Racism or Sexual preference

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by black_hung, Feb 20, 2005.

  1. black_hung

    black_hung Member

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    I've signed up for a couple of gay dating sites. On these sites some white guys have put that they don't fuck with black or asian guys. As a black guy I don't have a problem with that( they miss out on my big black dick). Discussing this with a friend, he said this was blatent racism. My view is that there should be no political correctness in sex. No one can control who they are attracted to. If someone from a particular ethnic group does not fuck with a certain race that is their choice. Also, asian guys tend to only go with white guys, sometimes their own, rarely black guys.
     
  2. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Maybe the guys should have worded it as a preference...I personally have dated all types...I mean I usually prefer minority girls...But don't get me wrong - I don't discriminate - there have been several blonds thrown in the mix...
     
  3. alpinepaul

    alpinepaul New Member

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    racism is "generalization on a particular group (which in fact does not exist before the name is generated) as if all members are totally the same with no individual distinctions".
    so as long as one does not know every member of the group he denies --> this is racism.
     
  4. txquis

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    I do not think it is racism.
    I think it is a preference.

    I have never ruled out anyone based on race, but i *do* have certain preferences.
    I think that is normal.
     
  5. BobLeeSwagger

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    I think that much of the time it is a matter of preference. It could be that the person wasn't raised around a certain ethnic group and has a hard time relating to them. Or could be more socioeconomic, for example, an upper middle class white person has a vastly different background from a latino or black person that grew up in an inner-city community. It doesn't mean they can't get along, just that it's much less likely that they will have a special connection. The fact is that the overwhelming majority of relationships are between people of the same race/ethnicity. That doesn't mean that all or even most of those people are racist, just that it's who they gravitated to.

    On the other hand, I've seen examples where someone had a bad experience dating someone of a certain race and swore off them from them on. I know of a white guy that decided his black ex-girlfriend was too controlling and high-maintenance, and decided he wouldn't date black women any more because of it. I'm not sure if that's racism on his part or faulty logic. The same kind of illogical leap could be made after dating someone much older too. Or dating a cop or a doctor.

    My personal feeling is that I have found attractive women of just about every racial or ethnic background. And considering how hard it is to meet someone I really connect with, I'd hate to limit my dating pool for unnecessary reasons.
     
  6. surferboy

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    You think it's racism? It's totally a preference brah! Just like when it comes to guys, I don't like the queens, and when it comes to girls I don't like stuck up bitches. It's a preference.
     
  7. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    It would be racist only if it carried the implication that black or Asian men were somehow inferior. You made no indication that this was the case. The men who placed these ads did not express hatred or contempt for those of other races; they were simply stating that they are not sexually atrracted to those of other races. That's fine. I see that on a par with my sexuality: I don't hate women or view them as somehow inferior to men, but I'm just not sexually attracted to them.
     
  8. dcwrestlefan

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    if its just a preference, its not racism. like, if i could build the perfect guy, he would have black hair and ice blue eyes. are others lesser people? not at all. its just my favorite look.

    if the ad were worded something like "dont respond if you are (insert race),
    because i hate you people", then thats racist.
     
  9. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    I really don't see it as racism unless they are calling them derogatory names or as others have said, calling them inferior. Otherwise, don't take it like an offense, but it's just thier preference. It's understandable, as we all have our preferences!
     
  10. SomeGuyOverThere

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    Personally i think it would only be racism it they said "I dont want to have sex with a Black guy because he is.... *insert slander here*

    Other than that, I think its just preference of which race you sleep with.
     
  11. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

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    I think it's just a preference...

    personally, I'm not into black guys... It's not racism... I have no problem with inter-racial relations (my sister was married to a black guy)... My dad disowned my sister when she married her husband (don't know if they're still together, though)... That was a matter of racism... Her husband was a good guy, but I couldn't see the attraction (in other words, I didn't find him attractive in any way)...

    Another thing that comes in to play is how a person was raised... I was raised in Louisiana, and most of the black guys I have known (except one, that is) are generally not the type of guy I'd date... I've met one black guy in my life that I would have been interested in getting to know better, had he not been dating a friend of mine, but that's a different story...

    I've seen some good looking black guys, I'm just more physically attracted to white guys...
     
  12. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    My aunt's husband is black, and they are two of the nicest people in my family (which is saying a LOT) the only person who had a real problem with it was father dearest. I dunno why people are racist, seriously, it's stupid. People should stop slandering, and accept others. Preferences are fine. Hurtful insults aren't.
     
  13. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    I'm find most women attractive. Like I said to a mate, when it comes down to it you really would shag almost anyone, the vast majority of girls are very nice ;) I just find that the really knockout attractive girls tend to be stuck up their own arses (aka pompous, full of themselves)...Lots of Asian and black girls I like, more white though but hey I'm not picky.
     
  14. Altairion

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    I'm more into white girls, but thats probably because I grew up in a suburban area without much variety in races. Also, I'm in the middle of nebraska where its predominantly white anyway. Given the right person, it wouldn't matter their race, etc., but the geography doesn't give me much of a chance to branch out.
     
  15. naughty

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    Hi,

    I really didnt want to reply to this thread but I feel I need to do so. This thread is about racism vs preference. What creates preference is complicated and multifaceted. I fully agree that on a very basic level there are attractive people and there are unattractive people.But what or who tells us what or who that is? Our environment, our experiences. and the comfort level do. I think that most people are probably more comfortable with people like themselves. Racism does not have to be uttered to exist, it can manifest itself as early as kindergarten when one child doesnt want to take the hand of another becasue there are afraid that the darkness of the other child's hand rubbing off on them. This visceral reaction has been taught us. Even in mixed relationships children quickly see which side receives the power or preference. If there is confusion it is usually because they dont understand why they who may look almost or as white as any white person have received less that cordial reaction. OR why they are despised by black children who perceive that they may have preference that they themselves will and do not receive. As far as other ethnicities and black . everyone learns very quickly where the power lies and they align themselves with it. I hope that the things thatI have said do not offend or upset.In ways they may seem over simplistic as well but this really is the tip of the iceberg in terms of how I feel about this subject. I can not really say too much more because this whole topic upsets me greatly. We talk a good game but in many cases it is talk.I would have to say that change is occuring but there is still much to be done.

