Re: On the Turf, pt. 1

Discussion in 'Fictitious Stories' started by Imported, Mar 21, 2003.

  1. Imported

    Gold Member

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    mindseye: Well, no one else has spoken up, but I like it. I like the ZNH reference, the fact that the story builds up slowly, and the characters are fleshed out a bit -- not just cardboard cutouts with big dicks.

    The third paragraph needs work -- maybe there's a missing word, or maybe 'send' should be 'sent', or something. I get the gist of what it's saying, but can't parse it.

    When do we get to see more? ;)
     
  2. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    On second thought, I think I'll submit a story in completion instead of trying to write it part-by-part.
     
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