questions for the ladies,

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by dolfette, Aug 28, 2009.

  1. dolfette

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    about femininity...
    is feeling feminine important to you?
    what makes you feel feminine?
    what makes you feel less feminine?
    have you ever faced any major blows to your feelings of femininity, such as mastectomy, excess hair or infertility?
     
  2. kazooplayer

    kazooplayer New Member

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    [Insert a plethora of males answering a question explicitly directed at females.]
     
  3. ScorpioSlut

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    And of course you're the first one.


    That's a hard question to answer really. There are always things that make me feel less feminine but they're generally situational for me. I guess the biggest challenges for me would be height and the size of my feet. I'm tall enough that finding a taller man or at least one who is closer to my height is a challenge and finding super cute, super feminine shoes in my size is sometimes difficult to say the least...especially since I can't wear heels again just yet.

     
  4. Daisy

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    is feeling feminine important to you? Yes, definitely

    what makes you feel feminine?
    Lots of things, not just my appearance but my taste, I love pink, I love having a girl, I love snuggling, kissing, wearing 4" heels and short skirts, I love all things girly. I've always been very into hair and makeup and perfume. Of course having children is the ultimate feeling of femininity. (being pregnant, breastfeeding, holding a sleeping baby)

    what makes you feel less feminine? when I go to the gym in Nike shorts and a tshirt, my hair up in a ponytail.

    have you ever faced any major blows to your feelings of femininity, such as mastectomy, excess hair or infertility?
    Nope, I have had physical changes which could be by many considered a "loss", but I feel great.
     
  5. Enid

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    no, feeling feminine in the traditional sense is not important to me at all.

    in my opinion you don't have to dress feminine in order to remain feminine...so it's defo not make-up or clothes that do it for me though they may enhance that depending on the context.

    i like feeling feminine in contrast to my partner, it's the adorable contrast between the masculine and the feminine in the physical sense i guess -- that is what gets me.

    i've never noticed a lack in my feelings of womanliness.
     
  6. Patchos

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    I feel forced to be feminine, and often capitulate so I don't feel so out of place. But as I get older this doesn't matter as much.
     
  7. D_Tina_Ciao

    D_Tina_Ciao Account Disabled

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    Is my femininity important? Definitely - its the core of who I am.
    I don't do anything to feel feminine - I am feminine.
    I never feel less feminine - my femininity is never threatened.
    No, Always been very secure in my femininity.
    Geez, that sounds smug - but I don't mean it to be - I just have always known who and what I am, and been proud of my female sexuality which is a strong part of femininity.
     
  8. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

    D_Hyacinth Harrytwat Account Disabled

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    I don't go looking for my femininininin...nity, I just let it come and go. I appear feminine next to my man, but next to other girls, I feel like the man. I grew up fat and looked unshapely for so long; now I've slimmed out but only have half the typical lady curves (got the ass but not the tits). Oh and then there are the Italian genes but I do all manners of woman-scaping so that I don't look like a bear. I gave up on my femininity, essentially. Why should I act in a way that goes against my nature?

    I just make the best of what I've got, and if that means competing in the male realm every once in a while, I don't mind at all.
     
  9. dolfette

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    i hear those a lot.
    when guys get into the height debate i don't think they really apreciate how important feeling feminine in comparison to them can be to our sexuality.
    i've always been slim but struggle with guys skinnier than i am...makes me feel oversized and clumpy.
    where does the pressure come from?
    family? friends? the public in general? media?
    is it overt or subtle?
    ahahaha! i felt like that typing it.
    spellchecked it twice to be sure.
     
  10. B_Dustydo

    B_Dustydo New Member

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    I think being female has at times held me back.
    I do believe that society isn't and hasn't changed quick enough to be entirely comfortable with my unconventional self.

    I do love some of the trappings of womanhood.
    High heels, fitted skirts, handbags, lipstick.

    I hate uncomfortable underwear.
    Bra's are evil!
    Regardless of functionality they are uncomfortable.
    Thongs/G-strings never fail to make me feel like a dog with a dose of worms. I'd rather go without wearing panties at all than deal with the sheer torture of wearing one.
    It isn't sexy to be constantly diving into your own arse to re-adjust annoying underwear.
     
  11. Patchos

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    The Patriarchy...you're soaking in it.

    I leave my feminist card at the door when I visit LPSG.
     
  12. silvergirl

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    yeah i'm very much bothered by this... i am tall n pretty solid so any guy that is shorter than me i dont usually take a 2nd look at... i love tall muscely men... i dunno i use to be really into skinny pretty boys but dont like how they make me feel about myself cos i often end up feeling more like the man than the guy. i love high heels tho... and "brazillian" style underwear... i think they r the sexiest panties everrrr... put a pair of heels, sexy underwear, well done makeup and a nice dress on n i feel like the sexiest woman alive :) also i hate being hairy. i hate hair on men or women. (other than the head... and legs for guys... to an extent) i think a full bush on a woman is rather unsightly n perhaps a bit unfeminen. but then there are guys who feel that women shud have some hair down there otherwise they feel like they r fucking a child...
     
