Really self-conscious about my body

ddgggg

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 23, 2023
Posts
313
Media
19
Likes
554
Points
228
Age
20
Location
New York City, New York, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
Hey, I've been having a lot of trouble with my self image and going to the gym, and it's making it really mentally taxing sometimes. I've tried limiting social media usage, meeting people to get my mind of things, focusing on things I like doing and my work, seeing other people as motivation, and even going to therapy and taking meds, but none of it has helped. I always just feel inadequate compared to other guys since I'm not as fit/muscular as them. I'm trying to still go to the gym anyway and even pick up jiu jitsu, but that also hasn't really helped. I'm really worried that I won't be good enough for several years, if ever because of my genetics / gynecomastia and honestly, dick size too. And I always feel so bad about myself compared to other people my age and older that have already found success with fitness and have actually built up confidence and improved their mental health from it, when only the opposite has been happening for me thus far :( Does anyone have any advice?
 

ASK JEFF

Loved Member
Joined
Aug 12, 2023
Posts
211
Media
1
Likes
550
Points
128
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Hey, I've been having a lot of trouble with my self image and going to the gym, and it's making it really mentally taxing sometimes. I've tried limiting social media usage, meeting people to get my mind of things, focusing on things I like doing and my work, seeing other people as motivation, and even going to therapy and taking meds, but none of it has helped. I always just feel inadequate compared to other guys since I'm not as fit/muscular as them. I'm trying to still go to the gym anyway and even pick up jiu jitsu, but that also hasn't really helped. I'm really worried that I won't be good enough for several years, if ever because of my genetics / gynecomastia and honestly, dick size too. And I always feel so bad about myself compared to other people my age and older that have already found success with fitness and have actually built up confidence and improved their mental health from it, when only the opposite has been happening for me thus far :( Does anyone have any advice?
Hey again… yeah, It's super tough when you put in the effort and don't see the results you want, especially when you're looking at other dudes who seem like they've got it all figured out. First off, kudos for not just throwing in the towel. Going to the gym and even considering jiu jitsu? That's some proactive stuff right there.

Look, everyone's got their own pace and hurdles, both physical and mental. Genetics can be a pain, but they aren't your destiny. You mentioned gynecomastia and feeling worried about your dick size. okay….
1) YOUR DICK IS WAY ABOVE AVERAGE AND PERFECT!
2) About the gyno…Have you thought about consulting a healthcare professional about this? Sometimes, there might be medical solutions or advice that could be more effective than a general gym routine. If things are really that bad, the adipose tissue can be removed via liposuction. Find a plastic surgeon, express your complaint, and ask if there is something he/she can do. Choices: Surgery or loving yourself the way you are. Personally, I’d choose happiness and acceptance. But that is easy for me to say Since I am not in your head.

4) Your fitness sounds awesome. Jiu jitsu, by the way, is awesome not just for fitness but also for mental discipline. It might just give you a different angle on what "being fit" really means. It's not always about bulging muscles and Instagram-ready abs. Sometimes it's about agility, technique, and mental grit. And who knows? You might find that the practice builds your confidence in a way that the traditional gym scene hasn't.

Feeling behind compared to others is a common sentiment, especially when you're young. But everyone's got a different journey, man. The key is not to let other people's "success" stories dictate how you feel about your own progress. Just because fitness has been a mental boost for them doesn't mean it's the only way to gain self-confidence. Maybe your path is different, and that's totally okay.

Keep pushing forward, but also remember that you're more than just your physical attributes. If the gym's making you feel worse, not better, maybe it's time to shake things up and try a different approach to wellness, be it mental or physical.

kisses on your pink parts and that huge fucking cock ❤️
‘JEFF
 

Stephenmass

Legendary Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Posts
2,589
Media
2
Likes
2,254
Points
333
Location
Boston
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
When you first start going to a gym, it's perfectly normal to feel as you feel. But all those that are ahead of you in their fitness "whatever", are simply ahead of you in their journey is all. You keep going and sooner or later you'll be one of them and newcomers will feel the same as you do now. I also looked at your dick pics; I don't know how you perceive what you have as a problem? Just keep at it; that's why you went to the gym in the first place and trust me even the ones ahead of you now at some point were new to the gym and felt like you do now. Get over it, keep working at it, and those feeling will literally go away on their own.
 

