Questions for the women here.

[dolfette]

Perhaps. But on the flip side maybe she's wondering why the signals she is sending (tapping his cock and giggling) aren't being reciprocated. Maybe she just needs a little encouragement. If he frames it right, then there is very low risk of her getting up and leaving.

you mean you wouldn't leave.
but how many women would think it crass?
several in this thread alone!
so why risk it?

 

[WifeNeedsGurth]

No risk, no reward....Live on the edge a little

 

[dolfette]

 

[Wish-4-8]

Even I think its crass. But I see the point about context being everything.
The fact that the OP has to ask the question here, answers whether it would be crass in that context. He is not sure so chances are it would be. Better to be safe than sorry.

It seems to me that this couple has been to the edge under their own terms. But I see how someone who is in a relationship where the husband lets her have sex with other guys would roll their eyes at something as sensative as this. I am not being judgemental, its just that I guess people can forget how first timers are living on the edge under thier own terms. Her poking or tapping could be so risque to her.

Alright, here it comes... INCOMING!!!!

 

[voidout]

Even I think its crass. But I see the point about context being everything.
The fact that the OP has to ask the question here, answers whether it would be crass in that context. He is not sure so chances are it would be. Better to be safe than sorry.

It seems to me that this couple has been to the edge under their own terms. But I see how someone who is in a relationship where the husband lets her have sex with other guys would roll their eyes at something as sensative as this. I am not being judgemental, its just that I guess people can forget how first timers are living on the edge under thier own terms. Her poking or tapping could be so risque to her.

Alright, here it comes... INCOMING!!!!

exactly.

 

[WifeNeedsGurth]

Even I think its crass. But I see the point about context being everything.
The fact that the OP has to ask the question here, answers whether it would be crass in that context. He is not sure so chances are it would be. Better to be safe than sorry.

It seems to me that this couple has been to the edge under their own terms. But I see how someone who is in a relationship where the husband lets her have sex with other guys would roll their eyes at something as sensative as this. I am not being judgemental, its just that I guess people can forget how first timers are living on the edge under thier own terms. Her poking or tapping could be so risque to her.

Alright, here it comes... INCOMING!!!!

Point taken.

But I'm not rolling my eyes at the OP. Only he can judge whether or not he could create the right context in saying what I suggested. I still believe that done the right way under the right circumstances it can be a fun a flirty addition to their relationship.

I'm rolling my eyes at some of the other women here (and I am not flaming anyone, I am just being honest) that seem to take sex so damn seriously. It's supposed to be fun....whether you are "someone who is in a relationship where the husband lets her have sex with other guys" or if you are in a monogamous relationship.

 

[Wish-4-8]

Point taken.
I still believe that done the right way under the right circumstances it can be a fun a flirty addition to their relationship.

Maybe with enough alcohol. I am not joking. It worked for me in one case. :smile:

 

[WifeNeedsGurth]

Maybe with enough alcohol. I am not joking. It worked for me in one case. :smile:

Well tequila ALWAYS does seem to help, doesn't it? :biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[voidout]

yes, i do take sex seriously. it's not a light subject for me...that's besides the point, though.

just because someone treats sex differently than YOU, or doesn't agree on your advice, doesn't make it wrong or that we're taking it too seriously. we're just not blessed with your light-hearted approach, if that's how you'd like to look at it.

so keep rolling your eyes, and we'll keep rolling ours.

 

[dolfette]

I'm rolling my eyes at some of the other women here (and I am not flaming anyone, I am just being honest) that seem to take sex so damn seriously. It's supposed to be fun....whether you are "someone who is in a relationship where the husband lets her have sex with other guys" or if you are in a monogamous relationship.

i don't know if you noticed but the thread isn't about you and your attitude to sex.
this girl obviously does take it seriously or she wouldn't be asking for a go slow.
that he's asking means that not offending her is important to him.

some girls require more than two babychams and an invite to grope.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I say that her tapping your crotch is definitely a hint. Either that, or she's a massive tease... try asking her if she's ready to take it to the next level?

 

[WifeNeedsGurth]

Christina and dolfette,

I'm not looking to fight with you ladies. You don't have to get all pissy.

I'm not saying your opinion is wrong at all. I'm not judging you in the slightest. If having a serious attitude about sex is your thing, then more power too ya. I am just pointing out that in my experience, when I was able to let go of that "seriousness" and become blessed with my "light hearted approach" towards sex, that it became so much better. Freed from a puritanical society's beliefs of what sex should and should not be.

dolfette, if you haven't noticed, this is an open forum and the OP asked for advice. Because my advice doesn't mesh with yours doesn't mean that I think the thread is about me or my attitude about sex. Of course when expressing one's opinions, one's attitudes will become apparent. That's called "discussion" and backing up one's opinion based on experience. You seem to be personally offended that someone would have the nerve to actually disagree with you. If that's the case let me tell you, honey I'm going to give my opinion whenever I feel is warranted around here. So I will apologize in advance for all the times in the future that you are going to feel personally offended by my disagreement.

 

[Pitbull]

My goodness, you guys are kidding right?

They are making out...she regularly taps his crotch and giggles.

Asking her if she wants to touch it is not crass and certainly not cheesy porn, Christin....It's called "flirting" and "playing". It's a cock, it's not a piece radioactive nuclear waste. Lighten up, people.

:smile: I like to think mine is hot but "hot" in a radioactive sense
just hope it isn't considered waste

since when is flirting asking another person to touch their privates?

maybe after they have been tapping a crotch

they aren't lovers, that's the entire point...

They have been seeing each other for a month...they kiss, they hug and they spend the night together.

