Rape fantasies

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Kevbo, Feb 2, 2008.

  1. Kevbo

    Kevbo Member

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    First, before I ask my question, I want to state unequivocally that I think "rape" is a horrible word and a horrible crime, and that even relentlessly pressuring a date (or S.O.) for sex can reprehensibly cross the line in many cases, especially if vulnerable people are subjected to guilt trips and peer pressure.

    So, with a somewhat tremulous voice :redface:, I ask the women here:

    Do you have a particular fantasy, when you masturbate or perhaps as a common skit with your partner, where you are raped? I ask because I've heard that many women do, and I've always wondered about the inhibitions being addressed in the fantasy. And I'm wondering if the women here on this forum, because of their general interest in sex, are perhaps more aggressive sexually in RL, and how that might affect their fantasy lives.

    A few thoughts -- please correct as necessary:
    - Is "rape" even the right term for these fantasies? Would "highly aggressive sex while being restrained" be more accurate?
    - Is "willingness" an important factor in the fantasy? Does it only "work" if the sex is against your will?
    - Is the man in the fantasy someone you know personally, someone you don't know personally (but is perhaps a celebrity), or perhaps some faceless stranger? I'm not asking for names, just categorization.
    - In my experience, trust is the most important thing a man has to resolve with a woman before she will have sex with him. All couples are different on this, and in my past I've been in relationships that have moved at very different speeds, and what I read here matches my general experience: there are some women here who are "fast" :rolleyes:, but most want some kind of relationship before the sex begins. With all that said, are "rape" fantasies a kind of rebellion against RL issues such as trust, which is important but can be time-consuming and emotionally-draining?

    Sorry for being so long-winded -- I'm trying to be really careful with how I state things, because believe me I sure don't want to offend anyone on this issue. However, one final question for the women which may be offensive (and is not meant to be):

    Do you have a fantasy where you, by some definition, "rape" someone?


    (If anyone wants to share thoughts on this, I do appreciate and respect it, and I hope no one will sit in judgment on personal fantasies rendered here for discussion.)

    Thanks,
    Kevin
     
  2. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    If you will permit me, kevbo:

    Rape:
    1. The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse.
    I think you are referring to the fantasy of someone coming into a female's bedroom, getting rough with the female while she tries to defend herself. For it to be rape, it would have to be unwilling for one of the people in the situation. I'd go with the term/idea "Agressive role-play sex with some light bondage"

    I imagine that there are people here who enjoy this act but as mentioned above, you would really have to be close with your partner and trust them very much for this sexual act to NOT overstep some sort of boundary.

    One might even get into some sort of Submissive/Dominant Role. I really hope certain people post on this thread, as they are much better at this area of sexual exploration than I.

    My opinion? Rough sex is fantastic provided the two parties are willing. However, you don't want my opinon, you want to know if there are women out there who share the idea that rough sex is fantastic.
     
  3. WellHung83

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    I think those type of fantasies are more along the lines of the fantasy of someone wanting to loose ultimate control of the situation and thus be only able to focus on what is happening to them at that moment with their bodies and what their partner is going to do to them. Its not so much the 'rape' ( hate that term too for this ) but the fact that you are becoming a total and utter slave to the sexual feelings and emotions because you are literally forced to notice them and nothing else.
     
  4. Act2_Begins_Now

    Act2_Begins_Now New Member

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    There was a thread on this sometime ago and OP was ridiculed for suggesting this same thing and I believe he went as far as saying that he thought women had the fantasy and that it was very erotic.

    I think the key word is fantasy. Yes, I find a rape fantasy very arousing. Have I masturbated to such a fantasy? No.

    For me, it has nothing to do with aggressive sex.

    Yes, the thought of it being against my will ... to a point ... because it is fantasy is what makes it erotic for me.

    Again, in fantasy it is a stranger. Without a doubt I would be absolutely horrified if I was ever raped in real life. And I think it is one of the worst crimes, but there is something about the fantasy that is so arousing.

    Hmm, for me it is more about a man being so consumed with wanting me he cannot help himself. Real rape is ugly and a power play.
     
  5. Kevbo

    Kevbo Member

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    Appreciate the input. I think there are all kinds of gradations (degradations? not to be flip) of "rape" fantasies. I've read accounts from women (in clinical settings, not fanfic porn) who really do have fantasies about being raped in the criminal sense -- the very thing that we prosecute in RL. And I've read of all kinds of rape fantasy variations, many headed toward dom/sub territory or having something to do with having wild sex with a sexy stranger and not worrying about getting pregnant or an STD. I'm wondering how the women here see this, since it seems many here are "big game hunters" (to quote someone's sig) who aggressively seek out well-hung guys. Not too many demure preachers' daughters here, by my estimation :rolleyes:. (I wonder if fantasies tend towards the opposite of personality types -- if quiet women have the most outrageous fantasies, etc.)

    Cheers,
    Kevbo
     
  6. B_Bette

    B_Bette New Member

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    Of course women have rape fantasies, and most likely, due to past traumas. A way of working it out.

    The Lesbian Sex Mafia "performs" rape at a woman's request. Even though she doesn't know when or where, she know it will happen, is prepared, and therefore has even a small amount of control over it, which is the exact opposite of the heinous real crime she endured previously.