    Naughty
     
  16. lksbigone

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    Yes, to express such a "preference" is racist. But so what? Racism isn't any bigger sin than any other form of prejudice. If someone were to state their "preference" was for people under a specific age or weight or height that would only indicate that they wish to eliminate folks on some random non-personal basis. That's what prejudice is, deciding would what like or dislike without dealing on a personal level. Prejudice can be useful and efficient if you don't have the time or inclination to deal with people as individuals. Only problem is there's a large number "false negatives"---i.e. worthwhile people who are thrown out with the trash.

    IMHO, too much time is spent on racist. They are small people with very limited scope (my their own choice) to their intellect and humanity. And besides they all have small dicks regardless of their race!
     
  17. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Your view isn't offensive at all, Naughty. It seems rather well-informed and consciously critical, and that is a gift I wish I could give to people who were on the opposite side of the color line from me sometimes.

    Preference sounds like a questionably informed choice of one thing over something else. This can be really generalized -- I prefer green beans to brussel sprouts -- or it could be socially and culturally specific -- I prefer to date people of my own race (heh) than another race. While a vegetable choice may simply be an issue of tongue and taste, a preference to date solely within, beyond, or in between the races is much more culturally faceted, socially sanctioned, and hierarchically controlled than we think. You get it in our excuses. Some people are more blunt about it -- "no blacks, asians" -- and some are conscious of it but cannot really explain it away -- "It's just what I'm into."

    For instance, let's say I log into a chat room under the purpose of scoring a hookup. I type in my name, my age, my vital statistics, maybe my dick size -- no picture, no identifiable or ambiguously identifiable race information. So, someone sends a message and we start chatting away, and everything seems all peachy keen. And then the question comes up, "u blk, wht, or asian?"

    Nail in the coffin. Maybe. The thing is, unless a person were explicitly stating that they like a little coffee in their cream, a person could answer that question "white" and face no consequence. Answer anything else, however, and... the conversation might stop dead in its tracks. A blunt person may dismiss himself, saying that he's not attracted to blacks/you're not the type. A less-blunt person may just pray that you'll close the chat window.

    But, really... if up until that dreaded question, the conversation seemed perfectly keen and there was quite the exchange of chemistry -- if not, sexual innuendo -- then how might you expect that person to feel? Frustrated? Embarrassed? Uncomfortable? Or downright ashamed? Seriously. Consider that.

    And there's nothing wrong with being able to brush that off -- not giving a damn. But hey, not everyone is as blessed as that indifferent person. Because it appears that our race -- something beyond our control -- was something that turned someone away, we feel cheated.

    Preferences aside, this is the real emotional meat of the issue. I think that white people are much less likely to encounter someone who will refuse them on the terms of their race. And why would we? If you don't believe the beauty myth, then take a look at your local personals and note how many more people specify a preference for whites and Latinos than blacks and asians. And for what reason? Coffee and cream metaphors notwithstanding, dark meat is a good thing because it's symbolically savage, powerful, raunchy, and what not. Nothin' says ooh la la like a hard and powerful brother taking full charge, talking nasty, and showing you the heat of his passion. Funny. White guys don't seem really as appropriate in the savannah, clad in leopard print garb or plaits or corn rows. Fabio might have pulled it off, but I wasn't falling for it anyway.

    So, that said -- whites may be your run-of-the-mill source of attraction unless you need that occasional bit of color to spice up their sex lives, whether we're assuming that the brother on the end of the line is 10" or bigger. And that's what we're good for. A spice to satisfy YOUR sexual needs. That doesn't make us any more important, valid, or worthy of individual attention despite your need to satisfy a fantasy.

    And what to make of white folks who will only date the brothers?

    This is all so complicated, and there are as many reasons as there are people at times.

    But in the end, I'd have to disagree with people like lksbigone who try to dismiss racist charges altogether. And I'd have to disagree with comparisons to other fields of self-identity like sexual orientation. Liking a man because he is a man is a product of your individual makeup, your being; liking a white man because of his shade is much more a social and cultural construct. But, alas, I don't have any more answers than that.

    Even for guys like myself who have a rather ambiguous racial identity, oh, how in this one sense we could aspire to be something paler and more commonplace. Because, in this new frame, as we approach people of the strange whiteness, we, in turn, won't appear strange to them. We will be as they are. Pale. Without question. Unlike this brush of shade that gives you room to question, to assume, and to exoticize without my permission.
     
  18. Imported

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    joe22xxx:
    I hate to be so flip, but I'd rather just eroticize you, Dee!
    :p
     
  19. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    It's only racist if you make it racist. It has been my experience that people of color are too limp wristed and flamboyant for my liking. I'm not saying that all people of color are that way, but most in my area they are. I want a man that walks, talks, dresses and acts like a man. I don't want some sissified, lisping, limpwristed and flamboyant drama queen regardless of their race or the color of their skin. When you strip away the skin and look inside, we all have the same parts and they're basically the same color and we all bleed red.

    Not racist, it's a preference.
     
  20. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    I'll have you know my wrists are so stiff I'm growing ganglions! :p
     
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