If I top and the bottoms cums and I am close too, I fuck on. If I know I take some more time, I ask what he wants - cause some like it to get fucked on, others (like me when bottoming) dont.
If my bottom cums I find that also very satisfying - hey, I and my dick made him too - so I don't have to shoot for myself in any case.
so if you cum - just cum ...
LOVE this attitude! You understand the open communication needed. It is refreshing to see a person who understands there are two people invlved in this scenario, and the pleasure of
both is paramount. And understanding it's not fun for everyone to keep getting fucked once they cum and that there are other ways to continue, well, that's the diff tween a great lover, and a dude who will
never get an invite to fuck me again...and possibly get a thraot punch for not listening to me.
I usually let him cum. I think I few times I've had to end early due to discomfort but I rarely cum while getting fucked. I usually jerk myself off after, our I don't cum. Getting fucked is good enough for ne
It takes me a long time to cum, on most days, whether I top or bottom. I do tend to be able to go longer as a bottom if I don't cum. This has fucked it up though for my current guy, who wants me to cum while getting fucked by him. See i have had those asshole ops who get pissed at me, and make me feel less than ("but I didn't get off, yet! I don't care that you will suck me off or need just a few, I want to cum now!") for not being able tp last as long as they needed me to to get off when they wanted to. So I think i purposely made myself almost, unable to cum, from getting fucked. For a while I wouldn't till they did, and then they were done, and that was that. Very unsatisfying, or at least not as satisfying as it could be. Sex doesn't hav to be abut the orgasm, and the journey is wonderful, but after a while, getting fucked with no O just sucks.
The guy I am seeing now is very conscientious, laid back and has and me feel comfortable enough to cum when I need to. If i cum before him, and need a break, no prob. If I don't cum he has learned not to take it personally (a lot of tops get sulky if you don't cum from them fucking you. WTF people make up your minds! If i cum from getting fucked I may have to stop for a bit and then you all get irritated about that!) Of course my guy knows that all i need usually is like 5 minutes, if that, and then he can plow away. And he can stay inside me, for the most part, till I am ready and do the whole "genital snuggling" thing RawDog talks about. If not, and i am too hypersensitive even for that, he knows I am more than happy to suck, stroke and otherwise to get him off (which he, loving BJ's, is just fine and dandy with, LOL)
I find this attitude that tops are Dildos with a flesh dummy attached such a turn off. I think that who is dominant and who is submissive and who has power and who doesn't is more complicated than who's sticking what into whom. TBH neither the top or the bottom are going to get off (satisfyingly) without the other. If a bottom cums before I do and then decides everything is done and I can like it or lump it I'd kick him out of bed and call up someone who actually gave a damn about whether or not I enjoyed having sex with them.
If I made a bottom feel uncomfortable (physically) by taking too long to cum from fucking him I'd expect him to say so and we could do something else.
It's about communication not making assumptions about power relationships and who's in charge, because you know, there's two of you in this and both of you want to have a good time and neither of you wants to feel used or physically uncomfortable or have a shit lay.
I'm a top and I normally take quite a long time to cum, but I've also had partners who took longer than I did, I've often continued fucking them after I came so they can have the orgasm they were looking for.
Also cumming from fucking isn't the be all and end all there are other ways to cum, and it's all about communication and fun and both of you wanting the other to have a good time.
If that's not there then I can't see the point in even having sex with the other person in the first place, you'd probably have as much fun having a wank and using toys or going to glory hole.
We are in agreement Mr. hilaire. As i said, if i just can't get fucked anymore at that point, it is
never a, "well i got mine, I'm done. Period," type of deal. He was nice enough to get me there. I can get him there by others means (my guy knows I will, and doesn't have to ask). Bj's, handjobs, footjobs, combos of those, a five minute break and then he can resume, or stay inside me and just enjoy as i cool off enough, before going full steam.
And like you, if it is too uncomfortable for me, he is more then happy to do other things. Never makes me feel bad about it. Cause just as I understand he is not a " Dildo with a flesh dummy attached", he understands that I am not a fleshlight with a flesh dummy attached. Like you, if he cums before me (which is still the norm for us) he will keep fucking me, as long as I am not uncomfortable and desire it, for as long as he can. He knows he can always stop though, and switch to fingers, mouth, whatever, to get me there. Sometimes he is a little to sensitive after he cums to have any stimulation on his cock. Other times he is fine to go again and get hard inside me and blow that second load. All depends. We check in with each other and make sure that we are both having a good time. Really not that hard to do.
Course if i don't cum from getting fucked or from fucking, that's ok too. He feels the same way. The ride is still pleasant, even if you miss your exit:biggrin1: