Human sexuality is a fluid and dynamic thing. This applies not just to ones taste in partners but in the acts one finds enjoyable and satisfying.
When I first started having sex in 1977 (at 17), it usually took one of two approaches:
1) Anonymous sex in porn theaters and bathhouses: this almost always included anal sex with me as the top;
2) Sex with guys whom I either brought home or to whose home I visited: this was generally (but hardly exclusively) oral/JO/frot.
The first variety involved a much more diverse group of guys as I tended to not be very selective in the dark. The second group was based on mutual attraction: physical, emotional and intellectual (based on conversation), but I hadn't yet developed techniques to negotiate who would do what to whom.
I figured we'd figure it out in the clutches of sex, and this was not always the best approach as I'd soon learn. Due to my age, very few guys presumed me to be a top and as likely as not I'd make yet another abortive attempt at bottoming, which I always found degrading, messy and painful but somehow necessary if I were to be a fully-actualized gay man (the fact that there are so few "tops" who have any skills in that area certainly didn't help matters); it wasn't until I was 20 that I gave up on even trying to bottom after an especially enlightening conversation with a regular fuckbud. He told me that sex should be a joy, not a drudge, and if I found something distasteful or unpleasant it was silly to keep doing it.
So I grew very comfortable restricting my sexual expression to oral/JO/frot, especially as I preferred completely mutual sex and was uneasy in wanting to fuck someone whom I wouldn't let fuck me in return. The only guys I'd ever fuck were strict, non-versatile bottoms who, in Boston in the early 80s were few and far between (at least ones whom I found attractive).
Probably 85% of my encounters at that time were non-anal. When asked in bars if I were a top or a bottom, I'd joke that I was a "side", meaning that I preferred 69ing on my side. As AIDS started becoming more and more publicised, I grew to understand that this was also a great way of practicing safer sex without resorting to condoms, which I've always loathed.
In 1985 (age 25) I met a non-versatile Venezuelan bottom whom I fell passionately in love with, and I finally learned the pure joy of the combination of great anal sex and deep feelings. After that broke up after four turbulent years, I tried reverting back to my "side" position but found it less and less satisfying.
I met the love of my life two years later and moved to Paris to be with him. He was incredibly ambivalent about anal sex, and in the two years we had (until he died) I probably didn't fuck him more than a dozen times: everything else was oral and JO.
Returning to Boston after he died, my grief took on the strange effect of my being in a near-constant state of horniness, and though I'd blow the guys I was with would always fuck them; by that stage in my life (mid 30s) I was no longer shy or uncomfortable about declaring myself as a non-versatile top.
I eventually met a guy who helped me with my grief and rebuild my life; he was a near-total bottom. On the very rare times when he expressed a desire in fucking me, I'd grease my thighs, perineum and balls and we'd do some intercural sex, which satisfied him without my actually being penetrated. We were together nine years.
In the six years that I've been single since, I can count the non-anal encounters I've had on one hand. At this stage of my life, sex without fucking just isn't interesting to me at all. And since I live in Ft Bottomdale I have a huge assortment form which to choose, even restricting myself to only guys living with HIV it's still an embarrassment of riches
