Question to Bi Guyz

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bayareaBloke, Nov 30, 2008.

  1. bayareaBloke

    bayareaBloke Well-Known Member

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    So i'm sure that with Men, if you are a bi male who had previous relationships with Women it wouldn't be a big deal. in fact, having that "Straight" edge might turn your guy on more.
    but, in the case of a man who has had previous relationships with Men and are now dating a Woman...

    is that something you want to tell her before you get too far into the relationship? Or is that one of those "Save it to your deathbed" type things?

    I just get the feeling a woman would be severely turned Off (depending on the woman of course).

    But how have some Bi Guys handled this, if at all, in your past or present?
     
  2. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    There are actually some women who gravitate toward bi guys. I have had some women tell me that they like the openness of bi men to various experiences and their frequent lack of rigid sexual roles and macho attitude.

    I think that it is always best to be honest about one's past and to be open from the start about who one is.
     
  3. bayareaBloke

    bayareaBloke Well-Known Member

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    how, in your experience, have women reacted?
    and... how soon? as soon as i start to get a vibe that i like the girl?
    have you had any longlasting relationships with women after you've told them?
     
  4. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

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    this is not my experience, but I have a male friend who is bi & he currently has a girlfriend...he told me that he told her about his past before they got serious, but I'm not sure that he really did...I only say that because I've known her for years and I've heard her make some REALLY homophobic statements...

    I do have one female friend who told me that she'd still date a guy who was bi, as long as he was honest about it from the beginning...
     
  5. bayareaBloke

    bayareaBloke Well-Known Member

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    Yea i've heard that from women too.
    but none of them were ever actually in that position.
     
  6. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

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    no..in fact the friend who said that was married at the time & had been for over 10 years...her husband recently left her...
     
  7. Phil Ayesho

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    My ex-wife did not react to it well...

    The woman I have been with for the past 16 years did not seem to think much of it one way or another... other than wanting to know if I was gonna be sneaking off to be with guys.

    The one issue women will generally have with it is their fear that they will not be enough to satisfy your bisexual urges and that you will be screwing with guys on the side.

    You have to be honorable enough to know the answer to that and let them know up front.
     
  8. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

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    QFT
    You also have to be honest with yourself and with your mate...

    It's a bad idea to try to deny who you are and what you want...it's bad for all involved...
     
  9. BiItalianBro

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    Honesty has worked well for me. I'm very upfront with my female or male partners. There have been a few that flipped out, but for most part they appreciate my candor. I let them know that my duo-sexuality is not a personal license to be a whore...but it is an aspect of my personality.
     
  10. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    If a guy I'm interested tells me that he's been with men, I think "bonus!"
     
  11. durbantom

    durbantom Active Member

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    As hard as it is tell your partner very early on in the relationship. The longer you put it off, the harder it is to bring the subject up. In the discussion if the partner senses that you are at ease with your sexuality, they will be more likely to be at ease with it as well, however if you come accross totally freaked out and a bit afraid, she / he is going to sense this as well and run for the hills.

    My first longterm relationship was with a gal who had previously been married to a man who left her for another man. I couldnt have done more damage to the relationship, had I shot her.

    My second relationship was fine with it, until the divorce, then she used it as a big stick and leverage tool regarding child access.

    My post divorce relationship lady was totally unfazed by this revelation and said that its the here and now that counts. I respectect her to this day for her level attitude.

    I have remarried and am firmly commited to monogamy and being faithfull and have had many conversations with my wife regarding my bi side and neither of us sees this as a problem area in our marriage.
     
  12. D_Seymour_Dix

    D_Seymour_Dix New Member

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    Firstly to answer your question, you should be happy to tell your currently relationship pretty much anything about your past ones. At the end of the day if you hide it, it will come out in the wash at some point.

    But I do think it's funny, I still feel there is this "double standard". If a women comes out and says that she's been with a women in a past relationship, most men would think it's cool (perhaps even the very long shot of a threesome). But if a man says that they've been with a man in the past. Or even being in a relationship with a women, say that they are attracted to other men, as well as women. A lot of people outcast them (figure of speech I don't mean banished to a desert island some where). Perhaps it's a society thing, I don't know. What you asked just got me thinking...

    So on this topic, does anyone else feel there is a double standard?
     
  13. ges

    ges Member

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    If I had my time again (married 25 years), I'd NOT say a word. My wife has been very suspicious (with some justification) and it's not been pleasant. She suspects every guy I attempt to be friends with.
    I doubt that any woman would accept it for the long term.
     
  14. mattbuddy

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    When I told my old girlfriend that I had done some things with guys she was totally fine with it. Just as long as I didn't cheat on her with another man or another woman she was cool.
     
  15. mattbuddy

    Verified Gold Member

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    I do kind of agree with you... in my opinion you don't need to tell her everything. As long as you are focused on her and her only who cares who you previously dated/fucked.
     
  16. ZOS23xy

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    My wife is fine with it. She's kind of a dyke, and she initially thought I was gay. We were fairly active with one another and others and a few threesomes, but marriage and job and a house and kids get in the way...
     
  17. limoso

    limoso New Member

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    My wife gets off on watching me suck dick.
     
  18. D_WChelseaswpa

    D_WChelseaswpa New Member

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    Well try being TG while explaining all that! I love females dearly and want to be with them the majority of the time. I dated a woman last year who totally accepted me for who I was, unfortunately she was married and we eventually broke it off. But being honest from the get go is always the best policy, after all that is a big issue for one to ignore over a long period of time.

    I also agree with Tyler it is a total double standard in how this taken in society as a whole.
     
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