Racism? Or Simply Preference? Who Is Right Here?

[deleted464787]

If you would befriend someone, be happy if they married someone you love, hire them to work with you, would smile at them on the street, would fight for their rights, then you aren't racist. That's what's important, not whether you'd suck their dick.

There isnt a font size big enough, or a bold type bold enough for me to get this point across to some people. Such a simple, yet impactful response. Take heed, SJWs.

 

[Nigel Atkinson]

Why is this thread still a thing ?

 

[deleted464787]

Why is this thread still a thing ?

1) Doesnt like that the thread is still going on, and near the top on the front page.
2) Makes a post asking why its still going on, thereby bumping it back to the top of the front page.
3) ???
4) Profit!

 

[Nigel Atkinson]

1) Doesnt like that the thread is still going on, and near the top on the front page.
2) Makes a post asking why its still going on, thereby bumping it back to the top of the front page.
3) ???
4) Profit!

yikes ! Still so much hostility. I could care less. Just wondering what could still be Discussed on here. I’m all caught up. Same old.

 

[deleted464787]

yikes ! Still so much hostility. I could care less. Just wondering what could still be Discussed on here. I’m all caught up. Same old.

Honestly, based on what we already know about you, youre probably just coming in here to pick a fight. And then I think its silly for you to act all surprised... especially when Im only pointing out the obvious irony in you complaining that the thread is still going, while simultaneously bumping said thread.

Either way, we're not biting. Probably best if you go troll elsewhere, my friend.

 

[Nigel Atkinson]

Honestly, based on what we already know about you, youre probably just coming in here to pick a fight. And then I think its silly for you to act all surprised... especially when Im only pointing out the obvious irony in you complaining that the thread is still going, while simultaneously bumping said thread.

Either way, we're not biting. Probably best if you go troll elsewhere, my friend.

Right, I’m coming to pick a fight whatever you say.

 

[ahaahahahaa]

I feel like the past few years of shaming haven't changed much, the only difference is that now people just ignore you in silence instead of telling to your face that they dont date x race or they dont like y body type.

 

[EricR]

Ok. I will jump in the fire. I prefer women over men. Does that make me a homophobe? I love prefer women with brown eyes. Don't know what that would make me. Not saying I wouldn't fuck a woman that had blue or green eyes, but if had a choice? Eyes would be brown. I have seen plenty of woman of all ethnic backgrounds that I would not kick out of my bed....unless she wanted to do it on the floor.

In this day and age. Everyone is looking to be offended. So so tired of every word someone might say as offensive.

 

[Roccofan]

Hi all, been a LOOOOONG time since Ive posted here.... mostly just spent the years lurking and looking at pictures and videos. But tonight, something happened, and I just had to post about it. So please read this whole thing before drawing any conclusions (warning, this post may be quite long), and then give me your honest feedback. I promise I won't be offended either way.

So, as a quick background--a bit about me. Im mostly straight (mostly into women, but down to fool around with dudes if the mood is right), and I can only ever see myself getting into an actual relationship with women (with men, it would never go beyond physical pleasure). Label me whatever category that puts me into... straight, bi, whatever... thats not the point. The 2nd fact about me, Im white. Im not hung up about it, and I don't have a feeling of superiority about it... it just is what it is--thats how the universe made me... a white guy.

Why is all this important you ask? Well, it just so happens that sometimes Im in.. "the mood" and having a guy around to help me out sounds kinda fun... so naturally I turned to Grindr (LOL, dont judge me, we all have needs). On there, my profile simply says, and I quote:

"Bi white guy here, looking for fun. Mostly attracted to other white guys."

So tonight, I just happened to get on, and I was greeted with this lovely message from a Latino individual (see picture attached). For those that cant see the picture, this is how he greeted me, verbatim:

"You understand that racial preferences are racist? Making preemptive decisions about a person based on the color of their skin is racism. Check your white privilege dude."

I was shocked. I've never really been a fan of people who play into identity politics, but Ill be damned if people on the far left now think they are so "woke" enough to start dictating who I can, or have to be attracted to. I wanted to just cuss the guy out, or block him, but I thought "you know, lets see if I can talk to this guy rationally and see if I can construct an argument that would make him change his point of view and agree with me."

