Racism? Or Simply Preference? Who Is Right Here?

[deleted464787]

You don't have to spell anything out for me. I understand your ignorance.

Define Black

Black is a racialized classification of people, usually a political and skin color-based category for specific populations with a mid to dark brown complexion. Not all people considered "black" have dark skin; in certain countries, often in socially based systems of racial classification in the Western world, the term "black" is used to describe persons who are perceived as dark-skinned compared to other populations. It is most commonly used for people of sub-Saharan African ancestry and the indigenous peoples of Oceania, though it has been applied in many contexts to other groups, and is no indicator of any close ancestral relationship whatsoever.

 

[deleted464787]

Another thing you seem to be missing is that this thread (and the other one if I'm remembering correctly) weighed heavily on people who will litterally exclude individual races from their dating pool/dating apps/hookup apps etc.

Grindr used to have a race filter.

OK....

And...?

Whats your point?

As a person who finds white people particularly attractive, I would most likely be using that race filter to make it easier to find people who match my particular visual preferences in a sexual partner.

That STILL doesnt say anything about my character.

 

[hisiff maji]

Nobody is saying you can't not be attracted to certain physical features, but to say you're unattractive to an ENTIRE race (which isn't real) is impossible and a mental choice.

How is it impossible to find dark skin unattractive? I’ve heard plenty of people call redheads unappealing as a group. Most fit people seem to find obese people as a whole unappealing to them, and that isn’t considered fatphobic is it? It’s just a physical preference.

 

[Fakeyboi129]

Please reread. I never said it isn't possible to find darker skin unattractive (tho there's def some heavy bias there).

I said it's impossible to be completely unattracted to a certain race. Why? Because race doesn't exist. There isn't a solid line that divides people racially.

How is it impossible to find dark skin unattractive? I’ve heard plenty of people call redheads unappealing as a group. Most fit people seem to find obese people as a whole unappealing to them, and that isn’t considered fatphobic is it? It’s just a physical preference.

 

[deleted464787]

Please reread. I never said it isn't possible to find darker skin unattractive (tho there's def some heavy bias there).

I said it's impossible to be completely unattracted to a certain race. Why? Because race doesn't exist. There isn't a solid line that divides people racially.

No one ever said there’s a solid line that divides people racially. There will always be cases where a persons race can be ambiguous. But you’re missing the point.


when someone says “I’m not attracted to black people” they USUALLY mean certain physical characteristics that black people have in common.

you are conflating someone’s general statement to be a statement of absolute.

 

[hisiff maji]

Please reread. I never said it isn't possible to find darker skin unattractive (tho there's def some heavy bias there).

I said it's impossible to be completely unattracted to a certain race. Why? Because race doesn't exist. There isn't a solid line that divides people racially.

Of course there’s no solid line that divides race, we’re all humans. But race is a social construct that most people today use and identify with. When I say “I don’t find myself attracted to black men” it’s a collection of physical features like dark skin or facial features that I don’t find sexually attractive. For someone else it may be white skin and thin lips and they would say privately “I’m not into white men”.
What I’m saying is, why would anyone take issue with this and call a person racist? It’s not the same as saying (insert group) is inferior to me. I don’t think women or older men are inferior, but respectfully I would not date either because there’s no physical appeal to me.

 

[Fakeyboi129]

Of course there’s no solid line that divides race, we’re all humans. But race is a social construct that most people today use and identify with. When I say “I don’t find myself attracted to black men” it’s a collection of physical features like dark skin or facial features that I don’t find sexually attractive. For someone else it may be white skin and thin lips and they would say privately “I’m not into white men”.
What I’m saying is, why would anyone take issue with this and call a person racist? It’s not the same as saying (insert group) is inferior to me. I don’t think women or older men are inferior, but respectfully I would not date either because there’s no physical appeal to me.

Probably because of social biases and the fact that so many societies deem black/darl skin as inferior and unattractive in general.

It also just doesn't make sense

 

[Fakeyboi129]

No one ever said there’s a solid line that divides people racially. There will always be cases where a persons race can be ambiguous. But you’re missing the point.


when someone says “I’m not attracted to black people” they USUALLY mean certain physical characteristics that black people have in common.

you are conflating someone’s general statement to be a statement of absolute.

If their general statements aren't mirrored in their actions then I will treat it as absolute.

This thread exists for a reason. This thread would never exist for light skinned humans

 

[deleted464787]

If their general statements aren't mirrored in their actions then I will treat it as absolute.

This thread exists for a reason. This thread would never exist for light skinned humans

Oh please. Youre reaching.

There are plenty of people IN THIS VERY THREAD who have stated that they arent as attracted to white people--let alone on Grindr.

Don't make ignorant statements.

 

[hisiff maji]

Probably because of social biases and the fact that so many societies deem black/darl skin as inferior and unattractive in general.

It also just doesn't make sense

If their general statements aren't mirrored in their actions then I will treat it as absolute.

This thread exists for a reason. This thread would never exist for light skinned humans

I have come across multiple black men on scruff that have “only interested in other men of color” in their profile. Each to their own, I don’t take it personally, but it’s certainly not only white gay men.

sure we’re all smart enough to know a lot western and eastern societies deem dark skin and minority features unattractive. You can’t pin that on my sexuality or any other individual though, I think it’s just innapropriate

 

[Fakeyboi129]

I have come across multiple black men on scruff that have “only interested in other men of color” in their profile. Each to their own, I don’t take it personally, but it’s certainly not only white gay men.

sure we’re all smart enough to know a lot western and eastern societies deem dark skin and minority features unattractive. You can’t pin that on my sexuality or any other individual though, I think it’s just innapropriate

I'm simply pointing out patterns.

