Racism? Or Simply Preference? Who Is Right Here?

[Jay-E]

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If you were to bring this man in front of a panel consisting of a white, Asian, black, Latino, and Middle Eastern people, you wouldnt have anyone on that panel arguing that hes white, or Asian. And you know this.

Lol you place a picture of a “black man” not black men, who come in different shades and have different features, this is the problem with dealing with white gay males who obsess over race on these apps: they forget that more and more of us as a species are actually mixed.

Only the previous generations, (a lot of them who didn’t have college degrees) the slaves, the settlers and original immigrants are pure. For all we know this guy could be part Dominican. The WGM attitude (not all but many) on these apps toward the other races if in regards to socializing is to fetishize if sex is involved, so this is to what the previous poster was referring.

And if you are white, you shouldn’t have to state on your profile that you are online JUST for white guys, when these apps are really devices of social engagement. We can see that you are white. Don’t assume that we all go to circuit parties and gay bars and just looking for sex, because quite a few of us actually prefer not to.

 

[deleted464787]

Lol you place a picture of a “black man” not black men, who come in different shades and have different features, this is the problem with dealing with white gay males who obsess over race on these apps: they forget that more and more of us as a species are actually mixed.

Only the previous generations, (a lot of them who didn’t have college degrees) the slaves, the settlers and original immigrants are pure. For all we know this guy could be part Dominican. The WGM attitude (not all but many) on these apps toward the other races if in regards to socializing is to fetishize if sex is involved, so this is to what the previous poster was referring.

And if you are white, you shouldn’t have to state on your profile that you are online JUST for white guys, when these apps are really devices of social engagement. We can see that you are white. Don’t assume that we all go to circuit parties and gay bars and just looking for sex, because quite a few of us actually prefer not to.

1) If I were to post a picture of any man (even a mixed man) we could probably come to a consensus on what race this person is. Of course people come in "different shades," but we could all still generally agree on what race to ultimately label them as. Im not sure what point youre trying to make there. Also "Dominican" is not a race. Most people would probably agree that "Dominican" falls under the umbrella of black (unless the person looked particularly white--which is certainly possible). But no one would be arguing that a Dominican guy is Asian, or Middle Eastern.

Show me a picture of any man, and I can narrow down what race that person probably is just by looking. We're all capable of doing this... not just white people. Lets not beat around the bush here.

2) You seem to have an issue specifically with white guys. Im curious what you have to say about the Latino guys in my area (and yes, there are a lot of them) who write Latino+++ on their profiles. Whenever I bring this up to anyone on your side of the argument, they all of a sudden go quiet... and Id love for one of you guys to finally answer for it.

3) I dont assume that "you all go to circuit parties and gay bars looking for sex." Ive never frequented a circuit party, or gay bar. Im specifically talking about Grindr, which is an app that men PRIMARILY use to find immediate sex. (Yes, there are a few who arent seeking sex, but they are VASTLY outnumbered by men who are).

 

[Jay-E]

1) If I were to post a picture of any man (even a mixed man) we could probably come to a consensus on what race this person is. Of course people come in "different shades," but we could all still generally agree on what race to ultimately label them as. Im not sure what point youre trying to make there. Also "Dominican" is not a race. Most people would probably agree that "Dominican" falls under the umbrella of black or latino, or even both.

2) You seem to have an issue specifically with white guys. Im curious what you have to say about the Latino guys in my area (and yes, there are a lot of them) who write Latino+++ on their profiles. Whenever I bring this up to anyone on your side of the argument, they all of a sudden go quiet... and Id love for one of you guys to finally answer for it.

3) I dont assume that "you all go to circuit parties and gay bars looking for sex." Ive never frequented a circuit party, or gay bar. Im specifically talking about Grindr, which is an app that men PRIMARILY use to find immediate sex. (Yes, there are a few who arent seeking sex, but they are VASTLY outnumbered by men who are).