I won't post pictures of the entire conversation--its a long one--but Ill try to give you guys the gyst of how it went down, along with my thoughts, and then Id like to hear what you all have to say about it.

First, I tried explaining to him that although I'd consider myself unlikely to have sex with a black, or latino dude, Id happily still be friends with them. Does that still qualify as racist? He seemed very hung up on the fact that I was a white dude who only liked other white dudes. I then explained to him that as a bi guy, Im actually mostly attracted to Asian women over any other race, to which he responded thats racist because Im sexualizing Asian women (huh?).

He then made a statement that there must be a REASON why Im attracted to white dudes. To which I responded with this analogy: "I love steak. And I think onions are gross. (really, I cant stand them, lol). Whos to say whats right or whats wrong about that? Why am I not entitled to have my own preferences? Once again, this is simply how the universe made me, and I cant CHANGE it just because that offends you." He responded saying that my food analogy is stupid because "onions arent an ethnic identity that im excluding because its different from what Ive been told is beautiful."

Again.... huh? I don't remember being told that only white people are beautiful. And if I was told (and convinced!) that only white people are beautiful, then why the hell am I attracted to Asian women?

In the end, I explained to him that I dare say that if I was a white guy, who only happened to be attracted to say... black guys, he wouldnt be so offended by this. And do you know how he responded? Youre not going to believe this.... HE AGREED! He couldnt have proven my point any easier. How does a person not see the hypocrisy in all of this?

Afterwards, I told him I was going to be posting a rundown of our conversation on here, and getting feedback, and sharing it with him. I also intend to share the link to this thread with him so he can share his side of the story, and hopefully not be biased (lets see if he actually responds). If not, Im prepared to post screenshots of the entire conversation just to prove Im being genuine here, and not only telling one side.

So now, I ask you all the readers, to please share your feedback here.

I would argue that he was WAY out of line to begin by making such assumptions and coming at me that way. And I might even argue that him coming at me that way could even be proof that he harbors some "white hate" if there is such a thing--but maybe thats a stretch.

I would also argue that having a sexual attraction is not racist, just as having a sexual preference is not sexist, and just having a preference for ANY characteristic is not "x-ist". Not only that, but I for SURE am not obligated to justify why I find certain things attractive, and certain other things unattractive, nor is anyone obligated to explain to me why they might not be attracted to me--that is entirely their subjective opinion, and theyre entitled to it. And if the social justice-identity politics-toting left is starting to push to mandate how we think like that...then Ill just start jacking off on my own rather than being forced to have sex with someone I happen to not be attracted to just because it offends them.

Thoughts? Opinions? I'll be checking back periodically to see what you all have to say.

Thanks for reading.

I know this post is old, but I just wanted to answer it and make it kinda short. Here’s my understanding of how attraction develops (gay, straight, otherwise);


I grew up around all Latin / Black men. I’ve never found white men attractive in the slightest. When I joined the Air Force, being around all white men, something definitely changed. I think my new exposure to white men opened up the possibility of attraction and a few hookups happened. I really do think it subconsciously has a lot to do with our surroundings and it’s not a bad thing. But I try to keep a non-convoluted conscious about it when I’m thinking of desirable partners, sex or otherwise.

 

[tsfan1]

Ok. I will jump in the fire. I prefer women over men. Does that make me a homophobe? I love prefer women with brown eyes. Don't know what that would make me. Not saying I wouldn't fuck a woman that had blue or green eyes, but if had a choice? Eyes would be brown. I have seen plenty of woman of all ethnic backgrounds that I would not kick out of my bed....unless she wanted to do it on the floor.

In this day and age. Everyone is looking to be offended. So so tired of every word someone might say as offensive.

Do u think al men are unattractive?

 

[EricR]

Do u think al men are unattractive?

As far as sexually yes. They are not attractive. I can't remember any time in my life that I have said.....Damn that's a good looking ma!! Sorry. I just haven't

 

[tsfan1]

As far as sexually yes. They are not attractive. I can't remember any time in my life that I have said.....Damn that's a good looking ma!! Sorry. I just haven't

So u dont say: all men are ugly.

