racism and dating.need some advice

mista geechee

Experimental Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2005
Posts
1,076
Media
1
Likes
12
Points
183
Location
charleston, south carolina
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
i am a 19 year old black male. i live in cahrleston south carolina so the race lines are drawn pretty clear around here. anyway i just started goin to trident to take business classes before i transfer to a real college and i met this girl. we been dating for a while. she's the shit. i cant stop thinking about her. but one thing, she's white. that shit dont fly with too many people around here. but all the black girls i dated seem immature and complacent. not to interested in somebody whose actually ambitious and way to materialistic. all my childhood friends seem to still be in their childhood, going to jail and sellin dope and shit. i've already been through all that and learned my lesson, jail isnt fun(i still smoke a lil weed here and there though but thats it). but me and this girl (white) i've been dating for the last 4 months have everything in common. plus every black girl i've ever had sex with is excited when they feel my dick in my pants. but once we're naked and they realize i'm uncircumcised the shit hits the fan. half of them say "hell no" and the rest were hesitant. but tis girl doensnt even care. she's just happy that its 10 inches and takes me forever to bust.and when we have sex the contrast from my brown skin to her milky skin turns me on so much. and she aint scared to put it in her mouth. noone in my family knows this,especially my grandma(whose brother was hung when she was growing up in teh 40's) and grandaddy who arent to fond of white people. and i dont know wat my momma would say. and i cant EVEN IMAGINE wat HER parents would say but i'm in love. when we go out in public we get funny looks sometimes but noone really says anything but honestly i dont really care if they do.

i wanna be open with my family and friends about this but i dont wanna feel uncomfortable in my own hometown. and eventually i'm gonna have to meet here family. wat should i do?
 
  • Like
Reactions: smallermale

Quite Irate

Sexy Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2007
Posts
701
Media
34
Likes
26
Points
248
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
i am a 19 year old black male. i live in cahrleston south carolina so the race lines are drawn pretty clear around here. anyway i just started goin to trident to take business classes before i transfer to a real college and i met this girl. we been dating for a while. she's the shit. i cant stop thinking about her. but one thing, she's white. that shit dont fly with too many people around here. but all the black girls i dated seem immature and complacent. not to interested in somebody whose actually ambitious and way to materialistic. all my childhood friends seem to still be in their childhood, going to jail and sellin dope and shit. i've already been through all that and learned my lesson, jail isnt fun(i still smoke a lil weed here and there though but thats it). but me and this girl (white) i've been dating for the last 4 months have everything in common. plus every black girl i've ever had sex with is excited when they feel my dick in my pants. but once we're naked and they realize i'm uncircumcised the shit hits the fan. half of them say "hell no" and the rest were hesitant. but tis girl doensnt even care. she's just happy that its 10 inches and takes me forever to bust.and when we have sex the contrast from my brown skin to her milky skin turns me on so much. and she aint scared to put it in her mouth. noone in my family knows this,especially my grandma(whose brother was hung when she was growing up in teh 40's) and grandaddy who arent to fond of white people. and i dont know wat my momma would say. and i cant EVEN IMAGINE wat HER parents would say but i'm in love. when we go out in public we get funny looks sometimes but noone really says anything but honestly i dont really care if they do.

i wanna be open with my family and friends about this but i dont wanna feel uncomfortable in my own hometown. and eventually i'm gonna have to meet here family. wat should i do?
There's this term in acting called "blacking up"... :p
You're in a squeeze. Best advice - be brutally honest. Skirting the issue will get you nowhere. If you come off strong you'll get less resistance.
 

Principessa

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
Posts
18,660
Media
0
Likes
138
Points
193
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
That's a tough one. Short of moving north of Delaware or out to California I have no idea what to tell you. :redface:
 

D_Ivana Dickenside

Sexy Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Posts
4,780
Media
0
Likes
31
Points
123
as long as you are happy with your girlfriend, that's all that matters. people need to get with the times and accept that this is the 21st century! i understand that it can be very racially segregated in the south, but interracial dating is all around us and there's nothing that will prevent it from happening! you should definitely tell your family and friends about this girl, even if they look down on you for dating outside of your race. it's your life. live by your own rules. the judgments and prejudices made by others won't bring you down, it'll only make you stronger.
 
  • Like
Reactions: smallermale

nubian

Sexy Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Posts
1,100
Media
1
Likes
59
Points
233
Location
Washington (Washington, D.C., United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
I am also a black guy living in the south, so I understand your pain. Racism is still just as alive and well here as it was 40 years ago. I would encourage you to be careful, but also not be afraid to share the truth about your relationship, because love isnt something you have to hide.
 

