Questions for mostly gay guys(all guys too lol):)

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by phx_girl, May 17, 2009.

  1. phx_girl

    phx_girl New Member

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    umm well ima girl and pretty much the only reason i made an account on here was to ask a question. i saw a thread about gay guys having sex with girls and i foundit very interesting. sadly, not alot fo guys posted lol.i have a few gay guy friends and ive alwasy been curious if when guys had sex with a girl. if they did, did they lik eit. i had this friend who was totally gay. told me hed never have sex with a girl cuz he did it once and hated it. but then he got a gf. it was so bizzare to me. i mean what if the first girl was just bad?lol.i was wondering if guys that concider themselves to be gay, had sex with a girl first?if so how many times? not saying that u need to have sex with a girl to know ur gay. but some guys test it to see right? or if u are gay but still like havign sex with girls? im a lil nervous cuz im new and idk if im doing this right eep!im a very curious person when it comes to guys cuz im a chick and u guys r total opposites!hehe ok now answer please :biggrin1:
     
  2. sbeBen

    sbeBen New Member

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    Some people are more straight than others and some are more gay than others. You cannot pigeon-hole people with regards sexuality and orientation. It's not black and white.... lots of grey shades in between.:wink:
     
  3. phx_girl

    phx_girl New Member

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    i know. i meant it in a individual way. what that person thinks of how they r of what they thought about having sex with a girl or w/e. i really liek the orintation thing on this site btw lol.i probably came off sounding weird lol. gosh im so bad at making sense lol
     
  4. D_Jerry_Atric

    D_Jerry_Atric Account Disabled

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    Most of the gay men I know have never had sex with women since there's zero sexual attraction there towards women at all, and some have told me how the idea icks them out or how they can't even imagine having sex with a woman at all since they are so into men and not into women at all.

    The gay men I know who have had sex with women before they were out or realized that they were gay, have told me how they did not enjoy it and would never do it again.

    Find yourself a bisexual guy as bisexual men are actually sexually attracted to men and women.
     
  5. phx_girl

    phx_girl New Member

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    bi guys r easier to understand that gay guys lol. well sometimes. i have this guy friend of mine thats gay but then hes attracted to black girl. or was before he realized he was gay. but the way he talks sometimes makes him seems liekhe likes girls too. its difficult to explain lol. sometimes he says im gettign attracted to soem girls then other times he says yuck vagina lmao. i hate not gettign it. i knwo i never will fully but i gotta try cuz im just nosy that way lol
     
  6. StrictlyAvg

    StrictlyAvg Member

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    Slightly differently phrased to the one of the staple topics of this site. Threads get started or revived every day along the lines of "is [oral/anal/jacking off etc] gay?"; "I did this with a buddy, does that make me gay?". Mainly looking for a pigeonhole to put themselves in it would seem, or tacit acceptance that, "no, that's not all THAT gay".

    Perhaps that's being harsh, most (I think) seem to be looking for a place to put themselves on the sliding scale between 100% straight and 100% gay and I can understand that many communities, families and groups of peers wouldn't be too accommodating of such a question. A not-very-accepting group would immediately jump to the conclusion that any deviation from 100% straight automatically = 100% gay.

    Life, if you spend any time on here, ain't like that. Guys whose whole sexual experience is 100% gay are actually quite rare if you read people's wide ranging life experiences on here.

    One of my sisters old housemates was very camp and his sex life had been and was exclusively gay when I first met him when he was 18 - though a bit of a tortured soul with a drink problem. Ten years later he gets through pretty girls like they're going out of fashion and from what he's told my sis rarely, if ever, goes with blokes any more. Go figure. The human psyche defies neat pigeon-holing.

    Anyway, I'll be interested to see what the responses are.

    PS You haven't got a gay guy in mind you're trying to "turn" have you...
     
    #6 StrictlyAvg, May 17, 2009
    Last edited: May 17, 2009
  7. zawfi

    zawfi New Member

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    Some thoughtful comments about the complex nature of human sexuality and desire from the guys before me on this thread, so I will attempt to avoid a repeat of what they've already said.

    Speaking for myself though, and as a bisexual married man, I will say that I had sex with guys many times, starting as a teenager, before I ever had sex with a woman. I have always liked guys, both sexually and as companions, and am still very attracted to guys. But in my 30s, still wanting to see what having sex with a woman was like, I found myself dating a woman who I would describe as nothing less than a nympho. Sex with her was amazing, because she was good to me in bed in every way, and she didn't expect me to reciprocate oral sex. She blew me, we fucked (my first time with a woman), and we had lots of fun and I had amazing orgasms.

    But other women after that were not the same, and I don't like performing oral sex with a woman. I am now married to a woman who is a fantastic life partner in every way, except for the sex. She is no longer interested in sex, expects or even wants very little from me, and gives back about the same. In some ways, it's perfect for me, in other ways, completely frustrating. If I had been more honest with myself in my 30s about my true sexual desires, I probably would have settled down with a guy, but that's an alternate history that will never exist, so who can tell.
     