 

[Fakeyboi129]

Oh please. Youre reaching.

There are plenty of people IN THIS VERY THREAD who have stated that they arent as attracted to white people--let alone on Grindr.

Don't make ignorant statements.

The majority of the discussions have been about darker skin :/

 

[deleted464787]

The majority of the discussions have been about darker skin :/

Well I’m sorry you feel that way, but just because it frustrates/offends you, doesn’t make it wrong. And the solution to your problem definitely isn’t “everyone should be sexually attracted to everyone else equally, and if not, shame their character.”

every race/skin color has their own struggles they deal with—even white people, believe it or not. Productive human beings Don’t sit around and well on it. We pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, and continue forward and find what makes us happy. You’d do well to do the same.

If I have sex with people of only ONE skin color, it doesn’t make the world a WORSE place. And if I have sex with someone of EVERY skin color, it doesn’t make the world a BETTER place.

Who I bring into MY bedroom, and choose to put MY penis inside has absolutely no effect on the quality of YOUR life. Remember that.

 

[HorseHung40's]

Forget that a person is of a different race, just for a second. Are you attracted to that person sexually? If not, I would call it preference.

 

[deleted464787]

Forget that a person is of a different race, just for a second. Are you attracted to that person sexually? If not, I would call it preference.

This is exactly how I feel.

In fact, if I find the person attractive, I want to have sex with them, regardless of the race.

I was simply pointing out that more often than not, the men who make me feel that way tend to be white, but apparently, that acknowledgment alone is enough to upset some people—even to the point of dehumanizing them, and shaming them for their preferences.

if someone rejected me, and said they didn’t want to have sex with me, I personally would never think to shame them for it.

 

[Fakeyboi129]

Well I’m sorry you feel that way, but just because it frustrates/offends you, doesn’t make it wrong. And the solution to your problem definitely isn’t “everyone should be sexually attracted to everyone else equally, and if not, shame their character.”

every race/skin color has their own struggles they deal with—even white people, believe it or not. Productive human beings Don’t sit around and well on it. We pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, and continue forward and find what makes us happy. You’d do well to do the same.

If I have sex with people of only ONE skin color, it doesn’t make the world a WORSE place. And if I have sex with someone of EVERY skin color, it doesn’t make the world a BETTER place.

Who I bring into MY bedroom, and choose to put MY penis inside has absolutely no effect on the quality of YOUR life. Remember that.

I haven't stated that I felt offended. I'm not coming at this from a place of personal feelings, I'm coming at this from an objective pov where race isn't an actual thing.

You've stated how you felt multiple times, especially with this last comment.

And that's not the topic of the discussion tho. Nobody here is trying to change ur mind.

U seem to be really triggered by this idk if it's because you feel guilty or shameful but please reread the title of this discussion. We're looking at whether something is or isn't. Not at how you feel about what is or isn't.

This is starting to turn into All Lives Matter rhetoric so maybe you should find a different thread that won't upset you as much cheers

 

[Fakeyboi129]

This is exactly how I feel.

In fact, if I find the person attractive, I want to have sex with them, regardless of the race.

I was simply pointing out that more often than not, the men who make me feel that way tend to be white, but apparently, that acknowledgment alone is enough to upset some people—even to the point of dehumanizing them, and shaming them for their preferences.

if someone rejected me, and said they didn’t want to have sex with me, I personally would never think to shame them for it.

Again, no one is upset. Just pointing out societal bias. Which this thread only proves.

 

[deleted464787]

I haven't stated that I felt offended. I'm not coming at this from a place of personal feelings, I'm coming at this from an objective pov where race isn't an actual thing.

You've stated how you felt multiple times, especially with this last comment.

And that's not the topic of the discussion tho. Nobody here is trying to change ur mind.

U seem to be really triggered by this idk if it's because you feel guilty or shameful but please reread the title of this discussion. We're looking at whether something is or isn't. Not at how you feel about what is or isn't.

This is starting to turn into All Lives Matter rhetoric so maybe you should find a different thread that won't upset you as much cheers

Maybe you’re right.
Perhaps you should ask the original poster of this thread about whether or not they want the topics Im bringing up in THEIR thread…

 

[deleted464787]

This is starting to turn into All Lives Matter rhetoric so maybe you should find a different thread that won't upset you as much cheers

1) I’m shocked that you’re triggered by the fact that all lives do, in fact, matter.

2). If you’re upset at the fact that all lives do indeed matter, then maybe YOU should be the one finding a different thread.

3). I’m the OP of this thread, in case my post above went undetected by you.

 

[hisiff maji]

Again, no one is upset. Just pointing out societal bias. Which this thread only proves.

My two cents: it’s not racist societal bias. This country is majority white, has been majority white all our lives. People worldwide are much more likely to date people of their own ethnic/racial background. If that’s not how you date, great, but don’t push your preferences and assumptions on others by stamping “racist” on their forehead. Sexual attraction is its own thing, never a litmus test for bigotry in any form. Unless a bigot/racist makes it clear that’s their reasoning.