Starting to look a little bizarre to me

she could always think him crass and lacking in class, get her coat and leave ya know.

That could actually be a good thing

No risk, no reward....

AGREED!

yes, i do take sex seriously. it's not a light subject for me...

I am guessing you do not kiss, hug, sleep with and the like for over a month and engage in crotch tapping if you are not thinking about the possibility of going to the next level. Otherwise you are a tease or expect your men to have very low arousal ability

I say that her tapping your crotch is definitely a hint. Either that, or she's a massive tease...

BINGO!

Yes all you women are different.
That is what makes it so hard for us men.

Crass to ask?
Let me educate some of you.
This is how it happens with most straight men.
Hugging woman = Hard on
Kissing woman = Even harder hard on
Spending the night with above while keeping it zipped = Insanity with hard on - when can I jerk off if you are going to ignore it.
Tapping crotch = AT A MINIMUM - Some kind of verbal invitation will result.
This shit going on for a month? = Nice knowing you.
I'm a gentleman and will politely decline to engage further.
Some men are not and the situation can get ugly.
Doing such things to a man is more than teasing - it is playing with fire.
Anyone who teases an animal should not be shocked when they get bitten.

I can get hard by myself without the insanity and deprivation. Thank you very much.

To the OP - Say something!

 

[ManlyBanisters]

You don't have to get all pissy.

In fairness now advising them that they don't have to get pissy and then getting pissy is... well... pissy. This ain't a watersports thread :smile:

I get both points - I think what D and C eek:) might be saying is that a literal 'Do you want to touch it?' might well sound a bit 'Beavis and Butthead' to an awful lot of girls / women.

I also see that him using her tapping his crotch to try to move on to the next level might not be such a bad idea - as long as he backs off if she reacts negatively. A playful "he likes you" in response or a "if you get to touch mine do I get to touch yours", perhaps. Those could sound equally crass, if said the wrong way. I guess it is all in the situation.

 

[WifeNeedsGurth]

In fairness now advising them that they don't have to get pissy and then getting pissy is... well... pissy. This ain't a watersports thread :smile:

I get both points - I think what D and C eek:) might be saying is that a literal 'Do you want to touch it?' might well sound a bit 'Beavis and Butthead' to an awful lot of girls / women.

I also see that him using her tapping his crotch to try to move on to the next level might not be such a bad idea - as long as he backs off if she reacts negatively. A playful "he likes you" in response or a "if you get to touch mine do I get to touch yours", perhaps. Those could sound equally crass, if said the wrong way. I guess it is all in the situation.

Well I apologize for the "pissy" remark. As liberated as I believe myself to be...watersports is definitely not my thing.

I agree with everything else you say.

 

[voidout]

I am guessing you do not kiss, hug, sleep with and the like for over a month and engage in crotch tapping if you are not thinking about the possibility of going to the next level. Otherwise you are a tease or expect your men to have very low arousal ability

i already said she's a tease! holy fuck. i guess i ought to quote myself again in here since no one knows how to read.

 

[voidout]

i would be totally offended if someone said "do you want to touch it?"

get the fuck out of here. this isn't a cheesy porn. besides, i would take that as a lack of respect for me. which is the whole point here, no? to make sure she knows you're respecting her.

i think she's hinting because she's curious, but that doesn't mean she's ready.

some girls tease as a way of getting themselves off...know that you're hot for her, and that she can turn you on by just tapping you could be her way of getting a self esteem boost...

or perhaps, a guarantee that you'll be coming back...
women are jerky like that sometimes.

seeeeee??? all i said is that the literal like "do you want to touch it?" is fucking retarded.

this girl is NOT his lover, because i don't consider a month long relationship where they aren't doing anything physical with one another than making out, a "lover" relationship.

she obviously takes sex more seriously than you lot would, so all i'm saying is that you should take some sensitivity to the god damn subject. i never said NOT to say anything. just that asking if she wants to "touch it" might be the thing that turns her off from the situation instead of turning her ON to the situation.

god. the density sometimes.

 

[dolfette]

Christina and dolfette,

I'm not looking to fight with you ladies. You don't have to get all pissy.

dolfette, if you haven't noticed, this is an open forum and the OP asked for advice. Because my advice doesn't mesh with yours doesn't mean that I think the thread is about me or my attitude about sex. Of course when expressing one's opinions, one's attitudes will become apparent. That's called "discussion" and backing up one's opinion based on experience. You seem to be personally offended that someone would have the nerve to actually disagree with you. If that's the case let me tell you, honey I'm going to give my opinion whenever I feel is warranted around here. So I will apologize in advance for all the times in the future that you are going to feel personally offended by my disagreement.

ooo, look! pissy and whining!

 

[WifeNeedsGurth]

god. the density sometimes.

ooo, look! pissy and whining!

Wow, some serious harshness from you two. Methinks that you ladies may not be used to actually having someone disagree with you....and I think the way you both have reacted to that disagreement says a great deal about you.

Is this how you act in real life? Or is just a message board persona?

I don't think personal attacks make either of you look any smarter or cooler, or whatever it is you are going for. But if that's how you roll.....fine, I'll play.

 

[B_johnschlong]

I've been seeing this girl for a month and everything is going good. She says she wants to take things slow and I respect that. We kiss, hug, and spend the night together, but haven't gone any further than kissing. When we're together she'll tap me in the crotch and giggle about it and I'm getting really horny. I was wondering what you think about the situation. Should I try to take things further or respect her space untill she lets me know she's ready?

If she does not object to alcohol, just have a drink together, and maybe she may come forward more easily. An old trick. Just drug each other a bit. She may have some small constraints to sex, which may go away with a drink.