Really Wish Straight Cis Women Would Leave Us Alone.

strokemeavalon

Superior Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Posts
1,222
Media
0
Likes
3,369
Points
158
Location
Glendale (California, United States)
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
I feel nowadays cisgendered, straight women are invading LGBT spaces more and more. No, I don't want to be your "GBF" nor do I want you to be my "hag". I'd rather not hear a bunch of screaming bachelorettes at a nightclub or a strip club where I go to have fun. Now I have deal with women invading our gay porn now?
 
  • Like
Reactions: deleted1182044
4

4388301

Guest
Erm. What, I am supposed to wear a sign or badge proclaiming I am not a hetero, cisgender identifying person to be in an LGBT space? Like a certain other demographic had to do in the 1940s? Gross. From outside appearance/folk who do not know me, I "look" like a cisgender woman n strangers are not going to know the gender of my partner, when I am just out on my own.

The only times I have gone to a club with a specifically gay/mlm emphasis was with a (gay male) friend who also was a bartender there and a group of otherwise queer/LGBT folk, some who were born with female sex like myself. Strangers would have no idea, though. Guess I am supposed to wear a badge and sit quietly in a corner, never interact with anybody but the folk I already knew?

Other gay clubs I go to were with my Sir/Daddy, as his boi. But. Y'know. Still outwardly look somewhat "cisgender woman" as I am not transgender, on any sort of HRT, etc.
 

MickeyLee

Mythical Member
Staff
Moderator
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Posts
33,707
Media
7
Likes
49,844
Points
618
Location
neverhood
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Ummm is this a forum invasion of the female straights? Or, are straight white ladies regularly barging onto porn sets and gobbling up all the good dick?

I do kinda get the push back of straight folks using queer spaces as a tourist spot or site seeing/wild side outing. Nope. Sorry this is a club not a queer zoo. It can feel like they are slumming it for the thrill or clout.

Then again groups of loud drunks annoy the tits off me. Like, fine. We get it, time of ya life. We don't need to know.
 
4

4388301

Guest
Ummm is this a forum invasion of the female straights? Or, are straight white ladies regularly barging onto porn sets and gobbling up all the good dick?

I do kinda get the push back of straight folks using queer spaces as a tourist spot or site seeing/wild side outing. Nope. Sorry this is a club not a queer zoo. It can feel like they are slumming it for the thrill or clout.

Then again groups of loud drugs annoy the tits off me. Like, fine. We get it, time of ya life. We don't need to know.

Far as the gay porn I have browsed, which is a moderate amount.. the only cisgender women involved were some "straight bait" shit.. which, self-explanatory title/genre. Bait n switch of an allegedly heterosexual man thinking they were with a lady, n then blindfolded and suddenly is a dude sucking them off and so on. Otherwise, is folk like Buck Angel who is manly as fuck, though no dick.

Loud n drugged in general, zzz no thanks.

My "go out n club" days have passed (2much ppl for me) but at least for the places I have been, major metropolitan city on the west coast, there was very little "tourist" seeming folk. Just comfy mix of people. Shit. Got hit on more by women in the one gay/MLM emphasis club than others, some very attractive women too. Lots of Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence hung out there too, not all of whom were cisgender men.
 

DiamondJoe

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Posts
6,578
Media
10
Likes
7,866
Points
133
Age
44
Location
Glastonbury (Somerset, England)
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I feel nowadays cisgendered, straight women are invading LGBT spaces more and more. No, I don't want to be your "GBF" nor do I want you to be my "hag". I'd rather not hear a bunch of screaming bachelorettes at a nightclub or a strip club where I go to have fun. Now I have deal with women invading our gay porn now?
Deal with it, dude.

Or go an live on a "gays only" island.
 

