Question: Which do You Prefer in a Partner?

[Steve26]

I'd say "B" and "D" -- not necessarily in that order.

"A" would probably be my last choice. In my opinion, physical appearance is a poor basis for a long-term relationship since it's pretty much guaranteed to change dramatically over time.

Steve

 

[dongalong]

E - then there is nothing missing!

 

[cjc3552]

E - then there is nothing missing!

I agree. Having it all would be the ideal.

 

[D_Tina_Ciao]

Does it make us unrealistic, do you think, to want it all?

I have so doggone much to give, all of myself is invested in a relationship and the man who becomes the center of my world. Just don't know how to do it any other way.

Does wanting it all amount to a recipe for disaster, or selfishness? ARE those of us who want it all just unrealistic, idealistic?

 

[nudeyorker]

Does it make us unrealistic, do you think, to want it all?

I have so doggone much to give, all of myself is invested in a relationship and the man who becomes the center of my world. Just don't know how to do it any other way.

Does wanting it all amount to a recipe for disaster, or selfishness? ARE those of us who want it all just unrealistic, idealistic?

NO wanting it all does not mean you are selfish... holding out means that you are waiting for everything that you want and deserve. I spent most of my adult life single because I was not willing to settle for less than I was looking for. Lucky for me I found it....you can too! Don't settle!

 

[D_Tina_Ciao]

NO wanting it all does not mean you are selfish... holding out means that you are waiting for everything that you want and deserve. I spent most of my adult life single because I was not willing to settle for less than I was looking for. Lucky for me I found it....you can too! Don't settle!

Hope you're right; I want you to be right, but I have *never* had a relationship with a man in which I didn't do almost all the giving. I need someone to take care of me for a change, with me giving in abundance but also having a man who can appreciate me and all I have to give, because I'm a well of depth, complex, and I have a helluva lot to offer. Afraid it's too late in life for me, but thanks for words of encouragement.

I'm truly happy for you, that you found it! How wonderful!

 

[Jovial]

D since I'm very needy.

 

[D_Mylor Mentallydaft]

a,b,d

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

Hope you're right; I want you to be right, but I have *never* had a relationship with a man in which I didn't do almost all the giving. I need someone to take care of me for a change, with me giving in abundance but also having a man who can appreciate me and all I have to give, because I'm a well of depth, complex, and I have a helluva lot to offer. Afraid it's too late in life for me, but thanks for words of encouragement.

I'm truly happy for you, that you found it! How wonderful!

Not trying to add another cliche to your thread :08:, but, it is never too late.

The best advice I ever received was from a woman that did not meet the love of her life until she was in her late 50s - she advised a group of us to identify whatever was making us unhappy or holding us back in life, make a list of those things along with what we desired, and make changes accordingly.
She said once your life resembles what you desire, not a perfect existence, but comfortable in who you are, others who are in the same place will be attracted to that positive energy.

She was one of my father's best friends and I barely remembered her because she spent her whole life trying to figure out how to alter herself to fit what others wanted, sacrificing to keep the peace (her 1st husband was a real ass), support others and make them happy, and seemed slightly angry and bitter for it.
But, once she stopped thinking of what she needed to change for others and started doing things that fulfilled her, made her smile, and brought back her joy of life (including leaving the ass), her current husband found her.

He was attracted to her inner happiness, strength, and amazing spirit, but she said if she had not made the changes in her life that fed her spirit, he never would have noticed her. I can say that she was like the shell of the vibrant woman that she is now, and rather than hoping others see what she has to offer, you can't help but notice that she radiates warmth, strength, and everything lovely.
Not saying that everything will immediately fall into place, because it took her several years, but I believe in her advice. Although, I may take a detour every now and again :08:, I apply her advice to my life and feel happiness, openness, and self-contentedness all help attract good people to you.

I wish you the best! :hug:

 

[slimeyhead]

I think I will go with E. E made this question too easy

 

[B_stu.kay823]

E, without a shadow of a doubt

 

[MickeyLee]

Question: What do you prefer in a partner most for the long haul?
A. Physical chemistry (big boobs/cock, attractive face/body)
B. Intellectual synch
C. Spiritual bond
D. Emotional support +a sense of humor
E. Need it all

A. Sexual Chemistry/Compatibility - i'm a freak. nilla don't work for me.
B. Political/Ethical Common Ground - veal is bad blah-blah-blah long list of rants.
C. Open Minded + Curiosity - requirement for loving me.
D. Sense of Adventure - my kind don't stay in one place for long.

no E -love people for who they are. i don't expect to get everything from one person. i wouldn't want the pressure of trying to be anyone's everything. i'm not cool enough to do it gracefully. :redface:

ohoh i have an E... spooning on the couch watching crap movies all day. E is not up for negotiation.

 

[B_Bonky]

Does it make us unrealistic, do you think, to want it all?

I have so doggone much to give,

Keep in mind that what you have to "give" is largely determined by what the other person wants. If you have nothing they want, then what you have to "give" to them = 0.

For example, if you are fluent in Latin, spent years studying it and can speak it as well as Cicero could, you arguably have a lot to "give" to the Latin-speaking world. However, if you meet a guy who doesn't speak it, doesn't give a hoot in hell about Latin and never even heard of Cicero, then you don't have that to give to him.

So you first need to determine what specifically you have to "give" and then determine what kind of guy would go for that.

Reminds me of a girl who used to say "I think I'm going to become a high-priced call girl." I had to tell her, "Honey your price ain't determined by you, but by your customers. You can only get from them what you are worth to them."

Your worth to others determines what you will get from the dating and/or marriage market.