Questions from a male massage therapist

[simbablk]

I do therapeutic (i.e. non-sexual/non-erotic) deep tissue massage. Most of my clients have been gay males, primarily because I've been advertising on masseurfinder.com, which touts itself as a gay site. While my work is clearly non-sexual in nature, about 99% of my clients prefer not to use draping (as do I since I do a lot of full-body work, especially in the warm-up, where the draping would be in the way) and there is no shame when they pop a boner - pretty much everybody does at some point. I'm used to it and cool with it since my boundaries are clear and my gay clients know what they are and respect them.
I'm wanting to branch out some in my advertising, which would mean adding more straight male clients to the guys I work on. It would be really helpful to get a sense of the following from the straight guys here who get massage work from a guy.

1. Are you comfortable working without a sheet covering you up, especially when you're on your back. Would it feel cool if the therapist suggested foregoing the draping, or would this sound weird or suggestive?

2. If you've ever spontaneously gotten hard during a massage and, especially if you weren't draped, was there any weirdness, or was it cool since you were with a guy.

3. If you were looking for a therapeutic massage from a guy, how would you go about finding somebody? (In other words, any suggestions on where to advertise).

Thanks for your thoughts!

1. I am very comfortable without a sheet. He's giving a massage, nothing sexual about that.

2. No. When I get hard, it's because it feels good, not because he's hot.

3. I usually get massages by women. Only a handful of times by men.

 

[buzzrider7]

Thanks for the female perspective. I feel that working on women is an entirely (and much more delicate) situation, where as you highlighted, the boundaries need to be strictly followed all the time. For example, never in a million years would I suggest to a female client the option of not using draping, but I'm totally comfortable giving that option to male clients if they want. Interesting.

Any professional, ethical therapist will not be checking out or hitting on clients.

I do get work from male therapists. Usually therapists I know well, and respect intellectually. If you think like me, you will probably build a session like I do, and that's as close as I'll ever get to experiencing my own touch.
I'm blessed, far beyond lucky, to work with three fabulous male therapists who do incredible work and listen when I say I'm wimping out on pain.

The one male who made me uncomfortable got an earful about being creepy and how lucky he was that I wasn't taking it to CAMTC or the cops. He violated several boundaries. I told him to leave the profession.
He left our clinic.

 

[buzzrider7]

Thanks for the feedback. You sound super chill and comfortable in your own skin - definitely the kind of attitude I'd welcome. Much appreciated!

1. I am very comfortable without a sheet. He's giving a massage, nothing sexual about that.

2. No. When I get hard, it's because it feels good, not because he's hot.

3. I usually get massages by women. Only a handful of times by men.

 

[simbablk]

Thanks for the feedback. You sound super chill and comfortable in your own skin - definitely the kind of attitude I'd welcome. Much appreciated!

I am comfortable in my skin. There are times when it's sexual and when it's not. Getting a massage is not sexual. I might get hard and might not. I'm just wanting a massage. You should like a cool therapist that I'd see. Take care.

 

[Brisler]

This is so dumb that I doubt it's even serious. Of course you shouldn't suggest that your clients be nude and uncovered before a massage. Are you really serious about this question? What's there to gain from asking?

And male massage therapists being nude while performing legitimate therapeutic messages... Is that really a thing? Why the hell does that exist? I couldn't imagine a more awkward thing.

I'm shocked at how often it strikes me that so many people on this forum live in a completely different world than me.

 

[meatal_head]

I wondered about this too. I have never had a massage and I think local laws may limit it to same sex. I'd be OK

This is so dumb that I doubt it's even serious. Of course you shouldn't suggest that your clients be nude and uncovered before a massage. Are you really serious about this question? What's there to gain from asking?

And male massage therapists being nude while performing legitimate therapeutic messages... Is that really a thing? Why the hell does that exist? I couldn't imagine a more awkward thing.

I'm shocked at how often it strikes me that so many people on this forum live in a completely different world than me.

Never had a legit massage. I think state or local laws requires same sex massage or at least it used to. I would be fine going nude, I can;'t imagine the other guy being nude too but if he wanted to I probably wouldn't care. It might even make it more comfortable.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Thanks for the female perspective. I feel that working on women is an entirely (and much more delicate) situation, where as you highlighted, the boundaries need to be strictly followed all the time. For example, never in a million years would I suggest to a female client the option of not using draping, but I'm totally comfortable giving that option to male clients if they want. Interesting.

I think it's absurdly heteronormative to assume only females would note boundary issues by a therapist.
I've had females run over typical boundaries (we get externs from the larger schools working on the therapists for practice and feedback) because "we are both women."
Sorry. That doesn't fly.
Every client deserves a safe secure space for healing, every time, no matter what's between anybody's legs or gender identity.

Also, in the new CA law, draping is required. Think no cracks.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

^^ I'm not saying you are being dense, I'm kind of ranting in general, Buzz.

 

[buzzrider7]

I wasn't implying that only females would note boundary issues. I was saying that males (especially gay ones) tend to be a lot less concerned about needing to be draped (though this is not always the case, which is why I started this thread in the first place - to hear different perspectives on what straight males think about this).

I think it's absurdly heteronormative to assume only females would note boundary issues by a therapist.
I've had females run over typical boundaries (we get externs from the larger schools working on the therapists for practice and feedback) because "we are both women."
Sorry. That doesn't fly.
Every client deserves a safe secure space for healing, every time, no matter what's between anybody's legs or gender identity.

Also, in the new CA law, draping is required. Think no cracks.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

My fellow students who were gay males were the best with draping.