    Rape/sexual abuse are horribly traumatic events in a women's lives. Do not ever judge a woman for how she heals from it. If this includes a rape fantasy, then it just does.

    S/M also has its roots in trauma or abuse of some sort, whether one is conscious of it or not.
     
  7. D_Sue Ellen Brastretcher

    D_Sue Ellen Brastretcher Account Disabled

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    I have debated posting in this thread since it was started. I really did not know there was a Lesbian Sex Mafia. As the mother of two young girls I of course am repulsed by the thought of rape. As someone who attends twice monthly meetings at the Sexual Assault Survivors Support Group I am repulsed by sex crimes. I can't judge people's sexual preferences. Some people like sex to involve urine and feces and I guess some may have this rape fantasy. I don't have rape fantasies. I however may have some sort of sexual assault flashbacks and nightmares and always the reminder of being depressed and overdosing. In the bedroom I would not be opposed to being tied up and blindfolded but only with someone I was extremely comfortable with and who understands the words "no" and "stop".
     
  8. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Personally, I have never had a fantasy even similar to this. I couldn't even fathom getting sexually aroused from thoughts of that.
     
  9. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    For me i don't regard it is as 'rape' because i am a willing, even if a hesitant participant but i do have a fantasy about being 100% dominated by a stranger
     
  10. whatireallywant

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    Same here...

    I have fantasies, but nothing like a "rape fantasy"...
     
  11. Principessa

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    To me there is no difference between a rape fantasy and a gang bang fantasy. They both involve non-consensual sex.

    Now I do enjoy rough sex sometimes but not as part of some bizarre fantasy where I have no control. :cool:

    Same here.





     
  12. walla99

    walla99 New Member

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    Once again, an interesting thread. I don't have rape fantasies. However, I do often have some fantasies that involved being dominated. In real life, in real situations, I have found I get aroused when it there is some feeling of not having control, of being forced. But like someone else pointed out, I am really willing and understanding of the situation but am role-playing that I don't want to. Obviously, real rape is scary and abhorrent.

    I once experimented with these feelings with a boyfriend I had in college. I don't remember how we even talked about it. I remember telling him I liked it. He would (gently) throw me on the bed and start things with me and I would say no and push him off and he would persist. And I got off on it. We both did. We only did this once or twice but it was not a good situation because our relationship was complicated (mostly sexual and I wanted more than that but was too young to know what I was getting into. I was 18.) and I didn't have a very good self esteem at the time. We really needed to be in a more trusting, loving, relationship to do that kind of play.

    I don't know why I enjoy it. I haven't been raped, although I've been in some unsavory situations that some might call rape. (both people drunk but consenting). If anything, it bothers me that I enjoy it. Recently, if my boyfriend puts his hand on my neck and holds me down, (gently of course) I like it. I would still like to experiment more with this with the right person but it's something I wouldn't talk about with just anyone.
     
  13. Smaccoms

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    I think what you might be trying to get at (I might be wrong) is power exchange, or BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, seudo-masichism [yes, wrong spelling])
     
  14. new_n_curious

    new_n_curious New Member

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    I have fantasies about stranger sex, in the dark etc but its always consensual.
     
  15. TheRob

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    extreamly common fantacy actually
     
  16. ManlyBanisters

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    Non-consensual sex has never been part of my array of personal fantasies. I enjoy both rough sex and light restraint both in fantasy and fact, but that really isn't the same thing because consent is always given.

    I have read a lot of erotic literature that involves scenes of a woman (or man) being subjected to sex acts against her (or his) will and being aroused up to and including orgasm, despite herself (or himself). I find those scenes arousing but I don't recall having painted them in my mind myself or pictured myself as the 'victim'.

    I can only extrapolate from that kind of literature and my reaction to it that that is what someone who has rape fantasies of their own, involving themselves, is turned on by. The fact that they could be aroused to point of orgasm despite themselves.

    Actual rape is, of course, non-consensual and really the fantasy can't get translated into reality because you can't consent to being raped - you can fake it, but you can't do it.
     
  17. whatireallywant

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    This sounds more like a BDSM fantasy. You might want to look into that some more. :smile: BDSM if consentual and with safe words is fine with me.
     
  18. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    Lots of girls have rape fantasies. One of the traumas of rape victims is that some of them enjoyed it in some small way. This is one of the causes of suicide in rape victims. The paradox of something horrific being even the tiniest bit enjoyable.

    I knew a girl who had a rape fantasy...she was a nice Latina chica. I think rape is a logical (albeit extreme) extension of the wanting to be pinned down/dominated fantasy/kink.
     
  19. Damian Johnson

    Damian Johnson New Member

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    Dude my rape fantasy involves 3 lpsg members
    Primal savage monster and rico
    They are all american football jocks and I'm the cheeky locker room towel boy
    One day after practice I don't get the clean towels ready or the shower water warm so as punishment the three lads punish me by raping my mouth and raping my virgin arsehole
    Fucking me hard and deep like they would a girl and leaving me on the locker room floor with cum running out of my abused arsehole and cum squirts all over my face
     
  20. ZOS23xy

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    This thread ought to be flushed.
     
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