretty Masculine/low key.

Also, "Feminine" has a lot of different levels, and do you mean feminine like this.

Or like this

Or like this?

Or all three, or pick and mix or dib and dab between the three? Idk lol.

I wish there was an option for "I'm not attracted to feminine guys, but they are awesome." Instead of it making it seem like "Eww, feminine guys." etc.

Because I'm a Gay Black feminine man myself. So of course I don't hate feminine guys, I am one. I tend to like more burly/bear/rugged/nerdy/dorky/haggard type guys etc. No I'm not attracted to feminine guys, but some of the best, fierce, most awesome guys in the gay community, are feminine guys, so I of course support them and would always support them no matter what. So yeah.

 

[just Erik]

I really like effeminate gay guys. The type who are always dressed nice, not a hair out of place, slim, smooth body, very clean, flirty, bitchy . They are great bottoms and enjoy it.

 

[malakos]

Or like this?

What set of features are you seeing that would qualify femininity here?

 

[Boaxy]

What set of features are you seeing that would qualify femininity here?

For some reason LPSG ruined the quality on that one, so in the end it turned out to be a really bad picture lol, (and you can't edit/alter posts after a few minutes have passed on LPSG so oh well etc.) but that's Troy Sivan. He's I guess somewhat a popular celebrity, and he's very much from his attitude/mannerisms etc. flamboyantly gay/feminine. It's almost like he's doing a fusion of masculine/feminine traits, with the mustache, yet you see the jewelry/chokers, he just looks really fruity in that picture, no offense to Troy Sivan I like his music but yeah lol. Yet his feminine isn't over the top like Jeffree Star and James Charles, who were the other two examples, but he's still in the feminine category etc. My point was, the term "Feminine" is convoluted in this community.

Some people think if a guy is female passing, (Picture #1/Jeffree Star etc; long hair, makeup, drag queen etc.) he's feminine. Some people think if he's more twinkish (Picture #2/James Charles etc;campy/queenly etc.) He's feminine.

Then there are some people who are more strict/their idea of "Feminine" is more expansive, and feminine is basically guys who have fruity voices, who look sweet/soft, timid, frail etc. maybe gothy/alternative/punkish etc. So yeah. Which is why I used that third picture of Troy Sivan etc.

Some guys like I said before, even think it's all three, or believe somewhat in all three etc.

So yeah.

 

[liltibby]

I’m masculine and I love masculine guys who would pass as straight but I definitely like feminine guys who own it. The most jarring is when a guy presents physically as a dom meathead daddy and he’s a nelly queen when he talks. It kills my boner, but only because the outward appearance is too contrasting.

 

[Urien]

ms can be attractive in an almost seductive way, but makeup and jewellery is a turn off.

What about long hair?

I noticed a lot of men don't find it as attractive even if it is a masculine man with long hair.

Nathan Lane isn't feminine at all.

I was referring to the legendary character in Birdcage. Thought it was obvious. In that movie, Robin Williams was very masculine and he was in a loving relationship with a effeminate man.

"Feminine" has a lot of different levels, and do you mean feminine like this.

Yes it does and it is also very subjective and to a degree impacted by ethnic/cultural values. Some middle eastern men for example wear eyeliner but it isn't meant to be feminine, it's a masculine thing actually. Some people like Asians naturally have more delicate builds and no body hair. I listed some possible qualities but I can't list all.

These are the same guy for example, but one is OBJECTIVELY more feminine than the other. It's up to you to decide what's too feminine for you and where is the line drawn.

I wish there was an option for "I'm not attracted to feminine guys, but they are awesome." Instead of it making it seem like "Eww, feminine guys." etc.

That's you projecting. No one here is making it seem that way. And not everything needs to be sugarcoated. If someone doesn't find someone attractive it is NOT an attack on that person.

 

[liltibby]

What about long hair?

I noticed a lot of men don't find it as attractive even if it is a masculine man with long hair.


I was referring to the legendary character in Birdcage. Thought it was obvious. In that movie, Robin Williams was very masculine and he was in a loving relationship with a effeminate man.



Yes it does and it is also very subjective and to a degree impacted by ethnic/cultural values. Some middle eastern men for example wear eyeliner but it isn't meant to be feminine, it's a masculine thing actually. Some people like Asians naturally have more delicate builds and no body hair. I listed some possible qualities but I can't list all.

These are the same guy for example, but one is OBJECTIVELY more feminine than the other. It's up to you to decide what's too feminine for you and where is the line drawn.



That's you projecting. No one here is making it seem that way. And not everything needs to be sugarcoated. If someone doesn't find someone attractive it is NOT an attack on that person.

long hair is a strict no. no amount of attractiveness makes up for it, full stop.

 

[Boaxy]

That's you projecting. No one here is making it seem that way. And not everything needs to be sugarcoated. If someone doesn't find someone attractive it is NOT an attack on that person.

Meh, not not really. Because it seems in this community if you don't mind feminine men attractive, it's "Ugh, gross, feminine guys are annoying get away from me.".

When it's not like that. I find them attractive as far as friendships, and still support them, so I feel it is an attack in some way. HELL, I AM A FEMININE MAN SO I WOULD BE HATING MYSELF SMH. lol.

So yeah no fuck that. I agree with some of your post, but this part irked me, sorry.

 

[liltibby]

Meh, not not really. Because it seems in this community if you don't mind feminine men attractive, it's "Ugh, gross, feminine guys are annoying get away from me.".

When it's not like that. I find them attractive as far as friendships, and still support them, so I feel it is an attack in some way. HELL, I AM A FEMININE MAN SO I WOULD BE HATING MYSELF SMH. lol.

So yeah no fuck that. I agree with some of your post, but this part irked me, sorry.

so many people are afraid to say what they’re attracted to, because there’s an intense stigma and shaming circle around preference posting. the “no fems no fats” thing that dates back to 70s gay dating personal ads has really burnt up a lot of people, and instead of trying to act more masculine in the bedroom during a hookup (which is entirely possible and not gonna collapse someone’s entire identity, by the way), people would rather cry about it and make people feel bad for not being attracted to it.

you’ll get people who want to pretend to have nuance: “well, what you’re attracted to is fine, just don’t go around saying it” as if hookup culture should spare them their feelings, when hookup culture is cutthroat and toxic in its own right, so if you step into it, you just have to deal with it.

the guy you’re replying to and many men in these spaces are communicating with the goal of fucking, not being friends. so i think the issue may be your considering this all one homogenous “community” with the same goal.

at the end of the day, i wish everyone could be hot to everyone and we could all just endlessly fuck, but that’s just not the case. and being a pissy pussy about it is more of a turnoff than any innate characteristic you might have. but i’ll grant that anyone who doesn’t befriend a feminine guy due to their not being sexually attractive is fucked up, but gay men are probably the most behind the curve when it comes to having loving and supportive friendships. it’s all fuck circles and mean girl culture by my measure