RowanB

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 5, 2016
Posts
569
Media
159
Likes
13,782
Points
413
Location
London (Greater London, England)
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I feel nowadays cisgendered, straight women are invading LGBT spaces more and more. No, I don't want to be your "GBF" nor do I want you to be my "hag". I'd rather not hear a bunch of screaming bachelorettes at a nightclub or a strip club where I go to have fun. Now I have deal with women invading our gay porn now?

Think this could've been better worded, but agree with the sentiment.

The biggest issue for myself and my friends is that we, as LGBT people, just don't have our own spaces anymore.

Straight people have FAR more social places to go that we do but on many many many occasions our gay venues are so packed with straight people that it becomes a game of "spot the gay".

We have nothing against the straight community, but we'd like to just spend some time with "our people". Maybe meet a nice guy. I shouldn't have to go to a gay bar and have to try to figure out whether or not its safe to flirt with a guy...

We don't go to straight places because we don't feel comfortable there and now you're driving us out of the gay venues too.

I've had my lesbian friends harassed by straight men thinking they can get off with them. Its not okay.

On the other hand however - They're paying customers... We're losing gay venues all the time, so the more money passes over the counter, the longer we can keep our bars open...
 

halcyondays

Worshipped Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Posts
6,359
Media
2
Likes
10,358
Points
158
Location
US
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
"The Science Behind Straight Women's Love For Gay Men" from the New Republic, 2016

The Science Behind Straight Women’s Love for Gay Men


I remember the good old days (1980s) when a gay club was a gay club until HIV ravaged the scene--though I attended straight clubs far more often. And I've never been to a strip club of any kind.

What I don't understand is your comment, Now I have deal with women invading our gay porn now?

Is this happening in the gay porn industry? Given that many male porn actors are gay-for-pay does it matter? Seems to me there's tons of all male gay porn.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ronin001
7

7053701

Guest
I feel nowadays cisgendered, straight women are invading LGBT spaces more and more. No, I don't want to be your "GBF" nor do I want you to be my "hag". I'd rather not hear a bunch of screaming bachelorettes at a nightclub or a strip club where I go to have fun.
Were they socially distancing, and masking up when they tipped the dancers?

Seriously though, this is old news. Unless you are going to a fetish bar (that tends to scare away the people you have an issue with), most gay bars/clubs/strip joints have mixed crowds. The women I would go with went because it was a safe place, as in, they didn't feel intimidated by the leering, drunk predatory straight men that they find elsewhere. They could just have fun in a no pressure environment. I am also pretty sure the owner of the establishment, and the bartenders/servers that got generously tipped, were also more than thankful for the extra people that helped support them.

I've seen many empty "gay-only" bars that didn't survive.

Now I have deal with women invading our gay porn now?

I'm not sure what you mean. Aside from what was said above, with the straight-baiting videos, I haven't seen any invasion to speak of. Maybe you could point us to the multiple examples of this invasion?

At the end of the day, the issue is your own. Gay bars have always been mixed. How would you feel if someone didn't want you in a bar, or restaurant, and asked you to leave? Or simply denied you entry. Right.
 

DiamondJoe

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Posts
6,578
Media
10
Likes
7,866
Points
133
Age
44
Location
Glastonbury (Somerset, England)
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
Think this could've been better worded, but agree with the sentiment.

The biggest issue for myself and my friends is that we, as LGBT people, just don't have our own spaces anymore.

Straight people have FAR more social places to go that we do but on many many many occasions our gay venues are so packed with straight people that it becomes a game of "spot the gay".

We have nothing against the straight community, but we'd like to just spend some time with "our people". Maybe meet a nice guy. I shouldn't have to go to a gay bar and have to try to figure out whether or not its safe to flirt with a guy...

We don't go to straight places because we don't feel comfortable there and now you're driving us out of the gay venues too.

I've had my lesbian friends harassed by straight men thinking they can get off with them. Its not okay.

On the other hand however - They're paying customers... We're losing gay venues all the time, so the more money passes over the counter, the longer we can keep our bars open...

Hmm. I've heard this argument before. Closures of gay bars mirror the closure of straight ones tbh.