 

[meatal_head]

My fellow students who were gay males were the best with draping.

So gay guys like to stay draped? I can't see staying under the sheet massaged by anyone male or female. If they are naked too it would just be a bonus to me.

 

[Markym01]

1. Are you comfortable working without a sheet covering you up, especially when you're on your back. Would it feel cool if the therapist suggested foregoing the draping, or would this sound weird or suggestive? I am comfortable without a draping if the room is warm, I had a massage once where the therapist used draping and when I turned over did not redrape and the room was a bit cold which made it a little uncomfortable. I'm not sure asking if it's ok to disregard draping is cool but rather if you choose not to redrape ask if the client is comfortable.

2. If you've ever spontaneously gotten hard during a massage and, especially if you weren't draped, was there any weirdness, or was it cool since you were with a guy. I did get hard and was not draped I did feel awkward at first but since my therapist did not make mention of it the uncomfortableness went away, my erection would come and go during the massage when the works was away from my thighs or abdomen my erection would go down and when he got to tones areas it would return.

3. If you were looking for a therapeutic massage from a guy, how would you go about finding somebody? (In other words, any suggestions on where to advertise). I went online and searched yellow ages for male massage therapist in my area and just chose one, I refer a male for a couple reasons, 1) I like stronger hands for my massage and in my option dudes have stronger hands. 2) I would feel more awkward getting an erection if I was being massaged by a female. And get to an erection with a femal massage therapist could seem like a sexual advance and I don't feel that way with a male therapist.

 

[buzzrider7]

1. Are you comfortable working without a sheet covering you up, especially when you're on your back. Would it feel cool if the therapist suggested foregoing the draping, or would this sound weird or suggestive? I am comfortable without a draping if the room is warm, I had a massage once where the therapist used draping and when I turned over did not redrape and the room was a bit cold which made it a little uncomfortable. I'm not sure asking if it's ok to disregard draping is cool but rather if you choose not to redrape ask if the client is comfortable.

2. If you've ever spontaneously gotten hard during a massage and, especially if you weren't draped, was there any weirdness, or was it cool since you were with a guy. I did get hard and was not draped I did feel awkward at first but since my therapist did not make mention of it the uncomfortableness went away, my erection would come and go during the massage when the works was away from my thighs or abdomen my erection would go down and when he got to tones areas it would return.

3. If you were looking for a therapeutic massage from a guy, how would you go about finding somebody? (In other words, any suggestions on where to advertise). I went online and searched yellow ages for male massage therapist in my area and just chose one, I refer a male for a couple reasons, 1) I like stronger hands for my massage and in my option dudes have stronger hands. 2) I would feel more awkward getting an erection if I was being massaged by a female. And get to an erection with a femal massage therapist could seem like a sexual advance and I don't feel that way with a male therapist.

Thanks for such a thorough reply. It's awesome to know that there are so many laid-back guys out there who feel comfortable getting worked on by another guy. I appreciate your great suggestions as well. Thanks!!

 

[Scarletbegonia]

So gay guys like to stay draped? I can't see staying under the sheet massaged by anyone male or female. If they are naked too it would just be a bonus to me.

The gay males were the most respectful of my boundaries.
well, all but one, but he was a jerk to everyone. He really needed to be at Body Electric.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Buzz, I missed the how to advertise bit.

Who are your target clientele? What are their needs? What social media do they use?
I've left cards at health food stores, gyms, medical/dental offices (for the employees).
Right now, I'm word-of-mouth, as I'm in an employee situation as well as running my own business. I'm trying to be careful to not over do it. As I sit here with ice on my shoulder.

 

[Markym01]

Thanks for such a thorough reply. It's awesome to know that there are so many laid-back guys out there who feel comfortable getting worked on by another guy. I appreciate your great suggestions as well. Thanks!!

Welcome sorry bout the typos dam autocorrect lol I should have proof read lol

 

[buzzrider7]

Buzz, I missed the how to advertise bit.

Who are your target clientele? What are their needs? What social media do they use?
I've left cards at health food stores, gyms, medical/dental offices (for the employees).
Right now, I'm word-of-mouth, as I'm in an employee situation as well as running my own business. I'm trying to be careful to not over do it. As I sit here with ice on my shoulder.

Thanks for the suggestions! I'm mostly targeting people who are trying to get the most out of their bodies physically, challenging themselves in exploring their passions. Since posting, I've been networking with personal trainers and am now nearly at capacity thanks to all their referrals.
I know what you mean about overdoing it. Good luck with the shoulder!

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Sweet! Are you in SF or just Bay Area? I practice in Alameda and Oakland.

 

[buzzrider7]

Sweet! Are you in SF or just Bay Area? I practice in Alameda and Oakland.

I'm in SF.

 

[batnballs67]

I've seen both male and female therapists. Most have been female. All but one told me to disrobe to my level of comfort (naked for me) and the other one requested I keep my underwear on. My suggestion is to make the same suggestion about disrobing to their level of comfort and let them know that above or below the drape can be done as they prefer. Naked and on top of the sheet would be my personal preference, but would also depend on my comfort with the therapist. I'd be naked under the drape if I was at all uncomfortable.

I got hard during all massages, but it wasn't a sexual thing. Work on my legs after running a marathon was definitely painful at times, but I was in semi and fully hard states multiple times. No comments made by anyone.

Sounds like you have referrals coming in. Personal trainers should be a great source. Along that same line, I was going to suggest health clubs and gyms may allow you to post your contact information.