1) Not true, this is a myth, because there are many shades of black to very light skinned with “European” features, and both parents can identify as black. If you are not from a metropolitan area, and from a rural one, you will also have less exposure to the other nationalities. Let’s stop being ignorant in the 21st century. But I know it is a part of human nature to be ignorant.

2) What keeps me from posting in these topics is personal comments, this is what trolling is. When you realize your argument is weak you attack, I’m not gonna feed this, which is why you don’t get a response here.

3) If you exclude certain groups of people by race or ethnicity, minority group whatever, YES people WILL take offense. Because Grindr is not just a hook app, it’s actually where a lot of younger users first interact with another male looking for this kind of connection, so instead of filtering out by race, you are drawing that attention to yourself with your outright bigotry. This is not that difficult. You couldn’t get away with that if you were using the app in a metropolitan area like in NYC, you would have been reported most likely.

 

[deleted464787]

1) Not true, this is a myth, because there are many shades of black to very light skinned with “European” features, and both parents can identify as black. If you are not from a metropolitan area, and from a rural one, you will also have less exposure to the other nationalities. Let’s stop being ignorant in the 21st century. But I know it is a part of human nature to be ignorant.

2) What keeps me from posting in these topics is personal comments, this is what trolling is. When you realize your argument is weak you attack, I’m not gonna feed this, which is why you don’t get a response here.

3) If you exclude certain groups of people by race or ethnicity, minority group whatever, YES people WILL take offense. Because Grindr is not just a hook app, it’s actually where a lot of younger users first interact with another male looking for this kind of connection, so instead of filtering out by race, you are drawing that negativity to yourself with your outright bigotry. This is not that difficult. You couldn’t get away with that if you were using the app in a metropolitan area like in NYC, you would have been reported most likely.

Im not sure how asking you to comment on the Latino guys in my area that say "Latino+++" is an attack... but ok.... Its a little worrying that you take issue only when a white man does this, but not when a Latino or black man does this. HUGE double standard there.

And lol at you saying I wouldnt get away with this in a metropolitan area like NYC. I live in Los Angeles. What kind of city do you think that is

As a resident of LA, I see this from ALL races. Latinos generally prefer Latinos. Blacks generally prefer blacks. Whites generally prefer whites from what I see on the app.

You don't seriously believe that this is solely a "white person problem," do you?


And yes, Grindr is PRIMARILY used as a hookup app. If you ask 1000 people what Grindr is used for, a STAGGERINGLY high number of people (Id wager over 90%) would say "Gay sex." End of story. If you believe otherwise, youre simply delusional.

 

[Jay-E]

Im not sure how asking you to comment on the Latino guys in my area that say "Latino+++" is an attack... but ok....

And lol at you saying I wouldnt get away with this in a metropolitan area like NYC. I live in Los Angeles. What kind of city do you think that is

As a resident of LA, I see this from ALL races. Latinos generally prefer Latinos. Blacks generally prefer blacks. Whites generally prefer whites from what I see on the app.

You don't seriously believe that this is solely a "white person problem," do you?


And yes, Grindr is PRIMARILY used as a hookup app. If you ask 1000 people what Grindr is used for, a STAGGERINGLY high number of people (Id wager over 90%) would say "Gay sex." End of story. If you believe otherwise, youre simply delusional.

Los Angeles also has a lot of delusional folks, but that’s another subject. It’s not because you are white, it’s because you are drawing that attention to yourself by making it a number one issue. Those that do it will offend people, because of how we socialize, and once again these apps are what you make of it, they are not just used for sex.

 

[deleted464787]

Los Angeles also has a lot of delusional folks, but that’s another subject. It’s not because you are white, it’s because you are drawing that attention to yourself by making it a number one issue. Those that do it will offend people, because of how we socialize, and once again these apps are what you make of it, they are not just used for sex.

Los Angeles also has a lot of delusional folks, but that’s another subject.

Annnnd.... you just lost most of your credibility right there. What an asinine statement. Do you not think NYC has its own share of problems? Come on dude, you cant be this ignorant.

It’s not because you are white, it’s because you are drawing that attention to yourself by making it a number one issue.