Question is, why do you feel you need a space all to your atomised selves, that only gay men, or gay women or trans people can inhabit free from straight oppression?

I would argue that what you're actually talking about is straight society becoming ever more tolerant of queers. There seems very little to me that would stop gay people from going out as a group to what might traditionally be termed a "straight" environment. And I also see little problem with straight people going to gay venues.

You don't have to live in a ghetto to maintain an identity. It should be about breaking down prejudices, not building more barriers.

The flip side of this is the way (some) gay people get really aggravated about difference. Tbh, as a bisexual man I've had tons more shite from gay people than I ever had from straights. It's odd. I thought the "community" was supposed to be that - an inclusive community - but it seems to me that sections of gay society feel they have fought hard for their space and do not want to share it.

Personally, I think that's rather sad.
 

Scarletbegonia

Worshipped Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
May 2, 2013
Posts
8,324
Media
26
Likes
23,654
Points
508
Location
Purgatory (Maine, United States)
Sexuality
Asexual
Gender
Female
For a while in my youth, my roomie dragged me to his bars a few nights a week. I’d sit with another shy person, occasionally noting someone with particular panache. And I’d encourage him to reach out. On occasion, I knew the petty boy in question, wave him over and facilitate a conversation. I was known, my lack of interest, but willingness to host the “bench table” or “kids table,” as my roomie called it.
It was as fun as rooms of people could be for me. I made and held safe space for the guys who had just been shot down, or had a break up. I was often the only woman there.
I’m not sure how my presence would make it hard for someone to decide to hit on someone else.

I’ve gone to see friends perform. It’s a venue, right?
 

Tight_N_Juicy

Mythical Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 14, 2012
Posts
18,265
Media
138
Likes
63,584
Points
508
Location
U.S.A.
Verification
View
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Female
I feel nowadays cisgendered, straight women are invading LGBT spaces more and more. No, I don't want to be your "GBF" nor do I want you to be my "hag". I'd rather not hear a bunch of screaming bachelorettes at a nightclub or a strip club where I go to have fun. Now I have deal with women invading our gay porn now?

This is an inclusive site, it's not just a place for gay men.

Get over it.
 

between2lungs

Sexy Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Sep 3, 2020
Posts
7
Media
0
Likes
48
Points
123
Location
Oakland, CA, USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Male
Spaces for queer people are important, I agree. Without straight women, I wouldn’t be alive, though I could really do without the “gbf” questions. They make me feel awful. Once, a straight girl asked me to send her pictures of me & my future boyfriend (no luck on that front still ) so she could add them to her “gay folder”. Wtf?!?!?!?

However, it seems tons of gay men just assume every woman in a gay bar who isn’t butch is straight, which is sexist and erasure-y and shitty. Plenty of gay men treat queer women like garbage, and it’s awful. My best friend is a bi woman, and she still hasn’t come out publicly because the first person she told (who is queer, ironically) said she’s faking it.

Honestly, it’s only the drunk, rude & loud straight women that suck. Let me emphasize something I said earlier - without straight women, I wouldn’t be alive. There are straight people that go to gay bars that understand they’re in queer spaces and conduct themselves accordingly that I welcome with open arms.

idk what OP even means by women in gay porn - it’s gay porn, there aren’t any women in it. If he’s talking about trans men, then he’s being a transphobic dick. If he’s talking about this website, it’s not just for gay/bi/etc men lmao.
 

ronin001

Mythical Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Cammer
Joined
May 16, 2009
Posts
10,295
Media
54
Likes
47,045
Points
618
Location
New York (United States)
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
Wow, I need to tell my H. R Managers , that all the inclusion - Diversity / Understanding / training is a waste of time.
As Inclusion in reality is a one way street, not a right or courtesy to be shared / enjoyed by all
 

oscar thomas

Cherished Member
Joined
May 1, 2018
Posts
138
Media
0
Likes
477
Points
183
Location
London (Greater London, England)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Straight people invading gay spaces spans the genders. Women who think a GBF is the latest must-have accessory and men who come into the spaces knowing they're now packed with straight women.

