racism and dating.need some advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by mista geechee, Mar 16, 2008.

  1. mista geechee

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    i am a 19 year old black male. i live in cahrleston south carolina so the race lines are drawn pretty clear around here. anyway i just started goin to trident to take business classes before i transfer to a real college and i met this girl. we been dating for a while. she's the shit. i cant stop thinking about her. but one thing, she's white. that shit dont fly with too many people around here. but all the black girls i dated seem immature and complacent. not to interested in somebody whose actually ambitious and way to materialistic. all my childhood friends seem to still be in their childhood, going to jail and sellin dope and shit. i've already been through all that and learned my lesson, jail isnt fun(i still smoke a lil weed here and there though but thats it). but me and this girl (white) i've been dating for the last 4 months have everything in common. plus every black girl i've ever had sex with is excited when they feel my dick in my pants. but once we're naked and they realize i'm uncircumcised the shit hits the fan. half of them say "hell no" and the rest were hesitant. but tis girl doensnt even care. she's just happy that its 10 inches and takes me forever to bust.and when we have sex the contrast from my brown skin to her milky skin turns me on so much. and she aint scared to put it in her mouth. noone in my family knows this,especially my grandma(whose brother was hung when she was growing up in teh 40's) and grandaddy who arent to fond of white people. and i dont know wat my momma would say. and i cant EVEN IMAGINE wat HER parents would say but i'm in love. when we go out in public we get funny looks sometimes but noone really says anything but honestly i dont really care if they do.

    i wanna be open with my family and friends about this but i dont wanna feel uncomfortable in my own hometown. and eventually i'm gonna have to meet here family. wat should i do?
     
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  2. Quite Irate

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    There's this term in acting called "blacking up"... :p
    You're in a squeeze. Best advice - be brutally honest. Skirting the issue will get you nowhere. If you come off strong you'll get less resistance.
     
  3. Principessa

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    That's a tough one. Short of moving north of Delaware or out to California I have no idea what to tell you. :redface:
     
  4. mista geechee

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    wat is "blacking up" ?
     
  5. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    as long as you are happy with your girlfriend, that's all that matters. people need to get with the times and accept that this is the 21st century! i understand that it can be very racially segregated in the south, but interracial dating is all around us and there's nothing that will prevent it from happening! you should definitely tell your family and friends about this girl, even if they look down on you for dating outside of your race. it's your life. live by your own rules. the judgments and prejudices made by others won't bring you down, it'll only make you stronger.
     
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  6. Quite Irate

    Quite Irate Member

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  7. nubian

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    I am also a black guy living in the south, so I understand your pain. Racism is still just as alive and well here as it was 40 years ago. I would encourage you to be careful, but also not be afraid to share the truth about your relationship, because love isnt something you have to hide.
     
  8. Damian Johnson

    Damian Johnson New Member

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    Dude a relationship is all about how the other person makes u feel. Its not about the colour of their skin their wealth or status in society. Also its u that are having the relationship. Not your family your friends or your neighbours. Yes its tricky for you but if she makes u feel good stick with it and if its meant to be it will last.
    I'm speaking from experience in being in a mixed race relationship. Fuck em if they don't like it is my advice xx
     
  9. Supersized

    Supersized New Member

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    Try telling everyone. See what happens. DO your best to make it work. Just make sure you dont ge hung or something southern like that.
     
  10. Gonzo3

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    World wide dudes ,world wide
    ....Good luck dude.
     
  11. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Try bringing her around and telling your parents that you are working on a school project, see how they react, then go from there?
     
  12. Dave NoCal

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    What NJQT said, except that SOUTH (ie. Miami area) Florida might work.
    Haivng moved from central FLorida to California about six years ago, I can say it is REALLY different out here, much more accepting of individual choices.
    Dave
     
  13. hypoc8

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    Anything goes in California.
     
  14. lttlgrllst

    lttlgrllst New Member

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    What a shame that in this day and age you should have to be concerned about this at all.
    I don't have any good advice just wanted to say good luck and take care.
     
  15. NCbear

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    This most recent relationship is the first time I've dated a guy whose skin color is anywhere near mine, and he's Hispanic.

    The longest relationship of my life (12 years) was with a man who's Black and Cherokee.

    What helped me was learning to ignore the stares and walk around with my head held high.

    Also, "normal" is in the eye of the beholder? No, it's in your own perspective. If you show in all manner of nonverbal ways that you feel your relationship with someone of a different color is normal for the two of you, then most people will respond accordingly.

    NCbear (who knows that South Carolina is a different world, but who also knows that this is 2008 and some things have changed--or else they'll have to change)
     
  16. invisibleman

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    You know your family aren't accepting of white people. A given. You know you are going to feel uncomfortable with the local hoodies. Another given. Plan on how to properly deal with their issues. Don't ever think that you are going to change their minds. You won't.

    You have found a soulmate. And are you going to let the hoodies and your family mess with that?
     
  17. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    yep, it's true... nothing is too weird or out of line for us californians, like myself :cool:
     
  18. Guinea Pig

    Guinea Pig New Member

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    I cant stand any form of prejudice. I find it hard to accept that in America there is such tension.

    Prejudice comes in many forms, ( being gay - for me, etc )

    If you truly believe in what you are doing is right & pure & true, make a stand. You know, you are probably not the only person in your area going through the same thing.

    I used to think I was the only gay person in Australia when I was your age.

    My family have learnt to accept - they might not condone.

    Those who stick by you are truly your friends, those who dont stick by you, do you really need their praise?

    Good luck & be true to your heart, & dont bow down to pressure of the mob.

    All the best from Down Under.
     
  19. mrpond

    mrpond New Member

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    your damn if you do and your damn if you dont....so go for it
     
  20. mista geechee

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    yea yall are right. now i just gotta figure out how to spring it on my family. my sister prolly wont even care and my cousins (most of them atleast) wont care either but its the older ones. i wonder wat i should say
     
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