That s problem 1: some gays say all black men are ugly. (Yes those exist)

Another question, because ur comparison was flawed:
You like women. Do you exclude a certain race?

 

[EricR]

So u dont say: all men are ugly.

That s problem 1: some gays say all black men are ugly. (Yes those exist)

Another question, because ur comparison was flawed:
You like women. Do you exclude a certain race?

I think your reading comprehension is flawed. Go back and read my first post. I said I have seen ALL ethnic groups of woman that are attractive and desirable and would not kick them out of bed unless they just wanted to fuck on the floor.

I'm not sure what your goal is in asking these questions, but I think you are looking for something to be offended and triggered about. If so? Have at it my friend. I'm not gona play ya game any further.

 

[EquusAZ]

The second race comes into play, any exclusion based on race, is racist. Conversely any preference based on race is fetishization, a form of racism. I don't understand why you need 90 pages to see that.

 

[deleted464787]

The second race comes into play, any exclusion based on race, is racist. Conversely any preference based on race is fetishization, a form of racism. I don't understand why you need 90 pages to see that.

I dont think you read any of this thread at all. Or even the original post, for that matter. You may as well be arguing about another topic. No one, anywhere in the entirety of this thread, said they EXCLUDE people based on race. And there are obviously other people throughout these 90 pages that also disagree with you on the fetishization topic.

What you say is not an axiomatic fact. And no matter how much you believe it, or how much it hurts your feelings, it doesnt make it self-evident and true.

If you want to sound more intelligent--and actually more convincing, youd be much better served to present evidence of WHY you think its racist, and WHY you think its fetishization, rather than just blindly stating that it is.

Proof #1
As an example: I already stated before... a person's appearance generally plays a major part in whether or not someone finds them attractive. And it IS an axiomatic fact that a persons race is generally (not always... but generally) tied to their physical appearance. Therefore, I don't believe any of this falls under the umbrella of racism or fetishization... at least not in my case. If you disagree, you must concede that being attracted to blonde hair, or being attracted to men over 6ft tall is ALSO fetishization. And in doing so, you COMPLETELY WATER DOWN the actual meaning of fetishization altogether, to the point where attraction = fetishizaton.

Proof #2
I should also point this out: Im not choosing to include/exclude sexual partners based on their race. I'm choosing to include/exclude sexual partners based on how attractive I find them. I find the physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women attractive. Therefore, I am generally more attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. Im attracted to these women NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE ATTRACTIVE TO ME. What part of that don't you understand?

 

[EquusAZ]

If you want to sound more intelligent--and actually more convincing, youd be much better served to present evidence of WHY you think its racist, and WHY you think its fetishization, rather than just blindly stating that it is.

Point taken...

The difference between attraction and fetishization is that fetishization is something that is a focus. Being attracted to someone because they are tall CAN be a fetish. If that is the requirement, or something that gets you off that is. The danger of fetishization is that it can lead to racism pretty quickly, especially when the attraction is based on race or, as you put it, features, that are based on race.

The statement "a persons race is generally (not always... but generally) tied to their physical appearance" is a classic definition of racism.

From dictionary.com racism is: "the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another."

The fact of the matter is that if you state that the physical characteristics of a group of people (i.e. race) hold an attraction to you, that attraction is based on race. And racism can be based on bad intentions as well as good ones. Proofs, as you have termed your arguments, can usually be proven by an inverse examination. So...to prove a point, lets take your statement and turn it from positive to negative and see if my theory is correct in that it is in fact a racist statement.

Your statement: " find the physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women attractive. Therefore, I am generally more attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. Im attracted to these women NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE ATTRACTIVE TO ME."


Inverse statement: "I find physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women unattractive, therefore I am generally less attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. I find these women unattractive NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE UNATTRACTIVE TO ME."


And that's the problem with racism. A lot of things don't SOUND racist, until you start looking at them closely. People sometimes don't stop to think if what they are saying is racist, they're too busy denying they are racist to see that they are racist.

 

[tsfan1]

Point taken...