Arent the Latino people who say "Latino+++" in their profile doing the exact same thing? Youre 3 posts in now, and you still have yet to address it. Dont be so hypocritical. Right now, all we're hearing is "waaaahhhh, white people bad!" If you dont want to come off that way, you should address the same behavior equally.

once again these apps are what you make of it, they are not just used for sex.

Who are you arguing against here? A strawman you created? I said they are PRIMARILY used for sex. not JUST used for sex. Do you agree with that statement, or not?

 

[Jay-E]

Annnnd.... you just lost most of your credibility right there. What an asinine statement. Do you not think NYC has its own share of problems? Come on dude, you cant be this ignorant.


Arent the Latino people who say "Latino+++" in their profile doing the exact same thing? Youre 3 posts in now, and you still have yet to address it. Dont be so hypocritical. Right now, all we're hearing is "waaaahhhh, white people bad!" If you dont want to come off that way, you should address the same behavior equally.


Who are you arguing against here? A strawman you created? I said they are PRIMARILY used for sex. not JUST used for sex. Do you agree with that statement, or not?

Lol I knew this was a trap. Yes NYC has its loonies too, but the point was that you live in an area that is not as multi-culturally concentrated. You use a public app and refuse to acknowledge the offense of many people. But at the end of the day, you secretly like this attention you are getting, so I will stop here.

 

[deleted464787]

Lol I knew this was a trap. Yes NYC has its loonies too, but the point was that you live in an area that is not as multi-culturally concentrated. You use a public app and refuse to acknowledge the offense of many people. But at the end of the day, you secretly like this attention you are getting, so I will stop here.

What trap? You came on a public forum of your own accord, and made some grossly ignorant statements, refused to address a very easily addressable counterpoint I made, and got called out both accounts. And now you're choosing to run away from the discussion.

Your prerogative, though. Have a good one!

 

[Fakeyboi129]

I dont agree with this.

You can not agreee it all you want. You can use google to see how different societies used to categorize people by "race". You're still wrong. Period. History and sociology proves you wrong.

You also ignored 90% of my comment

 

[deleted464787]

You can not agreee it all you want. You can use google to see how different societies used to categorize people by "race". You're still wrong. Period. History and sociology proves you wrong.

You also ignored 90% of my comment

90% of your comment was probably inconsequential then.

Im not seeing any arguments presented by you that are particularly cogent or novel in the scope of this discussion. The only argument you seem to be making is, to paraphrase "Everyone visually sees everyone else differently throughout history and society."

Well... thats great. But when it comes to my individual sexual attraction, all that matter is how I visually see them. So... your statement isnt really of any relevance here. I dont know how else to spell that out for you.

 

[Fakeyboi129]

90% of your comment was probably inconsequential then.

Im not seeing any arguments presented by you that are particularly cogent or novel in the scope of this discussion. The only argument you seem to be making is, to paraphrase "Everyone visually sees everyone else differently throughout history and society."

Well... thats great. But when it comes to my individual sexual attraction, all that matter is how I visually see them. So... your statement isnt really of any relevance here. I dont know how else to spell that out for you.

History and cultures and biology are inconsequential?

Clearly this thread hit a nerve

Race isn't real

 

[deleted464787]

History and cultures and biology are inconsequential?

Do you have reading comprehension problems? Why are you continuing to make strawman arguments that I never said? When did I say "history and cultures and biology are inconsequential?"

I said 90% of what you posted was inconsequential to this discussion. History and culture and biology are not relevant to a single persons sexual preference.

Race isn't real

1.) I never said race should be ignored.

These are 2 quotes that YOU made. Now I'm going to hold your feet to the fire and ask you to reconcile them. How can you argue that "Race isnt real" yet argue at the same time that it shouldnt be ignored?

 

[Fakeyboi129]

Do you have reading comprehension problems? Why are you continuing to make strawman arguments that I never said? When did I say "history and cultures and biology are inconsequential?"

I said 90% of what you posted was inconsequential to this discussion. History and culture and biology are not relevant to a single persons sexual preference.