Damian Johnson

Sexy Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2007
Posts
939
Media
0
Likes
51
Points
103
Location
Clerkenwell, London
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
Dude a relationship is all about how the other person makes u feel. Its not about the colour of their skin their wealth or status in society. Also its u that are having the relationship. Not your family your friends or your neighbours. Yes its tricky for you but if she makes u feel good stick with it and if its meant to be it will last.
I'm speaking from experience in being in a mixed race relationship. Fuck em if they don't like it is my advice xx
 

lttlgrllst

Experimental Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2008
Posts
556
Media
0
Likes
6
Points
103
Sexuality
No Response
What a shame that in this day and age you should have to be concerned about this at all.
I don't have any good advice just wanted to say good luck and take care.
 

NCbear

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2006
Posts
1,978
Media
0
Likes
2,622
Points
343
Location
Greensboro (North Carolina, United States)
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
This most recent relationship is the first time I've dated a guy whose skin color is anywhere near mine, and he's Hispanic.

The longest relationship of my life (12 years) was with a man who's Black and Cherokee.

What helped me was learning to ignore the stares and walk around with my head held high.

Also, "normal" is in the eye of the beholder? No, it's in your own perspective. If you show in all manner of nonverbal ways that you feel your relationship with someone of a different color is normal for the two of you, then most people will respond accordingly.

NCbear (who knows that South Carolina is a different world, but who also knows that this is 2008 and some things have changed--or else they'll have to change)
 

invisibleman

Loved Member
Joined
Oct 10, 2005
Posts
9,816
Media
0
Likes
507
Points
303
Location
North Carolina
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
i am a 19 year old black male. i live in cahrleston south carolina so the race lines are drawn pretty clear around here. anyway i just started goin to trident to take business classes before i transfer to a real college and i met this girl. we been dating for a while. she's the shit. i cant stop thinking about her. but one thing, she's white. that shit dont fly with too many people around here. but all the black girls i dated seem immature and complacent. not to interested in somebody whose actually ambitious and way to materialistic. all my childhood friends seem to still be in their childhood, going to jail and sellin dope and shit. i've already been through all that and learned my lesson, jail isnt fun(i still smoke a lil weed here and there though but thats it). but me and this girl (white) i've been dating for the last 4 months have everything in common. plus every black girl i've ever had sex with is excited when they feel my dick in my pants. but once we're naked and they realize i'm uncircumcised the shit hits the fan. half of them say "hell no" and the rest were hesitant. but tis girl doensnt even care. she's just happy that its 10 inches and takes me forever to bust.and when we have sex the contrast from my brown skin to her milky skin turns me on so much. and she aint scared to put it in her mouth. noone in my family knows this,especially my grandma(whose brother was hung when she was growing up in teh 40's) and grandaddy who arent to fond of white people. and i dont know wat my momma would say. and i cant EVEN IMAGINE wat HER parents would say but i'm in love. when we go out in public we get funny looks sometimes but noone really says anything but honestly i dont really care if they do.

i wanna be open with my family and friends about this but i dont wanna feel uncomfortable in my own hometown. and eventually i'm gonna have to meet here family. wat should i do?

You know your family aren't accepting of white people. A given. You know you are going to feel uncomfortable with the local hoodies. Another given. Plan on how to properly deal with their issues. Don't ever think that you are going to change their minds. You won't.

You have found a soulmate. And are you going to let the hoodies and your family mess with that?
 

Guinea Pig

Sexy Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2008
Posts
96
Media
6
Likes
45
Points
103
Location
Adelaide, Sth Australia
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I cant stand any form of prejudice. I find it hard to accept that in America there is such tension.

Prejudice comes in many forms, ( being gay - for me, etc )

If you truly believe in what you are doing is right & pure & true, make a stand. You know, you are probably not the only person in your area going through the same thing.

I used to think I was the only gay person in Australia when I was your age.

My family have learnt to accept - they might not condone.

Those who stick by you are truly your friends, those who dont stick by you, do you really need their praise?

Good luck & be true to your heart, & dont bow down to pressure of the mob.

All the best from Down Under.
 

mista geechee

Experimental Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2005
Posts
1,076
Media
1
Likes
12
Points
183
Location
charleston, south carolina
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
yea yall are right. now i just gotta figure out how to spring it on my family. my sister prolly wont even care and my cousins (most of them atleast) wont care either but its the older ones. i wonder wat i should say