Raising Sons With Morals

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Principessa, Nov 1, 2009.

  1. Principessa

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    My Pop-pop told his sons not to go around making babies or they would marry the girl. He also told them they better not have a mistress either, because everything they did and bought for the wife they had to do and buy for the mistress and vice versa. Consequently, my father has been faithful to my mother for 46 years of marriage and vice versa.


    It's a shame men like my grandfather are no longer here and morals are as common as hens teeth with todays parents.

    A friend of mine has been buying his 17 year old stepson condoms, so he can screw his 16 year old girlfriend. :eek: IMO the boy needs to get a job and buy his own damned condoms. Or since she is pretty much the town bicycle, she needs to be buying the condoms herself. :angryfire2:

    Bottomline: If you can't afford birth control, then you can't afford to fuck. :cool:

    So how do y'all go about raising your sons and daughters to have morals? :confused:
     
    #1 Principessa, Nov 1, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2009
  2. Gl3nn

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    Let's face it, they're going to have sex anyway, so I would prefer them to do it safe. I guess if you want your son to get someone pregnant or get an STD, then you don't buy him condoms (when he doesn't buy them himself).

    And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't generalise. It's always: men this, men that, ... I don't know what kind of people you know, but I would suggest finding other friends. The men I know ARE faithful and do have morals.

    Fine, people are having sex earlier in life these days, but that certainly goes for women as well.

    So let's get off from this generalised 'all men are bad' track and concentrate on objective matters rather than very narrow-minded personal experiences.
     
  3. Sergeant_Torpedo

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    "They are going to have sex anyway" well that tells us what your moral upbringing and outlook is. Many young people are pressured by the media into immediate sexual gratification, even mom and pop expect it. But where the freedom breaks down is when the consequences arrive. All acts have consequences. I recently approached a very distressed pregnant young woman in the street holding a cell-phone. Her partner had just broken off the relationship; his parents didn't approve of her. I did what I could, making sure she got home safely. But did the wastrels parents disapprove of the young woman before or after she became pregnant with their grandchild. Middle class morality may not stink as much as that of the wealthy, however there are enduring virtues. I have teenage sons, they get up to adventure and mischief but know full well they have to deal with the consequences ethically and responsibly. Those parents who protect and defend their sexually incontinent and iresponsible offspring are the real low lifers in socioety. The originator of this thread is to be commended for their courage. Well done for telling it how it should be.
     
  4. Gl3nn

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    I'm 19 and still a virgin... it's not that difficult to stand up against the pressure. I wish people would just stop making excuses about being pushed into it. Nobody can force you to have sex. If you want it, fine, do it. But don't say you were pushed into it. Those people are just weak. You'll face a lot of harder challenges in life and if you're influenced that easily...not the best outcome...
     
  5. Northland

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    Morals?


    When it comes to sex, if you are as active as you say, then your own morals are none too tight. If you followed your grandfather's teachings, you'd remain virginal until marriage.


    As to the alleged loose morals of the modern day boy and girl, look back in time. Look at history and literature. Adultery existed, children out of wedlock. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne ring a bell? The spare child of Warren G. Harding-one time President of the U.S.A. sound familiar? There used to be homes for unwed mothers-or were those babies all just immaculate conceptions?

    Most people are sexual beings and express their passions with one another. Many also find pleasure in sex and engage with others. Is it immoral to do so without benefit of marriage? If it is, then you are immoral and so am I and so are millions of others.

    With regard to your friend who buys the condoms for his stepson, be proud of him. He is wise enough to know the boy will most likely dip his sausage into the hot sauce well, and this way he can keep the boy from becoming a dad before he is ready and also reduce his chance of contracting various STDs. If your friend doesn't make the buy, then the stepson could conceivably pick up a disease from one girl, then, pass it along to another and while he's at it, get one or both of them pregnant. Kudos and Kindos for his (the stepfather's) caring act.
     
  6. Lex

    Lex
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    I find this automatic connection between sex and morals to be preposterous.

    I was raised with good morals--I was taught to be a good person. Having sex or not having sex have nothing to do with being a good person.

    I bought my own condoms when I became sexually active.

    That being said, my mom once threw a bunch of condoms at me and my male friends as we lounged in my bedroom, reading comics and jamming to music (much to our total embarrassment).