These are 2 quotes that YOU made. Now I'm going to hold your feet to the fire and ask you to reconcile them. How can you argue that "Race isnt real" yet argue at the same time that it shouldnt be ignored?

The entirety of my comment was based in history, sociology and biology. The same comment you said was fully inconsequential. Do I really need to spell this out for you?

Biology is relevant to someones sexuality. Sociology is relevant to human behaviour and human society (influence). And History is relevant as it supports my claims.

Race isn't real, neither is money or God. But humans have involved themselves with all of these things. Race isn't a biological hard driven line in terms of human features, genetics etc... and it differs between societies and changes over time. Meaning it isn't an innate *thing*. However, just like God and money, it still impacts us.

It doesn't exist in the ways it's often understood by people. The human aspect of it (creation, upholding, evolution of it) does exist.

Being able to recognize this will help you.

 

[heinz.friedrich]

Biology is relevant to someones sexuality. Sociology is relevant to human behaviour and human society (influence). And History is relevant as it supports my claims.

Race isn't real, neither is money or God. But humans have involved themselves with all of these things. Race isn't a biological hard driven line in terms of human features, genetics etc... and it differs between societies and changes over time. Meaning it isn't an innate *thing*. However, just like God and money, it still impacts us.

Yes, I see it this way, too.

I want to expand on this:
You can also be attracted to specific attributes like dick, muscle, height, boobs, asses, feet, etc.
In that case, you do not distinguish much between races, because they all look pretty much the same.

3) If you exclude certain groups of people by race or ethnicity, minority group whatever, YES people WILL take offense. Because Grindr is not just a hook app, it’s actually where a lot of younger users first interact with another male looking for this kind of connection, so instead of filtering out by race, you are drawing that attention to yourself with your outright bigotry. This is not that difficult. You couldn’t get away with that if you were using the app in a metropolitan area like in NYC, you would have been reported most likely.

But you can only change your attraction if you practice some kind of spiritual teaching that helps you with that. You have to programm your attraction for a specific race or you programm yourself to be attracted to attributes that every race has like boobs or dicks.

 

[heinz.friedrich]

@Fakeyboi129 @ArkNebradia

I want to expand on the "race isnt real" and "race does matter" discussion:

Race does matter for some people, but not all people. If you do not care about the race, that does not abolish the fact that other people that are shallow care about race.


People that are more shallow care more about the look and the appearance and the people that are more developed care more about the character.

You can also be attracted to the character instead of the appearance ( also sexually).

For example if somebody ask you about Mbappe the probably best soccer player at the moment. More positive people describe his character and his qualities as a player. Shallow people say he is black or describe his appearance.

If you say race does not matter, it is true for spiritually more advance people. Other people that are more shallow care about race, because they care more about the appearance. So both assumptions can be true at the same time.

 

[deleted464787]

@Fakeyboi129 @ArkNebradia

I want to expand on the "race isnt real" and "race does matter" discussion:

Race does matter for some people, but not all people. If you do not care about the race, that does not abolish the fact that other people that are shallow care about race.


People that are more shallow care more about the look and the appearance and the people that are more developed care more about the character.

You can also be attracted to the character instead of the appearance ( also sexually).

For example if somebody ask you about Mbappe the probably best soccer player at the moment. More positive people describe his character and his qualities as a player. Shallow people say he is black or describe his appearance.

If you say race does not matter, it is true for spiritually more advance people. Other people that are more shallow care about race, because they care more about the appearance. So both assumptions can be true at the same time.

Whenever you meet a new person, you are (either consciously or subconsciously) vetting their viability as a sexual partner just from looking at them, and within the first 10 seconds of meeting them. Within those first 10 seconds, you know nothing about their personality.

The same applies with swiping someones pictures on a dating app.

This is not a "shallow" characteristic. This is a very human characteristic. There is a good reason why a group of people can come to a general consensus on why one person is conventionally attractive, and another person is not.

