Rant about people having kids

[marleyisalegend]

It never ceases to amaze me how people spend more time planning their outfit for the club than they spend planning to have kids. Matter of fact, they don't plan to have kids. They're either not careful and accidently end up with one, or they wake up and decide "Hey, I'm gonna have some babies!"

I have a friend in Chicago, he lives with his girlfriend and her parents. She tells me she might be pregnant, I'm think a condom broke. Nope, they've been TRYING to have kids. First of all, their relationship is the typical whirlwind puppy-dog romance. Beyond that, they can barely afford to keep their phones turned on. How are you planning on having a kid when nothing in your life is stable? They're unhappy living with her parents, so are they going to pack up their baby and buy a house on, what, credit? They don't have enough to make a deposit for a light bill let alone their own crib.

A baby isn't some little doll you can dress up in Sean Jean and show off to the neighbors, babies are expensive. Neither of them have a dime saved up, so what are you going to do when your baby graduates high-school and don't have 2 cents to spend on a college education? What if, halfway through the pregnancy, you decide you don't want to be together anymore? Both of you have expressed doubts in the relationship, so how do you go from that to "We're having a baby"?

I'm sick and tired of people reproducing like it's no big deal. I just wish people knew how much they're screwin' up the world by irresponsibly bringing children in it that they're ill-equipped to raise properly. The little bastard you bring into the world today is going to be robbing me in 15 years so PLEASE stop treating reproduction like it's a sitcom where any problems that are introduced meet a happy ending in 20 minutes.

Rant over, that is all.

 

[Principessa]

In north Georgia they have accurately been able to keep up with the prison population by charting the drop out rate and low test scores. It seems a certain percentage of low scorers on standardized tests end up dropping out in later years. Of those drop-outs, a significant number end up doing time. I'm not sure what the equation is exactly; but they rarely have the overcrowding in their county jails that I remember in New Jersey.

 

[curiomeerkat]

I'm with you on that one completely - there are far too many immature people having kids these days, they don't give themselves enough time to grow up, experience life and why are they always so damn fertile?? It's never just one or two, they pop them out like rabbits!

Good rant though, have you considered running for president?? :biggrin1:

 

[marleyisalegend]

Just a warning for people living near Chicago, these knuckleheads are NOT prepared to raise a kid, so this little bastard might be robbing you in about 15 years. Watch your wallets and purses.

 

[heavy-chevy]

A picture perfect example of some of the people I remember from my high school graduating class. I've been out of high school for only 6 years now and I can name atleast 4 people I knew who are now married and either expecting a kid or have already had one. It's a dam shame how some people don't plan ahead.

 

[marleyisalegend]

A picture perfect example of some of the people I remember from my high school graduating class. I've been out of high school for only 6 years now and I can name atleast 4 people I knew who are now married and either expecting a kid or have already had one. It's a dam shame how some people don't plan ahead.

Yup. It REALLY pisses me off that you have to be TRAINED to flip a burger but anybody can have a kid. This world is so fucking backwards sometimes.

 

[Jason]

Don't know much about the US position on this, but in the UK we now have more than half of babies born out of wedlock, which is more or less saying more than half born into benefit dependency.

It is an enormous problem for the kids, but also for society. Mums treat having kids as a right and expect the state to fund, and it does.

I did hear a story around condom-failure from a university-educated friend who got his girl-friend pregnant by accident (and had a nervous breakdown as a consequence). Accidents do happen. But most babies in the UK are conceived by couples who make a decision not to use birth control and are happy for the state to fund all subsequent costs.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

A woman next door to us has 8 babies from 5 different fathers. She's big as a refrigerator and acts like a vending machine

 

[DaveyR]

Another angle on this are the parents who can afford kids but have no wish to make any adjustment in their lifestyle. Particularly the social side of it. Recipe for disaster

Have been in a stable, committed relatioship for well over 20 years I'd love to have kids and we could adopt. We discussed it many times and decided we are far too selfish and would not be prepared to make the scarifices in our lives to put the kid first and foremost so it's a no brainer. Pity a lot more did not fully consider it before embarking on starting a family and fully consider the implications.

In the UK young women are unwittingly encouraged to randomly reproduce by the welfare system. The more kids a single woman has the more she gets in handouts and housing benefits. Many of them are better off than folks working tough jobs. But when the welfare system is as it is you can understand why they do it.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

Another angle on this are the parents who can afford kids but have no wish to make any adjustment in their lifestyle. Particularly the social side of it. Recipe for disaster

Have been in a stable, committed relatioship for well over 20 years I'd love to have kids and we could adopt. We discussed it many times and decided we are far too selfish and would not be prepared to make the scarifices in our lives to put the kid first and foremost so it's a no brainer. Pity a lot more did not fully consider it before embarking on starting a family and fully consider the implications.

In the UK young women are unwittingly encouraged to randomly reproduce by the welfare system. The more kids a single woman has the more she gets in handouts and housing benefits. Many of them are better off than folks working tough jobs. But when the welfare system is as it is you can understand why they do it.

Its the same in the US with the welfare system too. You are right in everything you say.

 

[DaveyR]

Its the same in the US with the welfare system too. You are right in everything you say.

I hadn't realised it was so similar there in that respect Mr S.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

I hadn't realised it was so similar there in that respect Mr S.

Yes. It seems to be getting worse.