I've nothing against straight people of any gender, but increasingly they make everything about them and it does further minimise our safe spaces. You're probably just as likely to walk into a homophobe who'll attack you out back in a gay club now as a generic one.
 

oscar thomas

Cherished Member
Joined
May 1, 2018
Posts
138
Media
0
Likes
477
Points
183
Location
London (Greater London, England)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Specifically on 'cis, straight women', I think 'cis, straight, white women' are really the last group society has yet to ask to confront their 'privilege'.

Gay men have. Black men have. Trans men have. Disabled men have.

We acknowledge that that being cis, straight white and male all by themselves represents a privilege and people who have one, all or some of those characteristics posses some kind of privilege. Yet people who tick just two of those boxes, such as someone who is cis and male but also black and homosexual - are constantly told by people who tick more (cis, white, het, women) they they should do something about their privilege, whilst those telling them to do more to address their privilege quite evidently don't even think their own privilege even exists.
 

RebJock

Expert Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2010
Posts
30
Media
0
Likes
214
Points
203
Location
Virginia (United States)
Gender
Male
So I believe what he’s talking about with regard to the gay porn is a growing segment of produced clips where the girlfriend features prominently in the setup of the scene and the “straight” bf screws around on her behind her back after she leaves the house, or with her oblivious in the next room or she comes back and catches them having sex and he’s all “too bad it feels good.”

I don’t believe he was referring to this site and having seen these clips myself he wasn’t referencing representation of trans women in porn disparagingly if these are the scenes he’s talking about.

As for the straight women in gay bars, gay spaces I have never had a problem with people being in the space, but it becomes clear pretty quickly who is there as part of the community and who is there as a tourist stop. It’s the latter who come in and take over and expect that it cater to them that drive me crazy.

An instance I speak of directly was one at a male strip club that catered to gay men. Everyone knew most of the dancers were straight. The bachelorette party barged in and got angry that the dancers didn’t ignore the male clients and focus on them. One went so far as to loudly proclaim “why aren’t you focused on me? Aren’t you straight? Why are you trying to impress these guys?” I was a little surprised when he pulled her to the edge of the stage by where our table was and told her she was ruining the illusion for everyone involved - we all knew he was straight. He knew he was straight but she was breaking the fantasy for everyone and was going to destroy the opportunity for tips for everyone performing because of her selfish behavior in a space that wasn’t designed for her as a “gay” strip club.
 

wallyj84

Superior Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Posts
7,023
Media
0
Likes
3,954
Points
333
Location
United States
So I believe what he’s talking about with regard to the gay porn is a growing segment of produced clips where the girlfriend features prominently in the setup of the scene and the “straight” bf screws around on her behind her back after she leaves the house, or with her oblivious in the next room or she comes back and catches them having sex and he’s all “too bad it feels good.”

I don’t believe he was referring to this site and having seen these clips myself he wasn’t referencing representation of trans women in porn disparagingly if these are the scenes he’s talking about.

As for the straight women in gay bars, gay spaces I have never had a problem with people being in the space, but it becomes clear pretty quickly who is there as part of the community and who is there as a tourist stop. It’s the latter who come in and take over and expect that it cater to them that drive me crazy.

An instance I speak of directly was one at a male strip club that catered to gay men. Everyone knew most of the dancers were straight. The bachelorette party barged in and got angry that the dancers didn’t ignore the male clients and focus on them. One went so far as to loudly proclaim “why aren’t you focused on me? Aren’t you straight? Why are you trying to impress these guys?” I was a little surprised when he pulled her to the edge of the stage by where our table was and told her she was ruining the illusion for everyone involved - we all knew he was straight. He knew he was straight but she was breaking the fantasy for everyone and was going to destroy the opportunity for tips for everyone performing because of her selfish behavior in a space that wasn’t designed for her as a “gay” strip club.