This fact may offend you for one reason or another--maybe youve been rejected before because someone didnt find you conventionally attractive--but thats generally how human courtship starts out.

Im not buying the snake oil argument of that you have to be more developed to appreciate someones character, and shallow to only care about looks. There are plenty of people Im good friends with that have great character, but are conventionally unattractive, and I have already excluded them from my pool of viable sexual partners.

What WOULD be shallow is if I were to treat them harshly and say "youre ugly, so I want nothing to do with you."

I will happily be friends with a conventionally unattractive person in a public sphere. I will not happily thrust my penis into them. And that says nothing negative about my character development.

 

[Fakeyboi129]

Whenever you meet a new person, you are (either consciously or subconsciously) vetting their viability as a sexual partner just from looking at them, and within the first 10 seconds of meeting them. Within those first 10 seconds, you know nothing about their personality.

The same applies with swiping someones pictures on a dating app.

This is not a "shallow" characteristic. This is a very human characteristic. There is a good reason why a group of people can come to a general consensus on why one person is conventionally attractive, and another person is not.

This fact may offend you for one reason or another--maybe youve been rejected before because someone didnt find you conventionally attractive--but thats generally how human courtship starts out.

Im not buying the snake oil argument of that you have to be more developed to appreciate someones character, and shallow to only care about looks. There are plenty of people Im good friends with that have great character, but are conventionally unattractive, and I have already excluded them from my pool of viable sexual partners.

What WOULD be shallow is if I were to treat them harshly and say "youre ugly, so I want nothing to do with you."

I will happily be friends with a conventionally unattractive person in a public sphere. I will not happily thrust my penis into them. And that says nothing negative about my character development.

Nobody is saying you can't not be attracted to certain physical features, but to say you're unattractive to an ENTIRE race (which isn't real) is impossible and a mental choice.

 

[deleted464787]

Nobody is saying you can't not be attracted to certain physical features, but to say you're unattractive to an ENTIRE race (which isn't real) is impossible and a mental choice.

Invalid strawman argument.

1) I never said Im unattracted to an entire race. Why do you keep making shit up?

2) We visually determine someone's race by their physical features. If someone says they tend to find black people unattractive, that doesnt necessarily mean they hate people "just because theyre black." They might be saying they are unattracted to the combination of physical characteristics that that black people typically exhibit. Read that carefully... especially the enlarged parts... because you just dont seem to get it.

I'm shocked that I have to spell this out for you--it almost feel patronizing to have to explain such an obvious thing. But if you need me to hold your hand and babysit you through this thread, Ill do that.

 

[Fakeyboi129]

Invalid strawman argument.

1) I never said Im unattracted to an entire race. Why do you keep making shit up?

2) We visually determine someone's race by their physical features. If someone says they tend to find black people unattractive, that doesnt necessarily mean they hate people "just because theyre black." They might be saying they are unattracted to the combination of physical characteristics that that black people typically exhibit. Read that carefully... especially the enlarged parts... because you just dont seem to get it.

I'm shocked that I have to spell this out for you--it almost feel patronizing to have to explain such an obvious thing. But if you need me to hold your hand and babysit you through this thread, Ill do that.

You don't have to spell anything out for me. I understand your ignorance.

Define Black

 

[Fakeyboi129]

Invalid strawman argument.

1) I never said Im unattracted to an entire race. Why do you keep making shit up?

2) We visually determine someone's race by their physical features. If someone says they tend to find black people unattractive, that doesnt necessarily mean they hate people "just because theyre black." They might be saying they are unattracted to the combination of physical characteristics that that black people typically exhibit. Read that carefully... especially the enlarged parts... because you just dont seem to get it.

I'm shocked that I have to spell this out for you--it almost feel patronizing to have to explain such an obvious thing. But if you need me to hold your hand and babysit you through this thread, Ill do that.

Another thing you seem to be missing is that this thread (and the other one if I'm remembering correctly) weighed heavily on people who will litterally exclude individual races from their dating pool/dating apps/hookup apps etc.

Grindr used to have a race filter.