julesq
Experimental Member
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 158
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 8
- Points
- 53
- Location
- New York, NY
- Sexuality
- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
- Gender
- Female
I have learned in life that what is reasonable in a relationship is commitment and contentment. I don't mean to sound negative. My husband and I have CRAZY work schedules that often find us working incompatible hours, and traveling a lot. Generally, if we sleep in the same bed, there is sex. We both live by the mantra, "it is what it is", and it serves us well. We are both the kind of people that if something isn't working for us then we do our best to change it.
While there are times, when I would like more sex, there are times that I would also like a little less. I know he feels the same way. We talk about it all the time. We talk about everything and that works for us. Having a clear commitment to one another and to on-going communication leads to the contentment. By no means am I saying contentment = complacency but as with all other things the degree of contentment varies.
The guy with the spreadsheet and the comments about cheating just come from a place that I hope I never visit. IMO, if you are keeping track of anything on a spreadsheet, other than finances, you are spending too much time documenting and not enough time doing other things; in this case enjoying your spouse's company. I find it strange that he took so much time documenting the lack of sex and doesn't see that there is a bigger problem in his relationship. As for the notion that no sex causes cheating, I don't buy into that either. When a spouse looks outside of the marriage to have their needs met, whatever they might be, the problem is bigger than what they are saying/blaming it on.
While there are times, when I would like more sex, there are times that I would also like a little less. I know he feels the same way. We talk about it all the time. We talk about everything and that works for us. Having a clear commitment to one another and to on-going communication leads to the contentment. By no means am I saying contentment = complacency but as with all other things the degree of contentment varies.
The guy with the spreadsheet and the comments about cheating just come from a place that I hope I never visit. IMO, if you are keeping track of anything on a spreadsheet, other than finances, you are spending too much time documenting and not enough time doing other things; in this case enjoying your spouse's company. I find it strange that he took so much time documenting the lack of sex and doesn't see that there is a bigger problem in his relationship. As for the notion that no sex causes cheating, I don't buy into that either. When a spouse looks outside of the marriage to have their needs met, whatever they might be, the problem is bigger than what they are saying/blaming it on.