Ah! This is a subject I've been interested in since reading some rather charming Victorian "bodice rippers" in my teens.
It's a difficult thing, I think, for some people to admit to wanting this and for others to understand fully as there are obviously certain connotations and assumptions where the word "Rape" is concerned. Ravishment is a much better term for the fantasy but these days, not many people use it.
In erotic fiction dealing with this subject, the underlying themes are of power, subjugation and domination. I think though, that the unmentioned and really important one is trust.
Increasingly, in today's society, trust is becoming a lacking thing. Not only in relationships but more generally as well. Marriage contracts, pre-nups etc... and especially (already brought up in this topic) that if you are a man and were to indulge in a Ravishment/Rape fantasy, there's a possibility of someone calling it the real thing and serious repercussions resulting. To me, that's an extremely horrible thing for someone to have to consider but the reality of it exists so honest discussion beforehand, caution in planning and a mutually agreed safe word must always be advised.
Considering what's been said about the reasons as to why a woman would fantasize about this and possibly make that fantasy a reality, cbrmale made a really good point when he said:
"We in the West have been good as supressing female sexuality, and we still to, the term slut for example. But you can't be a slut in the ravishment fantasy, because it's all out of your control."
Sex is something to be enjoyed, by everyone both male and female. Unfortunately there are still many people who'd consider a woman who is open about her desire to have sex and who achieves that desire, to be a slut. And not simply, as is the case, a woman who enjoys physical interaction.
From a personal point of view, I've entertained Ravishment fantasies for many years. They've never been about getting genuinely hurt, physically abused or even about being belittled as a woman. There's a submissive aspect certainly, and honestly... Yes, being used as an object for sex but in a way that provides pleasure for both the people involved and not something that's single-sided.
I'd never agree to do something like that with someone whom I didn't trust implicitly, it's like making a secret gift of your body to another person and there's no damn way that should be done if there's a chance of genuine harm either physical, mental or emotional occurring.
And back to trust for my last point; people are so full of worry when it comes to getting hurt emotionally, especially within relationships. After all, it's the mental and emotional pain which is the longest lasting when something goes wrong. So, in some cases, indulging a Ravishment fantasy would allow for sex with someone whom you may not trust with your love and emotions but you can trust not to hurt you physically.
Example being, sex with someone who's extremely physically attractive but is otherwise a total scoundrel.
Sex is a natural and extremely pleasurable act and this particular fantasy relates to the base desires of both women and men. Sometimes, women want to have a powerful man who is totally in control of her physically and I think men can appreciate having that power and being able to use it.
A shame but perhaps understandable, that some people would consider anyone who has this fantasy to have it for the wrong reasons or assume that it's only there because of some past traumatic experience. But I think that if people are honest about their fantasies and there's open communication between the bearer of them and whoever they'd like to indulge with, there's no reason as to why a Ravishment fantasy cannot be encouraged, explored and fully enjoyed.