 

[Runco]

Don't know much about the US position on this, but in the UK we now have more than half of babies born out of wedlock, which is more or less saying more than half born into benefit dependency.

It is an enormous problem for the kids, but also for society. Mums treat having kids as a right and expect the state to fund, and it does.

I did hear a story around condom-failure from a university-educated friend who got his girl-friend pregnant by accident (and had a nervous breakdown as a consequence). Accidents do happen. But most babies in the UK are conceived by couples who make a decision not to use birth control and are happy for the state to fund all subsequent costs.

What exactly are you saying when you say 'benefit dependency'? Are you suggesting that all children born out of wedlock are born to mothers who end up on benefits?

 

[DaveyR]

What exactly are you saying when you say 'benefit dependency'? Are you suggesting that all children born out of wedlock are born to mothers who end up on benefits?

I can't speak for Jason but my take on it is that many single women in the UK have kids with the intent of getting benefits.

That was one of the many reasons why I left the UK. More and more was and is beng taken from those who word hard and given to those who have no intention of ever supporting themselves. I believe in a decent welfare system but not one that means people are better of by not working and providing for themselves.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

It has to mentioned the blame must be put on the fathers who simply skip town and dont provide for the children they have fathered. The man is a big part of the problem too.

 

[Runco]

I can't speak for Jason but my take on it is that many single women in the UK have kids with the intent of getting benefits.

That was one of the many reasons why I left the UK. More and more was and is beng taken from those who word hard and given to those who have no intention of ever supporting themselves. I believe in a decent welfare system but not one that means people are better of by not working and providing for themselves.

Women may have got away with this once upon a time but now lone parents have to go on Jobseeker's Allowance. They have to sign on. And they have to seek work once their children are at nursery/school. The problem area is those women who have more than one child with the same partner and who persist in presenting themselves as lone parents. These tend to be women who have been on benefits for a number of years and have learned how to work the system.

That said, I am not convinced that all women who are having babies out of wedlock end up on benefits (which is what Jason seems to be suggesting with the stats he is quoting). SOME of them will end up in the system but equally, many of them work and many of them are in monogamous relationships with a partner who also works - they just happen to live with their partners.

 

[DaveyR]

Women may have got away with this once upon a time but now lone parents have to go on Jobseeker's Allowance. They have to sign on. And they have to seek work once their children are at nursery/school. The problem area is those women who have more than one child with the same partner and who persist in presenting themselves as lone parents. These tend to be women who have been on benefits for a number of years and have learned how to work the system.

Well I'm glad that that is one thing that has changed for the better since I left 3 years ago.

That said, I am not convinced that all women who are having babies out of wedlock end up on benefits (which is what Jason seems to be suggesting with the stats he is quoting). SOME of them will end up in the system but equally, many of them work and many of them are in monogamous relationships with a partner who also works - they just happen to live with their partners.

Perhaps out of wedlock was the wrong term to use. Many babies are of course born to couples living together who are not married. I don't think these were the ones Jason was referring to but he'll need to clarify that of course.

 

[Jason]

What exactly are you saying when you say 'benefit dependency'? Are you suggesting that all children born out of wedlock are born to mothers who end up on benefits?

Not all. There are single mums who work, or guys who support their partners and ex-partners although they are not married. But most (=well over half - there are government statistics which you could find) of single mums do little or no work, with the result that they and their children are supported through the benefit system. This represents a lack of opportunity for the kids, and a real problem for the state that has to fund.

 

[Runco]

It has to mentioned the blame must be put on the fathers who simply skip town and dont provide for the children they have fathered. The man is a big part of the problem too.

I agree. I am so sick of hearing lame excuses. Even my former brother in law did the 'she said she was on the pill' bullshit in relation to a girlfriend that he got pregnant after getting divorced from his wife. I would not mind but the writing was always on the wall - the woman already had six kids before he came along! His family are behaving as though she tricked him but he was the bigger idiot because what kind of fool gets in bed with a woman with that many kids without a condom to hand?

Anyway he has just split with this woman and he has a daughter with her aged 1. I hope he does the right thing but he already has two kids with his ex-wife (they parted acrimoniously) and he has now split with this woman (again, in acrimony) so who knows?

All of that said, it's time women stopped being so damned stupid. The pill gave us the ability to take control of our fertility. This means we can afford to pick and choose our men with care. Do we? Do we hell as like! Some women are still content to have a man who leaves the state to pick up the slack for them...and that is just lame. More fool them is all I can say.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

I agree. I am so sick of hearing lame excuses. Even my former brother in law did the 'she said she was on the pill' bullshit in relation to a girlfriend that he got pregnant after getting divorced from his wife. I would not mind but the writing was always on the wall - the woman already had six kids before he came along! His family are behaving as though she tricked him but he was the bigger idiot because what kind of fool gets in bed with a woman with that many kids without a condom to hand?

Anyway he has just split with this woman and he has a daughter with her aged 1. I hope he does the right thing but he already has two kids with his ex-wife (they parted acrimoniously) and he has now split with this woman (again, in acrimony) so who knows?

All of that said, it's time women stopped being so damned stupid. The pill gave us the ability to take control of our fertility. This means we can afford to pick and choose our men with care. Do we? Do we hell as like! Some women are still content to have a man who leaves the state to pick up the slack for them...and that is just lame. More fool them is all I can say.

I just had to mention that. Its very unfair and wrong to lay the total blame on the woman. Men who dont provide for their children should be in jail.