The difference between attraction and fetishization is that fetishization is something that is a focus. Being attracted to someone because they are tall CAN be a fetish. If that is the requirement, or something that gets you off that is. The danger of fetishization is that it can lead to racism pretty quickly, especially when the attraction is based on race or, as you put it, features, that are based on race.

The statement "a persons race is generally (not always... but generally) tied to their physical appearance" is a classic definition of racism.

From dictionary.com racism is: "the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another."

The fact of the matter is that if you state that the physical characteristics of a group of people (i.e. race) hold an attraction to you, that attraction is based on race. And racism can be based on bad intentions as well as good ones. Proofs, as you have termed your arguments, can usually be proven by an inverse examination. So...to prove a point, lets take your statement and turn it from positive to negative and see if my theory is correct in that it is in fact a racist statement.

Your statement: " find the physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women attractive. Therefore, I am generally more attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. Im attracted to these women NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE ATTRACTIVE TO ME."


Inverse statement: "I find physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women unattractive, therefore I am generally less attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. I find these women unattractive NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE UNATTRACTIVE TO ME."


And that's the problem with racism. A lot of things don't SOUND racist, until you start looking at them closely. People sometimes don't stop to think if what they are saying is racist, they're too busy denying they are racist to see that they are racist.

Black people are not attractive
White people are not attractive

That s what people basically say when they say they arent attracted to white/black

 

[deleted464787]

Point taken...

The difference between attraction and fetishization is that fetishization is something that is a focus. Being attracted to someone because they are tall CAN be a fetish. If that is the requirement, or something that gets you off that is. The danger of fetishization is that it can lead to racism pretty quickly, especially when the attraction is based on race or, as you put it, features, that are based on race.

The statement "a persons race is generally (not always... but generally) tied to their physical appearance" is a classic definition of racism.

From dictionary.com racism is: "the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another."

The fact of the matter is that if you state that the physical characteristics of a group of people (i.e. race) hold an attraction to you, that attraction is based on race. And racism can be based on bad intentions as well as good ones. Proofs, as you have termed your arguments, can usually be proven by an inverse examination. So...to prove a point, lets take your statement and turn it from positive to negative and see if my theory is correct in that it is in fact a racist statement.

Your statement: " find the physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women attractive. Therefore, I am generally more attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. Im attracted to these women NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE ATTRACTIVE TO ME."


Inverse statement: "I find physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women unattractive, therefore I am generally less attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. I find these women unattractive NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE UNATTRACTIVE TO ME."


And that's the problem with racism. A lot of things don't SOUND racist, until you start looking at them closely. People sometimes don't stop to think if what they are saying is racist, they're too busy denying they are racist to see that they are racist.

A couple points:

based on what you said, if someone says they find blondes attractive, by your definition, you are fetishizing white people, since that statement is a fixation on blonde hair. I disagree, and I’m sure you would disagree as well. Having an attraction to one thing does not equate to having a fetish for that thing. I think you’re conflating the two.

the people who go around saying “we’re looking for an aggressive bbc bull...”.... THATS a fetishization. It transcends simple attraction.


And in regards to your definition of racism... that is an incredibly watered down definition if it includes pointing out physical differences between races.

Let’s not beat around the bush: IN GENERAL (I hate having to preface these statements that way to protect from having my words spun against me), black people, white people, Asian people, and Latinos are distinctly different from each other physically.... so much so that you can just LOOK at a person and usually tell what race they are. If that’s racism, then EVERYTHING is racism. You have just made the word “racism” meaningless if that’s the case.

racism generally implies that there is a NEGATIVE connotation that goes along with being of a certain race. Simply pointing out that humans look different isn’t negative or positive. It’s a completely neutral statement.

saying “black people are ugly” is, indeed a racist statement. Saying “I’m generally more attracted to white people” is NOT a racist statement. Can you see the difference between the 2 of those? Can you explain it to @tsfan1? Because I do think they do.

The first is a subjective statement of opinion. The 2nd is a factual statement.

 

[deleted464787]

Point taken...

