Questioning my sexuality

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by mephistopheles, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. mephistopheles

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    I recently broke it off with my fiance of 3 years...

    I am single now and thinking of my options. One thought crossed my mind.

    I am wondering if I should start chasing after men as well as woman. I have never been intimate with a man. But I find them attractive at times.

    I am not gay bashing or trying to be an idiot... I am young and naive and wondering if I wanna suck on a dick.

    Humor me.

    As an added bonus: I will post a few stories about me and men if anyone replies to this thread and mentions this ad.
     
  2. bicuriousbc

    bicuriousbc Member

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    go for it.
    enjoy the best of both worlds.
     
  3. D_CountdeGrandePinja

    D_CountdeGrandePinja Account Disabled

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    I'd like to help you find out!
     
  4. Swordie

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    If u'r ever in NYC, hit me up. Don't stress abt it, let it work out naturally.
     
  5. dolfette

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    if you're not sure then you can give it a try.
    if you don't like it then you'll know not to bother again.
    as long as you're both rubbered up, what do you have to lose?
     
  6. mephistopheles

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    Well. I feel kind'a weird about it. I'm from OK and my family is kind'a... you know.

    I don't want to get in there and freak out about it and ruin something that could be great.

    My father is my hero. The greatest man who ever lived... I know he wont be disappointed or upset, But the idea of letting him down kills me.
    My family are all southern baptists... and they can get crazy.

    I dont think he would be let down, he loves me and accepts me, but... its just always been drilled to me by my grandparents... Man on man = bad.
     
  7. nailbender

    nailbender New Member

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    if your having thoughts about men and you find them attractive in a sexual way then you need to act on that and find out if thats what you really want.

    Good Luck!!!
     
  8. justmeincal

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    If you think your father is the greatest man who ever lived and he loves you, you don't really have a problem.

    I'm sure if your dad is as neat as you say he is, all he wants is for you to be happy. I went through the same thing you are going through now. My dad had to drag it out of me that I was gay.

    My dad is my hero also. He was born in the 20s and had no concept of what being bi/gay was like. I know I threw him and my mom for a loop when they found out I was gay. They were and still are very religious. But they accept and embrace my partner as a son. I am now in my 50s and they are in their 80s and our relationship is better than ever.

    I grew up in rural Illinois, so perhaps not so different from OK.

    Be honest with your dad and hopefully all will be fine.

    Good luck to you.



     
    #8 justmeincal, Jun 28, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2010
  9. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I will definitely "humor" you. I know sexual/emotional attraction is a complicated issue. I would say to trust your own desires and urges and see where they lead you. I know for me, it was really important to be in a relationship with a guy who I also loved and respected, but not everyone needs that. Many guys can just suck it dick with no emotion connected to it. For me having the deeper emotional connection created a level of trust and comfort, so it was important for me. All the best. :biggrin1:
     
  10. invisibleman

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    Well, you are at a crossroad then. You don't have to tell your family if you are afraid to pick sides. But if you ever decide that you want to be with guys totally. In order to be with them, you may end up losing family members. It will suck. And some aren't gonna understand you at all. If you lose someone that matters to you alot, that does suck.

    But if having gay relationships matters to you and to who you are...you will pick the most sincere non-pretentious way. It is honest...even though difficult.

    You should probably meet a few men on "the down low" for a while and date a few women. You never really know with men. Some men can get gay married...some men can't get a gay date to save their lives.

    So, after you've played for both teams for a while. You can make your own decisions.
     
  11. sdbg

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    If you have a pal that would want to play around, it would probably be better than hooking up with a total stranger. My best friend and I experimented back when I was 25. I really liked him and having great sex together made me fall madly in love with him. That's when I found out for sure that I was gay. We were hot and heavy for 6 years.
     
  12. mephistopheles

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    Thanks for all of the replies guys, it really means a lot to me.

    I'll take all of your advice. Granted I'm inexperienced, but it makes sense!

    Thanks so much!
     
  13. CUBE

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    I don't think one should hook up just because they think they should try it. I think you should hook up with a person you are interested in. If fucking a guy is a tun on, then yes. If fucking a woman is a turn on, then yes. Good that you didn't get married if you are not ready
     
  14. maneater716

    maneater716 New Member

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    ok.... everyone said somthing.... where is the stories u promised us???lol
     
  15. mephistopheles

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    Yea, I was really naive.

    Ha ha you were the first one to mention it.

    I'll write it all up here in a bit and put it in a PM for you.
    I do have a few stories, but no sex. :p
     
  16. jump_start

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    I've been in your exact position. Like you, I was young and VERY naive (18 years old when engaged to my high school sweetheart). The biggest difference between you and I is the fact that I KNEW I was gay, even when I asked her to marry me. I broke off the engagement when I realized that there was no way I'd ever be able to live a lie for what could quite possibly be the rest of my life. She claims I ruined her life and hates me to this day (we haven't spoken in 15 years, at least not on an amicable level). I know I did the right thing and saved her a lot of hell and a ton of heartbreak, had this came to light 10, 20, 30, or however many years down the road.

    Only you know what you're attracted to. If you feel as if you need to test the waters of a man/man relationship, then you should do so. You don't have to come busting out of the closet with a marching band, a parade, and a pink neon sign saying you're a big ol' homo. Nobody really has to know to begin with, and really, if you find out that a man/man relationship isn't for you, then you don't have to reveal it to anyone, unless you feel it's absolutely necessary. When I came out (broke off the engagement in 1994, didn't completely come out to family and friends until 1999), I was scared that I was going to lose my best friend and certain family members. It turns out that my best friend became my biggest supporter, and the family members that I was scared of losing, didn't disappear. Not everyone has family and friends with this reaction, but like you, I'm originally from the bible belt (southern Alabama), and it doesn't get more bible-thumping than THAT. One important point I need to make: my family may KNOW about my sexuality, but it is NEVER talked about, referenced, or questioned. I don't like that aspect, but it is what it is. Based on your original post, I tend to think that this is how your father will react.

    I live on the opposite side of the country from my family now, and I'm just fine with that. I know I'll never be able to take any of my boyfriends home to meet my family, and I'm ok with that. My friends are what truly matters, and they accept me for who I am, and accept who I am in a relationship with.

    Hope this helps.

    Now...where's my story? :biggrin1:
     
  17. oddeyeblu

    oddeyeblu Member

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    Look at all the 100% straight guys in here. If such a thing existed, they would be in something like pussy pals.org or breasts unlimited. It's a gray world we live in, not black and white. It's human nature to be curious about other men.
     
  18. knobgoblin

    knobgoblin New Member

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    True,that's a good point! It is a gray world,I love women so much and recently as I'm curious about men it's been bugging me,not that I've anything against gay people I just always thought I was straight I'm 26 now abd I think it's failed relationships that tests the brain to,def no harm in looking I suppose
     
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