Really good buddies

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Hairy Reed, Dec 17, 2007.

?

Do you have really good male friends with who you can talk about anything?

Poll closed Mar 26, 2008.
  1. Yes and I am glad.

    69.4%
  2. Yes, we do stuff together, but don't talk that much about personal stuff.

    5.9%
  3. No, but I wish I had.

    21.2%
  4. No and I am not bothered.

    3.5%
  1. D_Hairy Reed

    D_Hairy Reed New Member

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    Here's a question to the guys out there about male friendships. How many of you have really great friendships with other guys to the extent that you'd say you also cared for that person and could talk about anything? (And I don't mean this in a sexual/gay context, where you happen to be involved with another guy.)

    I am married, but I occasionally wish I also had some meaningful friendships with other males, something I never seem to have had. My younger brother is much younger and lives in a separate country, dad is too remote, and I just never had guy-friends with who I could also talk about just anything.

    My wife seems have to girlfriends with who she can talk about anything, also intimate stuff? And that leaves me intrigued as to how come I never talk to other guys about personal stuff? Sometimes I feel unsure whether I even want to discuss some stuff with other guys - at other times, I feel if my wife can speak about these things, then why doI not have the same with other male friends?

    Do you have really good male friends like that or am I just a sad loner?! :confused:

    Looking forward to your experiences...
     
  2. Axcess

    Gold Member

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    I got only 2 friends that I know since high school. My buddies are like my brothers. We talk about everything and we share many moments together. To have legit friendships is a treasure. Many people are surrounded by lots of humans but in reality they are alone.
     
  3. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    It might be because of the way you behave too. I know with my brother-in-laws, they behave more like they think I expect them to behave. Posturing is really tiresome after awhile and why I don't hang around them much.
     
  4. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    Few & far between ... about three actual ... one or two possible, haven't known well enough yet ... odd thing (maybe not) is that they are all 100% straight ... other odd thing is that none of my friends are gay ????
     
  5. erratic

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    I totally have amazing (straight) male and female friends with whom I can talk about anything. We all have this where if you can talk about your poos with someone, that's when you know you're best friends.

    Poo jokes aside, I'm super lucky and I know it. I wouldn't have gotten past 21 without them.
     
  6. lorne

    Verified Gold Member

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    I find it easier being talking friends with women, guys are better for movies, games, and general shinanigans
     
  7. NudeJersey

    NudeJersey New Member

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    I guess I am the odd man out here, I have 4 or 5 buddies that share everything with me and me with them. I've been friends with each for decades-- including my collge roomate. They don't know each other. I love all of them and they me.
     
  8. rodsmith

    rodsmith Member

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    I understand where you're coming from beach puppy, a lot of my close friends have either moved away or died or lost touch. I have maybe one left that I see maybe once a year and that's not enough. But I keep looking. If you're married it seems like it doesn't get any easier....
     
  9. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I think this is a real important topic. I've talked about it before on this site. I have a few really close male friends & I think we all help keep each other sane. Also they care about me just for myself which is the best thing. I'm in college though & I think this seems to change as people get older and drift apart.
     
  10. hard1

    hard1 New Member

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    Good Topic..yup, my best friend since childhood..can talk to the dude about anything and I mean ANYTHING and he is/has been there for me no matter what...and I know he always will be. Knows things about me no way in hell I'd tell anyone else..and never judges me. That's what you call friendship.
     
  11. Primal_Savage

    Primal_Savage New Member

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    Guess that makes two of us, except all 4 of my buddies do know each other.
     
  12. bholiday12

    bholiday12 New Member

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    Im with you beach puppy.
    I've had really good friends. But not really close friends. I think i had some in early high school, but lost touch with them when i moved schools, and in senior years i was one of those guys with heaps of acquantances but not so many close friends.
    moving to college, i have made new friends and lost contact with my high school friends.
    Perhaps you need to have sustained, continued relations with other people to gain enough trust to be so open with them. Perhaps enduring puberty with friends makes you closer to them. I use to talk about everything with my early high school friends. Maybe if i was still freinds with them, we would be closer than i am with my university friends.
    Just a theory
     
  13. optimum

    optimum New Member

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    I used to think I didn't have any friends because I wasn't involved in the cliques in high school. I learned that it's exactly the opposite. Those relationships were built on superficial things and because all of my friends were on different corners of our town, we formed close bonds that have lasted until this day.

    To see each other grow has earned each of our trusts, and there's always a nervousness around other people that I would never feel around them.
     
  14. D_Hairy Reed

    D_Hairy Reed New Member

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    Guys, thanks very much for writing in and sharing your insights/experiences.

    I feel happy for those of you who do have very good male friends, making me wish I also had some. I'll certainly make an effort the next time I have an opportunity.

    I am also glad there are others out there who believe that this is an important part of life. I sometimes feel a bit bad that some natural relationships between men are superseded by competitive relationships (sports team mates, colleagues/co-workers, fellow-students) or that society does not pay as much attention to it.

    Nice to see that there are several among you who have been able to cultivate and nurture those friendships.
     
  15. B_Swimming Lad

    B_Swimming Lad New Member

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    I have loads of great mates. Love em all!
     
  16. Male Bonding etc

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    I've had one or two male friends in the past who came close to being that intimate with me, but the only time I seriously shared any and everything was with my wife.
     
  17. dudepiston

    dudepiston New Member

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    I've posted about this topic in the past as well. Nothing's changed, I still don't have close male friendships, but the one thing that has changed is I've come to a point that I really don't care (in a healthy way.) I've just realized it's not meant to be and if it does happen sometime, then great. If not, I'll live. I do think this is a cool and important thing. I also think that people who boast that they have "tons of friends" probably would be surprised to learn that they have fewer "true" friends than they think.
     
  18. Male Bonding etc

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    Perhaps that is the allure (or at least one of the allures) of this site for some of us. Whatever brought us here in the first place, we find ourselves opening up to people who have similar values, concerns, issues, experiences, and desires; and we start thinking that one or more of them might actually be able to carry through with that level of friendship. My name here reflects that particular desire.
     
  19. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    Swimming Lad, do you think that your experience of mates is a common one in the UK? I just wonder if males from other countries than the US are just more open-minded and emotionally accessible.
     
  20. Bbucko

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    I don't think it's a regional thing. It's probably much more of a trust thing.

    One of the prerequisites I have for a friend is that I can tell him (or her) anything. I prefer to live my life as an open book.

    Usually I get the same frank and open discussions back at me. I wouldn't want anyone in my sphere of influence feel as though s/he must hold back.
     
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