    She was not promoting sex. She was making sure that if we were having sex (some of us were, some of us were not and, no not with each other), we were doing so safely.

    My mom was and is an advocate of arming children and people with information so that the decisions that they make are informed ones.
     
  7. Pendlum

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    So because I also believe that if they are planning on having sex, there is a chance that they will probably have sex without condoms if they can't get them, I'm somehow immoral? Cynical, maybe, immoral, no. This isn't the same thing as touching the stove and getting your hand burnt. STDs can be with you for life, same with pregnancy. It's not like parents are giving condoms to their kids and going "Here you go buddy, go out there and find yourself a fuck." They say "If you HAVE to have sex, at least use this, but think about it carefully." Or something to that effect. Teenagers aren't adults, so just telling them about consequences isn't the only or best option. These aren't normal consequences, when it is done, it is pretty much game over. They don't have that foresight usually, and a lot of teenagers have that "I'm invincible, it wont happen to me" mentality. I think it is completely unfair for you to condemn the parents who are protecting their child's livelyhood by preparing them for safe sex if they are going to have it.
     
  8. vince

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    Perhaps if those teenagers parents had provided condoms and some education, she wouldn't have been in distress and her life would have proceeded in a way that made her happy.

    Parents who protect their children from making sexual mistakes are not low lifers or people of "low morals". I hope your children make it through their teenage years without making a mistake. Mine did and believe me, she was fully informed and had the wherewithal to purchase condoms if needed. But if she had made a mistake and gotten pregnant or contracted a STD, I shouldn't have "protected and defended" her? What, kicked her out? Send her to a home for unwed mothers?

    Well done to NJ for telling it how it should be? What? Sorry NJ, but you engaged your fingers before your brain was fully up to speed. Have some coffee! Do you really think your grandpa's reasoning was moral?? Don't take a mistress because it's expensive?? "Everything you do for the mistress, you'll have do for the wife", is not a reason for not cheating.

    Kids are going to have sex. I did at too young an age and the only "education" I got was from my brothers. Didn't use condoms because the ones you could buy at the gas station for a quarter didn't fit over my fatty without breaking. It was just dumb luck no girl got preggers or caught STD from me. By the way, my morals were, and are just fine. Being a horny teenager and having sex isn't immoral.
     
  9. nudeyorker

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    I think this could apply to raising a boy or a girl.
    Don't give them everything they want when they want it.
    Don't fight their battles for them.
    When they become of age, (16) make them get a job.
    While they are living at home, make them contribute to the household duties.
    Teach them right from wrong by example.
    If they are living at home past the age of 18 make them pay rent and household expenses.
    Teach them how to think for themselves that every action has a consequence and all situations have resolutions.
    It worked on our family.
     
  10. Principessa

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  11. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    My parents did the best that they knew how. I was warned about being gay at the age of 8 when I came home from school using the word "queer".

    Things are very different now, yet all together the same. To quote Alice Walker's character Ciely from the Color Purple: "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

    It's about doing the best you can for yourself. Placing needless judgments on situations, choices in sex partners (gay or str8) never works. The focus on self preservation needs to be primary motivating factor for parents today. Using your head and not your libido can literally save your life.

    My folks were worried that being gay would cause me unnecessary grief in life, thinking it was the worst thing a person could be. During that time, if you did not even pass for str8 you were cursed to a life of misery and nonacceptance by society. Those issues seem to be the least of our worries.

    Now days, kids can contract something that does not wash off or go away and it can eventually kill you.
     
  12. HazelGod

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    Honestly, it's not moralism or prudishness...it's your braying, often ignorant, and frequently hypocritical judgmentalism that gets you lambasted.

    Pretty much the entire content and tone of your OP here is a good case in point.
     
  13. B_Nick8

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    I'm surprised anyone can even make sense of this thread.
     
  14. luka82

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    I agree!
    First and only thing that worries me in this thread, and in this fucking world alone, is HOW COME CONDOMS ARE NOT FREE!????:eek:
    I honestly don`t think having sex has a lot to do with morals!
    It does when we talk about promiscuity, but having sex with your GF at the age of 17 who u may love or may not, but u are fateful to, in my opinion has nothing to do with moral!:smile:
     
  15. chicagosam

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    Raising your sons with morals?