The difference between attraction and fetishization is that fetishization is something that is a focus. Being attracted to someone because they are tall CAN be a fetish. If that is the requirement, or something that gets you off that is. The danger of fetishization is that it can lead to racism pretty quickly, especially when the attraction is based on race or, as you put it, features, that are based on race.

The statement "a persons race is generally (not always... but generally) tied to their physical appearance" is a classic definition of racism.

From dictionary.com racism is: "the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another."

The fact of the matter is that if you state that the physical characteristics of a group of people (i.e. race) hold an attraction to you, that attraction is based on race. And racism can be based on bad intentions as well as good ones. Proofs, as you have termed your arguments, can usually be proven by an inverse examination. So...to prove a point, lets take your statement and turn it from positive to negative and see if my theory is correct in that it is in fact a racist statement.

Your statement: " find the physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women attractive. Therefore, I am generally more attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. Im attracted to these women NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE ATTRACTIVE TO ME."


Inverse statement: "I find physical traits that are commonly associated with Asian women unattractive, therefore I am generally less attracted to Asian women moreso than women of any other race. I find these women unattractive NOT BECAUSE THEYRE ASIAN, but BECAUSE THEYRE UNATTRACTIVE TO ME."


And that's the problem with racism. A lot of things don't SOUND racist, until you start looking at them closely. People sometimes don't stop to think if what they are saying is racist, they're too busy denying they are racist to see that they are racist.

Had to make a second post since I can’t edit the previous one.

i’d also like to add, that although I find Asian women attractive, it is definitely not a “ Requirement“ (as you put it). for me. I find many women, of many different races attractive. Just further proof of why I don’t believe it’s fetishizing.

also, since you pointed out that noticing differences in physical characteristics between racist is racism: does that mean it’s racist in your book to simply label a person as black/white/Latino/Asian/etc?

because generally, looks or how we do it. I’m actually a little bit surprised that you would extend the definition of racism so far.

obviously, all the races have plenty of overlaps when it comes to physical appearances, but there’s certainly no denying that as a whole, they look distinctly different enough from each other that we can usually tell what race someone is just from looking at them.

 

[artboyd]

I didn't read the whole thread but I will give my input anyways. Hope this helps anyone.
- First, you have to set straight that you live in the USA, which means racism and sensitivity are overblown in all ways, positive and negative. Not that other countries don't have it but I think the US has a very sensitive sensitivity (valga la redudancia) in this topic.
- TWO: I come from an extremely mixed family. There's English, French, Spanish and African heritage all mixed up, going as far back as the 1800s. EVERYONE is of a different shade. I don't have a blue eyed family member that I know of but from hazel to black and from silk blonde to crispy black hair, we have it all. It's as if every shade of skin runs over to the total opposite and this has gone from generations... at least the last 3, that I know. I grew up on this environment. I feel lucky about it and skin color is really just a color to me BUT I do have a sexual preference.
Having said that, we have a old saying in Spanish that goes like this: "Para el gusto...., los colores" which translates: "for taste, the colors were made"
I have family members who feel attracted to darker skin and theirs is light, HOWEVER, some have fallen in love with that skin tone they initially disliked.

I myself feel mostly attracted to lighter skin guy in all of it's shades. However, I do not reject the darker skin (darker than myself) opportunities and have had wonderful experiences with darker skinned people. In fact, all of my bad experiences have been with lighter skinned people and some of the bests have been with the darker skin people. That doesn't change the fact that my eyes seem to enjoy more looking at a lighter skin for whatever reason. Think about seeing a picture of a forest in the tropics or a forest in the north. Both beautiful but different.

So, in my humble opinion, the racial sensitivity in the US has a lot of validity from what I have learned but I see that some people just feel entitled to "live by it" and make it their focus in life. That doesn't help the cause. I think this guy has insecurities himself. If I came across your profile, I would either ignore you or if we engage in some sort of conversation and you do bring up the I'm attracted to whites only, I would simply say thank you as I have different tastes myself. You mentioned it says "mostly attracted to..." so there's opportunity for everyone else.

Again, I do not want to undermine the bigger problem of racism and it's ramifications but sexual preferences do control if a dick gets hard or not.