This made me laugh so I thought I would share, these are real answers from British TV and Radio shows UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name? Contestant: Goosey, Goosey? THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: Bombay. Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Anne Robinson: Wh...? Contestant (interrupting): Pass! Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? Contestant: (long pause) Joe? Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral? Contestant: Geronimo! NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? Contestant: William Shakespeare. CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er... Mexico? RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2 Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? Contestant: India. Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? Contestant: Espresso. Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. Contestant: Sydney. THIS MORNING Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false? Contestant: True? Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that. BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? Contestant: Four BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er... Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run... Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I... Contestant: Walked? DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No.