    In all fairness this then should include raising your daughters with morals, too.

    How about this? Be an active and involved parent (not friend) raising your children with a sense of what is appropriate in life; how to appropriately, respectfully, and fairly treat others; and the personal and social skills that will get them successfully and safely through life.

    "Morals" is a term I associate with the ranting of self-righteous religious bigots.
     
  16. Northland

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    You don't say?:rolleyes:

    Yes, I have read your posts. I don't find you to be a prude. Ill-informed at times. Judgemental, often (then again, so am I at times). Moralistic? Um, I think we have exhibit A in your OP here. Among other things, you have judged all parents out there who have children growing up right now. You have labeled them all. Odd thing is my nieces and nephews are all quite polite, moral-as in honest and hard working, both in their studies and in part time jobs (those old enough for jobs) and those who are adults and finished with schooling, hold full time jobs and are law abiding and decent folk. Many parents are doing wonderful jobs, raising their children with morals, dignity and sense of being and belonging. They have taught their children to be honest, helpful (and brave, clean, thrifty and reverent) among other things. Highlight some of them instead of only the ones you have decided are failing society. Still not sure who you think is failing- is it your friend? The stepson? The young lady he's taken to being with?

    And by the way-you justify your having been with multiple partners after your rape (and I am truly sorry that happened to you); yet, you have no compassion for Susan who was molested by the stepfather and then thrown out of her home. Double standards are not considered a good moral virtue-what woud your grandfather think? Try to remember what your emotional state was, and you had not been thrown out of your home, you still had two parents who were together through thick and thin-she clearly doesn't have that.

    People in past ages have led immoral lives and people shook their heads at the terrible state of things. Yes, even in your grandfathers time, people stole, people had babies without benefit of marriage, all manner of things happened. Of course back then, it was kept hush-hush.

    I had a job at age 7. Okay, it wasn't on the books it was a weather related job. I had my working papers (which was actually a card) at age 14 because I could get it at that age and I was so delightedly anxious to work.

    Here's the thing, I had the job. I had the cash. I knew nothing about condoms. I found myself at 16 staring at the rite of marriage because I had somehow (neither of us knew how:rolleyes:) gotten Angie pregnant. I was a good kid, and so was Angie. Angie was a top student, worked part time at a place down on Hylan Boulevard, and was everything you'd list for a good girl to be. None of our goodness kept us from trying out this fantastic idea of sex. None of our goodness-she was in the Newman Club at school and on the anti-drug team, and I gave 2/3 of my wages to my mother and grandfather for home expenses-kept Angie from getting pregnant.

    You see, nobody talked to us about pregnancy or birth controls. We sort of knew they existed, we had heard whispers. If the child had been born-she miscarried in the 3rd trimester-we would have continued into the parental requested (as in ordered) marriage. A marriage which probably would have been doomed. Education would have taken a back seat and low paying jobs would have led to resentment and anger and probably a messy divorce.

    I miss that little child that we were going to have every day of my life, however, I wish there had been someone such as your friend to give me the information before things happened. I got the information afterwards-which in case you didn't know, is too late. This young man that you are writing of has been given a form of protection. It doesn't matter much who brings the protection to the sexual encounter or who pays for it, the most important part is that it is there. It doesn't matter what you or anyone else thinks of the girl he is involved with, he has a form of protection and in that process so does she. Think of what would happen if your friend didn't give his stepson condoms and maybe Susan didn't bother getting them either. Pregnancy! Disease! DEADLY DISEASE! How'd you feel at the gravesite burying your friend's stepson when he died of some STD, because nobody cared enough to offer him a condom? Jeez, use your damned head for once woman. Somebody did something good and you go off on a moralistc rant.
     
  17. Drifterwood

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    I have been amoral for some time. I find it more honest.
     
  18. chicagosam

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    Some? More like a lifetime avocation.:biggrin1:
     
  19. Drifterwood

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    Thank you, Sam. I once sang in the Church Choir. The Priest was a bit dodgy though.
     
  20. chicagosam

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    Ah, nothing like an all male Anglican church choir. Countertenor suits you well.

    At least, you had a "heavenly" first experience. Was that part of your Evelyn Waugh phase?
     
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