Random acts of Evil

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Dr. Dilznick, Mar 31, 2006.

  1. Dr. Dilznick

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    I had to combat the purity and pride of all the "appreciation" threads with an ode to the darker side of life. Have you ever done something fucked just to be a young scorching asshole? Lord knows I have, but now I'm grown (and sexy).

    Share your tales.
     
  2. rawbone8

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    street fights are sad and ugly affairs

    I busted a guy's front teeth out of his mouth when I was a teen
     
  3. windtalkerways

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    I lied to get in to a movie
    when I was underage...:wink:
     
  4. Matthew

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    Years ago when I was a waiter, I had a customer who was being a royal prick. I spit in his salad before carrying it out to him.
     
  5. windtalkerways

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    MORAL OF THE STORY:

    Always be nice to the waiter!:biggrin1:
     
  6. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    I was one too many moons ago. It's truly unwise to be unkind to the help. A fellow waiter of mine in retaliation for some nasty customer slipped his finger into his underwear (where precisely I won't say) and then stirred the clam chowder with it.

    We just stood at the waiter's station and watched.


    ... oh. It was in Provincetown too. That's all the info I'm giving.
     
  7. PussyWellington

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    When I was nineteen I went to Eqypt on vacation with a girlfriend. After a couple of days of too much local male attention combined with constipation (yep, I'm probably the only person in the world who got constipated in Egypt) I started getting very peeved off.

    We went into a jewellery shop and spied a ring that I liked. Sure I had enough money to buy it but it seemed like a better idea to steal it. I put it on my finger and flipped the scarab around towards my palm. I was riding the high now and decided to go for the matching earrings. I put the earrings in and wandered around the shop for a few minutes, then walked out of the shop. We weren't far up the road when the shop owner came running up behind me calling "Lady, Lady". I pretended that I had forgotten them, oh silly me. I gave him back the earrings and continued up the road with the ring.

    I still have the ring to this day and the funny thing is that the few times I have been to a claivoyant they have remarked that this ring is very special and that I should be very careful to never lose it.
     
  8. b.c.

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    Not yet...but i'm making a list.
     
  9. SpeedoGuy

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    Not too long ago at a crowded sporting event I encountered an obnoxiously large Ford pickup truck parked in such a way as to occupy not one, not two, not three but fourparking slots. I guess the driver somehow felt entitled to occupy more spaces than anyone else.

    So, I let the air out of all four tires. Flat.
     
  10. Chuck64

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    Back in high school, all of the classrooms had a little black button by the door. The purpose of this button was to page the office (usually to call security when two breeders on a testosterone high decided to beat the living shit out of each other) This button was strictly off limits to students.

    They also had a policy where students who met a few requirements could be exampt from final exams. One of the requirements was that you couldn't have any disciplinary issues in your file. One day before final exams started my senior year, I pressed the button and blamed it on another guy. If it weren't for me, he would have been exempt from his exams. He ended up failing a required class and had to take summer school before he could graduate.
     
  11. windtalkerways

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    :eek: OMG...was that you, Speedo! :tongue:
     
  12. D_alex8

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    I normally try to respond with reason and sarcasm to deal with people who are pissing me off. However, I do recall one occasion late at night in London (England) where there was a guy on the top deck of a double-decker bus who was hurling racial abuse at two women. It's entirely possible that the reason he fell down the hard stairs very awkwardly was because I pushed him. In fact, I'd say that's absolutely certainly what happened.
     
  13. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    But that is Delivering Justice Alex. Not evil at all:rolleyes:

    I am a good boy, and I have yet to do anything evil:biggrin1:
     
  14. SSBBW4BigFun

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    If that's not an invitation for corruption, I dunno what is...lol
     
  15. madame_zora

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    I'm a good girl now, but I USED to be evil. Once when I was waiting tables I had an obnoxious group of businessmen, they had separate checkes, and one in particular was bugging me to death. He'd keep waiting until after I got back with things and ask for "just one more thing" about five times. I finally came back with a tray of 8 glasses of ice water, and they accidently landed in his lap. Honestly, I don't know how it happened.