FrankieGuile

Admired Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2023
Posts
870
Media
0
Likes
788
Points
103
Location
San Diego, California,United States
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
It's so incredibly tedious, the variations of your self-image plight. Do you really want to build up your confidence and improve your mental health? Easy. Workout no more than one hour per day, volunteer at least another hour daily -- in person -- to a worthy cause, and work hard each day.
 

QueenLeo40

Loved Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Posts
242
Media
6
Likes
540
Points
138
Age
42
Location
Houston, Texas, United States of America
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Hey, I've been having a lot of trouble with my self image and going to the gym, and it's making it really mentally taxing sometimes. I've tried limiting social media usage, meeting people to get my mind of things, focusing on things I like doing and my work, seeing other people as motivation, and even going to therapy and taking meds, but none of it has helped. I always just feel inadequate compared to other guys since I'm not as fit/muscular as them. I'm trying to still go to the gym anyway and even pick up jiu jitsu, but that also hasn't really helped. I'm really worried that I won't be good enough for several years, if ever because of my genetics / gynecomastia and honestly, dick size too. And I always feel so bad about myself compared to other people my age and older that have already found success with fitness and have actually built up confidence and improved their mental health from it, when only the opposite has been happening for me thus far :( Does anyone have any advice?
Hi Darlin' First, thank you for sharing. It takes guts to be so open and honest. Second, start small. Rome wasn't built in a day. If you can, try to find the roots of your insecurities and go from there. Remember, be kind to yourself and pat yourself on the back as often as you can. Third, you're not alone. For example, I'm short and my main problem area is my tummy. However, it may not be prefect but it's mine. That's what matters to me. Yes, you're older but we all are or we're getting there. You are a beautiful person. Know that.

I hope this helps.
Love, Leo :)
 
  • Love
Reactions: Andrej_u

Andrej_u

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 25, 2022
Posts
331
Media
8
Likes
2,539
Points
388
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Compared to (many) other people on this site, not really...
Hey, first of all, a lot of solidarity for the struggle you're going through... Self-esteem issues are shit.
Now, people with low self-esteem are sometimes so keen on bringing themselves down, that they end up bringing other people down too, and/or even being a bit rude at times. It is totally not what you meant! But I'll be a bit direct, hopefully not too harsh.

There is a huge crowd of people in this site with a smaller penis, who would give all they have, in order to have a bigger one like yours (or mine, for that matter). You have a privilege, you're in the upper bracket in terms of dick size and you need to acknowledge that. Otherwise you're like a well-established lawyer with a good career earning 1M/year complaining that he doesn't earn like Paris Hilton or Elon Musk.

When you receive a compliment, there is only one correct answer, and that is "thank you". Start believing the compliments you receive, and always remember to say thank you even when it's really difficult to do it. If someone gives you a compliment... Chances are that he means it, right?

P.S.: you have a great pair of legs too, I'd love for you to show them off more :heart_eyes:
 
  • Like
Reactions: brwayne1 and Crex

ddgggg

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 23, 2023
Posts
313
Media
19
Likes
554
Points
228
Age
20
Location
New York City, New York, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
It's so incredibly tedious, the variations of your self-image plight. Do you really want to build up your confidence and improve your mental health? Easy. Workout no more than one hour per day, volunteer at least another hour daily -- in person -- to a worthy cause, and work hard each day.
I've been going to the gym / jiu jitsu and my confidence still isn't that great. I'm working to get my degree in computer science and (hopefully) go into software engineering. Neither are doing anything for my confidence. I lack compared to the other people around me - better looking, better at jiu jitsu, more professional experience, better at interviewing, better at course content, higher GPAs... I think my self-image issues are tedious as well, but I mean, what else do I do about it now?
 

ddgggg

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 23, 2023
Posts
313
Media
19
Likes
554
Points
228
Age
20
Location
New York City, New York, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
I also looked at your dick pics; I don't know how you perceive what you have as a problem?
It's too small - someone today just said it was small. I'm practically nothing compared to a lot of guys on here, Reddit, Twitter, and elsewhere. And I'm trying to be bigger, but progress has yet to happen in that department. Another thing - I feel like you wouldn't really get it - as is, you're bigger than me.
Just keep at it; that's why you went to the gym in the first place and trust me even the ones ahead of you now at some point were new to the gym and felt like you do now. Get over it, keep working at it, and those feeling will literally go away on their own.
It's not as easy as just "get over it". I've already been going to the gym for over a year and I still feel awful about myself a good chunk of the time - in and out the gym. :( Plus, there are just so many factors that determine how much I can amount to, genetics/insertions, my gyno, my height, my facial structure...
 