    #7 zawfi, May 17, 2009
    Last edited: May 17, 2009
  8. bstexas

    bstexas Member

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    Like others have said, there are many shades of grey. some guys have sex with girls when they are younger because they think that is what they are supposed to do, they are brought up to be with the opposite sex, even tho they may be tortured inside and they don't feel it is right for them. but that doesn't mean they hated it, it just wasn't for them. And many people float through life experimenting with sexuality (at least those who are more honest and open about themselves). Doesn't mean they hate sex with the same or opposite sex, it's just being able to change. Some people view sex as just sex (I think especially guys) and it's just about getting off and if it is a girl they are fuking or a guy blowing them, as long as they get off they get over the creep factor. I've never had sex with the opposite sex; i felt i was not forced into the situation when i didn't want to be. however, i find women attractive and had even thought about having sex with a girl but it just wasn't something i wanted to follow through on. And if I did it's not something I would get creeped about even tho it would be my first time.
     
  9. phx_girl

    phx_girl New Member

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    if u really feel that way shouldnt u tell her?i mean u both deserve to be truely happy.
     
    #9 phx_girl, May 17, 2009
    Last edited: May 17, 2009
  10. zawfi

    zawfi New Member

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    I assume you're talking to me. And I think we are both happy. Our lives, hers and mine, are good and made richer together, in spite of the fact that we are not fucking like animals all the time. The companionship and friendship we've developed by being together for more than a decade is unique, and losing that just to have a better sex life is not worth it to me. Yes, this probably sounds very middle class, but that's what I am, middle class. Truthfulness does not always beget happiness.
     
  11. phx_girl

    phx_girl New Member

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    thats the sweetest thing :smile:. i think sex is very inportant in a relationship but not the most important thing.i like this site :biggrin1:. the people on here are so smart and say nice things.would you say shes your true love?do you believe in true loves?
     
  12. zawfi

    zawfi New Member

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    I think she is now my soul mate, so to speak, although we have any differences of opinion and dreams as you would expect to find with almost any couple. Some of the guys I've known as friends, not even as sexual partners, in my younger days would excite me on the inside like few people can, and that's what I always expected love to be like.
     
  13. Fredro

    Fredro New Member

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    phx_girl

    Maybe you would understand the feelings of gay men about having sex with women if you put yourself in their shoes. You list yourself as straight. How would the thought of having all out lesbian sex make you feel? Not your bag? Well, that's how having hetero sex with women make gay guys feel.
     
  14. Rubber_JonnyN

    Rubber_JonnyN New Member

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    Put it this way, I class myself as bisexual, but have only had sex with other men. I class myself as bi simply because I'd leave the option open to having sex with a woman if the right one came along. Also, I've had girlfriends when I was younger, so I must have been attracted to them, so I believe it can change throughout your life depending on the situation and environment you're in.
     
  15. phx_girl

    phx_girl New Member

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    i really hope other people post because idk what else to say to u lol. everything your saying is so sweet and i hope ill experience something like that.im a virgin to everything so ive never been inlove yet. or that i concider real love.i have ideas about love and all that but of course i have no real way of knowing if what i think love should be is how it really is.the way u describe you personal situation is how i hoep it is.but i hope the sex is great too :S.im glad i talked tou, i was second guessing what i concidered to be how love should. but the way you worded how u felt about urwife make me stop rethinking it all.:biggrin1:
     
  16. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    My take on this is that I've been in relationships with both girls and guys but mostly girls. However I would define myself more as a guy who prefers the people I love rather than preferring one gender over the other. Does that make sense? I've fallen in love with a few guys in my life so far and that has been wonderful. I've also fallen in love with girls. I don't think the feelings are any different between them. For me this isn't mainly about sex but more about the people I care about. I don't really like to have casual sex where I don't even know the girl or guy at all. I think there has to be some sexual/emotional compatibility to have a great relationship that is satisfying on all levels. :biggrin1:
     
  17. zawfi

    zawfi New Member

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    Well said, Jon.
     
  18. bruce-e

    bruce-e Member

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    Jon, Way to go! You make total sense.
     
  19. Bbucko

    Gold Member

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    I have had sex with two women, both of whom I met years after I came out. One was because I was curious and horny, the other was because she was curious and horny.

    Somehow, some day, somewhere I'd like to do it again, but the criteria are so specific that I find it rather unlikely.
     
  20. auncut10in

    auncut10in Well-Known Member

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    I grew up in a very conservative religious family. Being gay was not really an option. I knew I was gay but felt like if I just got married I could learn to like women. My honeymoon was the first time I ever had sex with a woman. I did love my wife but sexually I would just pretend I was with a guy. In the end, I had to be honest and came out. She is the only woman I have ever had sex with. Somehow I think it would be immoral for me to have sex with another woman. While I am not involved in my faith which strongly rejects homosexuality, I still feel it would be wrong. Kind of confusing I know, but just a different perspective. I have gotten over the guilt of having sex with guys and am so much more happy.
     
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