  13. Daisy

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    OK true, I didn't even mention this. Youre talking about being Feminist as opposed to me feeling feminine.

    My hero is Gloria Steinem.
    A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.

    A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.

    For much of the female half of the world, food is the first signal of our inferiority. It lets us know that our own families may consider female bodies to be less deserving, less needy, less valuable.

    I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

    No man can call himself liberal, or radical, or even a conservative advocate of fair play, if his work depends in any way on the unpaid or underpaid labor of women at home, or in the office.
     
  14. dolfette

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    it's never been much of an issue, because i look so feminine physically. i think i take it for granted most of the time.

    nice clothes, pretty underwear, big men...they help...

    but i do things to reduce it in a conventional sense. i wear flats, i lift weights. i think i like the contradiction of femininity and what is often seen as masculinity. it alters the way i'm treated slightly.
     
  15. Belly_Dancer

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    I've never felt particularly feminine, even though friends and lovers have told me I am very feminine in my movements and mannerisms. I have all the externals of a "girlie girl."

    And yet, when I was a pre-teen, I used to have doubts about whether I had been born biologically a female. These doubts were alleviated when I finally got my period.

    It wasn't that I was exclusively homosexual and worried for that reason. But I was always bisexual, and I did worry that my attraction to women lessened my femininity even more.

    These days, I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin. I know I look feminine on the outside, even if I don't feel particularly feminine on the inside.

    Is it important to me? I suppose I'd have to say yes. I want people to perceive me as feminine. It's part of the identity I project to the world.

    But I am convinced that as far as my past lives are concerned, I must have spent many more as a male than as a female. I don't have much other explanation for why I have always "felt" so much like a man.
     
  16. JackandKira

    JackandKira New Member

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    I hate the fact that I have hair growing on my chin, and I hate the fact the doctor said I may never have babies....

    I don't really like wearing makeup, i think it is a burden, but I like getting dressed up. I like pretty things...

    In a sexual manner, I prefer to keep my pelvis as hairy as it comes naturally. I had a brazilian done once and I didn't feel very feminine. My feeling is that being all hairy down there is a signal of my sexual maturity, and my need to have sexual intercourse.
     
  17. Patchos

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    Talking about femininity in this way, it's impossible not to see it as a feminist issue. Have you heard of the male gaze? We all do what we can to feel good about ourselves but we live in a patriarchal society that means conforming to certain ideals. But if you're reading Gloria Steinem, you're aware of all that anyway. Great quotes.
     
  18. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

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    Funny, I find flats make me more feminine. I feel like a beast in heels, being "too tall".

    Lifting weights gives me mixed feelings. I'm sure I don't look feminine at all at the gym, but doing it reminds me of what my female body can do. It alters the way you're treated probably because people will say that you can lift weights (for example) "in spite of" being a woman, instead of "because you are a woman".

    That's a pretty interesting thought, and definitely makes sense. What about your upbringing though?

    *raises hand* unaware, and would like to hear more! What's the "male gaze" and what does it have to do with our conforming?
     
  19. Bob Ross

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    Just to make a brief interlude: left out of the Gloria Steinham quotes was perhaps here most notable and popular: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"...
     
  20. Patchos

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    The male gaze is the idea that in our society the default viewer is male. In advertising especially but also movies and other media. From this Feminism 101 article http://tiny.cc/QGKet :

    "The male gaze in advertising is actually a fairly well-studied topic, and it — rather than film — is often what comes to mind when the term is invoked. This is because, more than just being an object of a gaze, the woman in the advertisement becomes what’s being bought and sold: “The message though was always the same: buy the product, get the girl; or buy the product to get to be like the girl so you can get your man” in other words, “‘Buy’ the image, ‘get’ the woman” (Wykes, p. 41). In this way, the male gaze enables women to be a commodity that helps the products to get sold (the “sex sells” adage that comes up whenever we talk about modern marketing). Even advertising aimed at women is not exempt: it engages in the mirror effect described above, wherein women are encouraged to view themselves as the photographer views the model, therefore buying the product in order to become more like the model advertising it.

    If you look at the image* at the top right of this post, you can see that the image being sold to men is that of an attractive woman (they are encouraged to look at her in the same way the men on the curb are) while the image being sold to women is that if they buy the product that they, too, can be the recipients of male attention. Thus the image being sold, for both men and women, quite literally becomes that of the male gaze."

    *Image is of a woman modelling on a catwalk, where several men are turning to watch her.
     
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