FrankieGuile

Admired Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2023
Posts
870
Media
0
Likes
788
Points
103
Location
San Diego, California,United States
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
I've been going to the gym / jiu jitsu and my confidence still isn't that great. I'm working to get my degree in computer science and (hopefully) go into software engineering. Neither are doing anything for my confidence. I lack compared to the other people around me - better looking, better at jiu jitsu, more professional experience, better at interviewing, better at course content, higher GPAs... I think my self-image issues are tedious as well, but I mean, what else do I do about it now?
I think I've already given you good, practical advice. It's yours to take or leave. That's the key to self-confidence: responsibility, accountability, self-determination. One is not always right or successful in one's pursuits, but you are always in control and control leads to confidence. Your essential problem is ceding control, excusing your lot on circumstances or chance in an endless stream of complaint. A good start would be to stop.
 
  • Like
Reactions: QueenLeo40

ddgggg

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 23, 2023
Posts
313
Media
19
Likes
554
Points
228
Age
20
Location
New York City, New York, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
I think I've already given you good, practical advice. It's yours to take or leave. That's the key to self-confidence: responsibility, accountability, self-determination. One is not always right or successful in one's pursuits, but you are always in control and control leads to confidence. Your essential problem is ceding control, excusing your lot on circumstances or chance in an endless stream of complaint. A good start would be to stop.
I wouldn't really consider it me ceding control if I were to actively work towards changing things about my body I don't like though, no? And I took actions that aligned closely with your advice, and like I said before, it didn't really get me anywhere (?)
 
Last edited:

ddgggg

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 23, 2023
Posts
313
Media
19
Likes
554
Points
228
Age
20
Location
New York City, New York, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
When you first start going to a gym, it's perfectly normal to feel as you feel. But all those that are ahead of you in their fitness "whatever", are simply ahead of you in their journey is all. You keep going and sooner or later you'll be one of them and newcomers will feel the same as you do now. I also looked at your dick pics; I don't know how you perceive what you have as a problem? Just keep at it; that's why you went to the gym in the first place and trust me even the ones ahead of you now at some point were new to the gym and felt like you do now. Get over it, keep working at it, and those feeling will literally go away on their own.
I would like to just get over it, but it's just not that easy. I'm still going so I can feel better about myself, but the feeling-better-about-myself part has yet to happen.
 

brwayne1

Loved Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Jun 23, 2004
Posts
47
Media
21
Likes
558
Points
553
Location
Austin (Texas, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
It takes time my friend. I was in your shoes gyno and all. I realized that I am an unreliable source when it comes to what I look like and I still think my dick is small sometimes. I've started to accept that others outside of my head think my dick is huge and I'm starting to see that. If you think about how long it took to get all of those negative thoughts in your head, it'll take a while and practice to let it go. Go easy on yourself and also try not to compare yourself to others. I take the mantra of, "This is where it starts" when I find myself eyeing a ripped guy in the gym and feeling sorry for myself.

You have a fat long dick bud, we can all see it and one day you will too.

p.s. measure yours and mark that on an empty paper towel roll. I still pick mine up and I'm like whoa, that is a big dick. ;)
 

ddgggg

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 23, 2023
Posts
313
Media
19
Likes
554
Points
228
Age
20
Location
New York City, New York, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
Great Caesar's Ghost! Is this cloying posturing to be validated disguised as a request for advice on improving self-image still garnering comments?!
Believe me, I wish it were easy to feel good about myself and my body. But, well...it's not.
 

ddgggg

Loved Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 23, 2023
Posts
313
Media
19
Likes
554
Points
228
Age
20
Location
New York City, New York, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
Thanks for answering my question.
brwayne1's reply already answered your question. You answered your own question. I just got the notification for someone posting on this thread (like how you just posted), and I'm engaging with the content of the replies, like I'm doing right now.
 

FrankieGuile

Admired Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2023
Posts
870
Media
0
Likes
788
Points
103
Location
San Diego, California,United States
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
brwayne1's reply already answered your question. You answered your own question. I just got the notification for someone posting on this thread (like how you just posted), and I'm engaging with the content of the replies, like I'm doing right now.
I'm not interested in other people's answers to questions directed at a singular individual.