Just to lay down the back story, Im turning 30 this year and Ive never really had sex or any sort of relationship before. I've messed around with a few girls in the past and gone as far as oral sex but it never felt "right" enough to continue on to actual intercourse or maintain the physical relationship beyond a few flings.
I dont feel that my pseudo abstinence is an artifact of anything "wrong" with me, I just think I held sex in such high regard that kept me from getting into it at a very young age (through high school) and then through college and beyond Ive been fairly isolated from any women at all.
So I think it's partly some unrealistic and misplaced morals coupled with a lack of opportunity that's kept me out of "the game" for so long.
It's not necessarily bad though. Aside from the occasional feeling of loneliness ... I have no STDs, Ive never gotten any woman unintentionally pregnant and I have no bitter ex-girlfriends or traumatic relationships in my past.
But let's get back to the topic at hand ... the weirdest thing has started to happen over the past 2 months and it just keeps getting more pronounced from day to day!
My sex drive has been going through the roof!
Now bear in mind, given the back story, this is REALLY unusual ... and even more than that it's completely foreign to me! I've never felt this way in my life before. (I never had that 18 year old, horny as hell, "fuck anything that walks" kind of experience ... or the collegiate "get drunk as hell and fuck anything that walks" experience ... which is apparently so common.)
Every day, all day, Im sizing up every woman that walks in front of me and all I can think about is having sex with them ... or what it would be like to have sex with them ... or what I would do while having sex with them.
Crotches, asses, breasts, legs, stomachs, necks, arms, backs, lips, hair ... it's like Im suddenly hyper sensitive to anything remotely sexual and when I start to zone in its completely overwhelming. I literally have to distract myself in the gym lately when there's some hot chick working out because I start thinking about her too much and I literally feel like I just want to pounce on her and start making love to her right there on the floor!
Even just writing about it has me squirming in my seat!
It feels like some "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" sort of animal instinct has been switched on inside me and Ive got to fight to keep it under control!
It's an awesome, scary and bizarre sort of feeling.
I would imagine that the reason for this sudden change is both my increase in physical fitness and the improvement in my diet. I've always tried to keep fairly healthy but in the last two months Ive taken it to extremes. I work out heavily 5 or 6 times per week, lots of cardio, stripped all the garbage out of my diet, lost about 15 lbs (61 and 198 lbs), reduced my body fat percentage and put on a fair bit of muscle.
I would have to imagine that this is the primary ... if not only cause of my drastically increased sex drive but I never imagined that such a small change could make such a dramatic difference.
In addition to my hopped up sexual desire, I'm also having reduced anxiety about having sex and increased confidence that I "know what Im doing" with a womans body, despite the fact that Ive never had sex before. I know I may get some crap for saying that but I seriously feel that if I had an attractive and willing woman in front of me, I would know exactly what to do and how to do it right. (I'm of course leaving out the emotional connection that I still hold in very high regard.)
It's an ambitious thought for sure and I realize that personal preference enters into what is and is not pleasurable ... but Ive been told before that knowing how to have sex is hardwired into our brains, that sex is instinctual and we only mess it up because we let our conscious minds and all sorts of external factors affect our sexual performance.
And what's more, my increased desire seems to be reflected in my dealings with women around me because Im suddenly getting a lot more attention from them. Though this may be attributed to my becoming more attuned to the signals they're sending out ... signals that I may have just been ignoring in the past.
All in all, this whole experience is very interesting and over the last several months Ive been on a serious search for a dedicated relationship ... but Im also much more relaxed about casual sexual encounters as well. Of course, my morals and standards are still in place and any relationship or sexual encounter would be treated with the highest levels of love, respect, gratitude and admiration for my partner.
Feel free to comment. Im curious if anyone else has had a similar experience or any insight?
I dont feel that my pseudo abstinence is an artifact of anything "wrong" with me, I just think I held sex in such high regard that kept me from getting into it at a very young age (through high school) and then through college and beyond Ive been fairly isolated from any women at all.
So I think it's partly some unrealistic and misplaced morals coupled with a lack of opportunity that's kept me out of "the game" for so long.
It's not necessarily bad though. Aside from the occasional feeling of loneliness ... I have no STDs, Ive never gotten any woman unintentionally pregnant and I have no bitter ex-girlfriends or traumatic relationships in my past.
But let's get back to the topic at hand ... the weirdest thing has started to happen over the past 2 months and it just keeps getting more pronounced from day to day!
My sex drive has been going through the roof!
Now bear in mind, given the back story, this is REALLY unusual ... and even more than that it's completely foreign to me! I've never felt this way in my life before. (I never had that 18 year old, horny as hell, "fuck anything that walks" kind of experience ... or the collegiate "get drunk as hell and fuck anything that walks" experience ... which is apparently so common.)
Every day, all day, Im sizing up every woman that walks in front of me and all I can think about is having sex with them ... or what it would be like to have sex with them ... or what I would do while having sex with them.
Crotches, asses, breasts, legs, stomachs, necks, arms, backs, lips, hair ... it's like Im suddenly hyper sensitive to anything remotely sexual and when I start to zone in its completely overwhelming. I literally have to distract myself in the gym lately when there's some hot chick working out because I start thinking about her too much and I literally feel like I just want to pounce on her and start making love to her right there on the floor!
Even just writing about it has me squirming in my seat!
It feels like some "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" sort of animal instinct has been switched on inside me and Ive got to fight to keep it under control!
It's an awesome, scary and bizarre sort of feeling.
I would imagine that the reason for this sudden change is both my increase in physical fitness and the improvement in my diet. I've always tried to keep fairly healthy but in the last two months Ive taken it to extremes. I work out heavily 5 or 6 times per week, lots of cardio, stripped all the garbage out of my diet, lost about 15 lbs (61 and 198 lbs), reduced my body fat percentage and put on a fair bit of muscle.
I would have to imagine that this is the primary ... if not only cause of my drastically increased sex drive but I never imagined that such a small change could make such a dramatic difference.
In addition to my hopped up sexual desire, I'm also having reduced anxiety about having sex and increased confidence that I "know what Im doing" with a womans body, despite the fact that Ive never had sex before. I know I may get some crap for saying that but I seriously feel that if I had an attractive and willing woman in front of me, I would know exactly what to do and how to do it right. (I'm of course leaving out the emotional connection that I still hold in very high regard.)
It's an ambitious thought for sure and I realize that personal preference enters into what is and is not pleasurable ... but Ive been told before that knowing how to have sex is hardwired into our brains, that sex is instinctual and we only mess it up because we let our conscious minds and all sorts of external factors affect our sexual performance.
And what's more, my increased desire seems to be reflected in my dealings with women around me because Im suddenly getting a lot more attention from them. Though this may be attributed to my becoming more attuned to the signals they're sending out ... signals that I may have just been ignoring in the past.
All in all, this whole experience is very interesting and over the last several months Ive been on a serious search for a dedicated relationship ... but Im also much more relaxed about casual sexual encounters as well. Of course, my morals and standards are still in place and any relationship or sexual encounter would be treated with the highest levels of love, respect, gratitude and admiration for my partner.
Feel free to comment. Im curious if anyone else has had a similar experience or any insight?