    Funny enough, he ended up leaving me a $20 tip, I think he got the point.
     
  16. D_Adoniah Sheervolume

    D_Adoniah Sheervolume Account Disabled

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    as someone else said about someone else's act: that's not evil, it's justice!

    i did a big nightclub no-no one evening many years ago:

    the song "gloria" was hot, the dancefloor was packed, and the annoying little straight dj at hula's (yup sorcerer) hated *anything* that was popular. in fact, he put a little note up on the dj booth: "yes, i WILL play gloria." when he finally got 'round to it, he played the intro of the 12" version, literally, 5 times. imagine, you're getting all wound up, then BAM, back to the beginning.

    anyway, i got pissed, wended my way from the back of the dancefloor to the dj booth, and hit the glass dj wall once, very firmly, with my fist. this caused the needle to pop right off the record, bringing the night to a screeching halt.

    you would've thought the president had been shot at. security guys immediately materialized, the manager came running up, etc... i blended with the crowd, and noted that the dj behaved himself for the rest of the evening...
     
  17. AlteredEgo

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    I opened the gas tank of my guidance counselor's car, and sprinkled sugar around the outside of the nozzle. I dumped some sugar on the ground. I left an empty bag which once contained five pounds of sugar tucked against her rear wheel. Not being an idiot, she had the car towed without starting it. For nothing. We rejoiced.
     
  18. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Whoa ho-ho-ho there, MZ! Nice shot!:wink: :biggrin1:

    In all seriousness tho, when i worked at my HS for the summer cleaning it up for fall, one of the janitors I worked with turned out to an insufferable prick. So, while cleaning up the shop classrooms, I grabbed a bunch of nice large shiny nails laying on the ground, and after work I jammmed 'em under his truck tire. Not surprisingly, 2 days later he came in late. When he was asked what kept him, he simply said he had to get new tires.

    Another time I temped at this clothing retail warehouse and dealt with this idiot of a boss who I just had no patience for as she was petty, rude, & bi polar as all hell. Knowing full well I wasn't going back there, I liberated a label from a box & taped it onto the back of her good leather jacket while she was busy.

    It read simply;FRAGILE:HANDLE WITH CARE!!
     
  19. Matthew

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    I've committed numerous random acts of evil, here's another.

    When I lived in Atlanta, there was this groovy little restaurant on a corner near my house called the Flying Biscuit. On weekends, throngs of horrible people from the suburbs used to flock in and wait in long lines for hours outside, clogging up the neighborhood in the process. Every time I passed, I thought vindictive, hateful thoughts.

    I had a huge party for my 30th birthday and friends from all over the country came in for the festivities. I decided it was the perfect moment to hatch my villainous plot. We planned it all the way down to legal advice, observers on the corners and a little girl whose job was to distract the police if they arrived.

    A group of friends and I donned masks & wigs and set out to drive by in a station wagon. As we passed the restaurant, we leaned out the window chanting "Yuppies Soak!" When we turned the corner, we completely doused everyone standing in line with super soakers, water balloons and other weapons of mass saturation. The last thing I remember seeing as we drove away was some poor sod in a polo shirt and khakis wiping the water out of his eyes.

    Yup, true story.
     
  20. Dr. Dilznick

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    One time my boy was fucking with this Indian girl who had a nice ass house in the suburbs, so we mob 20 deep out there and throw a nigger festival. Motherfuckers were breaking open her brother's piggy bank, snatching DVD's and DVD players straight out off the shelf, drinking vintage wine, etc. One of my boys was an aspiring pimp and had this teenage runaway nerd looking white girl with big ass titties. Motherfuckers were standing in line outside the Indian's girl's parents' bedroom to tear her walls down. Here's the fucking kicker though... we're in her father's closet taking his shoes and shirts and my boy find this shoebox..

    FILLED WITH 20+ POLAROIDS OF DADDY HOLDING HIS ERECT DICK


    I can relate. Keyed a spotless S-Class Mercedes once and spit on the windshield.
     
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