That is some intense entitlement and an interesting example of intersectionality.

I think dominant groups, in this case CIS women, have a tendency to treat people outside of their group as props.
 

Scarletbegonia

Worshipped Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
May 2, 2013
Posts
8,324
Media
26
Likes
23,654
Points
508
Location
Purgatory (Maine, United States)
Sexuality
Asexual
Gender
Female
Specifically on 'cis, straight women', I think 'cis, straight, white women' are really the last group society has yet to ask to confront their 'privilege'.

Gay men have. Black men have. Trans men have. Disabled men have.

We acknowledge that that being cis, straight white and male all by themselves represents a privilege and people who have one, all or some of those characteristics posses some kind of privilege. Yet people who tick just two of those boxes, such as someone who is cis and male but also black and homosexual - are constantly told by people who tick more (cis, white, het, women) they they should do something about their privilege, whilst those telling them to do more to address their privilege quite evidently don't even think their own privilege even exists.

while I see some white assumed cis, assumed straight Women abusing the privilege they have, my reality is the feminism and womanism of the 70s forced some introspection. The rise of intersectional feminism has brought it round again.
I also see people with assumed privilege using when police detain others. My pale self staring with what appears to be a filming camera will keep a cop in line.


To the OP, why do you think the bleating herds of young women go to your bars? How clear is it that it’s a pick up bar for men and men alone?
Are you wishing for the days when women had to be escorted to be in a “public house?”

drunk and rude is always a drag. Any gender, any sexuality.

One benefit of hanging with Steve in the gay bars is I was hit on less. Not “not at all,” less. So some of the patrons were happy to do whomever. Does that mean bi guys are a problem as conceivably they might bring their woman partners?
What about pansexuals?

How queer is queer enough?
 

Scarletbegonia

Worshipped Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
May 2, 2013
Posts
8,324
Media
26
Likes
23,654
Points
508
Location
Purgatory (Maine, United States)
Sexuality
Asexual
Gender
Female
So I believe what he’s talking about with regard to the gay porn is a growing segment of produced clips where the girlfriend features prominently in the setup of the scene and the “straight” bf screws around on her behind her back after she leaves the house, or with her oblivious in the next room or she comes back and catches them having sex and he’s all “too bad it feels good.”

I don’t believe he was referring to this site and having seen these clips myself he wasn’t referencing representation of trans women in porn disparagingly if these are the scenes he’s talking about.

As for the straight women in gay bars, gay spaces I have never had a problem with people being in the space, but it becomes clear pretty quickly who is there as part of the community and who is there as a tourist stop. It’s the latter who come in and take over and expect that it cater to them that drive me crazy.

An instance I speak of directly was one at a male strip club that catered to gay men. Everyone knew most of the dancers were straight. The bachelorette party barged in and got angry that the dancers didn’t ignore the male clients and focus on them. One went so far as to loudly proclaim “why aren’t you focused on me? Aren’t you straight? Why are you trying to impress these guys?” I was a little surprised when he pulled her to the edge of the stage by where our table was and told her she was ruining the illusion for everyone involved - we all knew he was straight. He knew he was straight but she was breaking the fantasy for everyone and was going to destroy the opportunity for tips for everyone performing because of her selfish behavior in a space that wasn’t designed for her as a “gay” strip club.

wow. The correct term for these women is “rude.” And I’m truly sorry these ass-showing degenerates are around.
I’m afraid it isn’t connected to being female.
 

RebJock

Expert Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2010
Posts
30
Media
0
Likes
214
Points
203
Location
Virginia (United States)
Gender
Male
wow. The correct term for these women is “rude.” And I’m truly sorry these ass-showing degenerates are around.
I’m afraid it isn’t connected to being female.
100 percent agree with you. I think lots of gay men excuse it in each other or just shrug it off as entitled assholes but with straight women it takes on a different emotional reaction....probably also influenced by personal experiences.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Scarletbegonia