Reasons why jail sucks

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by marleyisalegend, Apr 30, 2008.

?

Have you ever been to jail/prison??

  1. never

    66 vote(s)
    86.8%
  2. once or twice

    8 vote(s)
    10.5%
  3. i am or used to be constantly in and out

    2 vote(s)
    2.6%
  1. marleyisalegend

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    -13 hour booking process (pretty much involves moving from one metal bench to another every few hours or so, by the end my ass was so sore i felt like the entire NFL league had plowed me

    -straight guys grabbing their penises and playing with them right in front of you. if they were gay it woulda turned me on but since they were straight it just made me uncomfortable trying not to look

    -THE SMELL

    -THE FOOD and i'm using the term 'food' loosely. more like a milky substance with bread crumbs and a juicebox that wouldn't fill a 3 year-old

    -the CRAZY people. everyone on my floor thought they were rappers and i couldn't sleep the first night because one inmate after another would launch into robust, LOUD rap solos. the old guys who mumble incoherently, and the young guys who LOOOOVE bragging about how many houses they've broken into

    -the priveleged inmates. not to say people who come from well-to-do families don't have problems, but they certainly have no excuse to be robbing people or committing crimes just for the fun of it

    -the RUDE PO's. they assume you've done this before, call your name and get mad when you don't know where to go or what to do. uhh, all you said was my name

    -the narcissistic cell-mate who has to tell you why he's incarcerated. the story doesn't start at the actual crime, he tells you everything from age 7 up to when he got arrested. LOVES talking about himself

    -THE SMELL, had to mention this one again, my bf' let the window down as soon as he picked me up

    -breakfast at 4:15 am

    -being released. i was technically released by the judge at 4pm. got all happy and did my "i'm gettin out" dance, didn't get processed and physically released until 10 pm

    -strip searches. you'd think a stranger fondling your junk would be fun but, nope, didn't get any pleasure out of it

    -guys who tell you they love their kids then say they haven't seen them in half a year. maybe all these dads being locked up is part of why kids are SO FUCKING INSANE nowadays

    -homophobia. when a dyke was put in the holding cell next to us, one of my cellmates asked "what we'd do if a faggot was put in our cell" and a 16 year old insisted that the "faggot" would "get his ass whooped" the 16 year old moron was in there for robbery (though he didn't even have the balls to commit the robbery, he just broke the window and ran cuz the guy was home)

    -not realizing your blessings until its too late to appreciate them

    in a nutshell, small cold rooms, straight, unattainable roughneck hotties, STUPID criminal stories and guys swearing they'll never be back. not to mention cells that smell like piss and windows that throw sunshine in your face, reminding you which side of the bars you're on.

    did i cover everything??
     
  2. unabear09

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    oh shit man! what happened to land you in jail? (you don't have to answer me, but concerned) hope everything works out good for you
     
  3. Principessa

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    So what did you do to land yourself in jail?
     
  4. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    marley was probably arrested for being too sexy.
     
  5. marleyisalegend

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    oh its all good, it was only a day (felt like a fucking month). i actually gave the sheriff's office a good run, i had a driving while liscence revoked ticket about two years ago and was supposed to go to a class to get it erased til i found out the fees would total $800+ so i said fuck that and never went. they issued a warrant but i evaded those fuckers for a good year and a half lol. don't recommend doing that, i truly would've taken care of it had i not been so broke but anywho, i'm out now and its being taken care of, my judge was cute and cool and joked that he'd "jack me up". he meant in a legal way (insisting that its a legal term, whatever) but you know what my dirty mind was thinking
     
  6. marleyisalegend

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    lol, stacy was in the cell next to me, charged with two counts of public hornyness-inducingness
     
  7. Bbucko

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    You neglected to mention the loss of liberty. That would eventually get on my nerves.
     
  8. marleyisalegend

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    god yes it did, you have no idea how good polluted city air smells until you're cut off from it
     
  9. SyddyKitty

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    Uhm. Don't drink and drive? :p

    But yea, what'd you do? D=
     
  10. unabear09

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    man...hate to hear that! and yeah...i mean wtf are you supposed to do if you're piss poor.....another example of our great legal system in action
     
  11. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    gosh marley why'd you have to tell my secret?!

    :rolleyes:
     
  12. marleyisalegend

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    sorry stacy, but the inquiring public needs to know these things. it's just how it is when you're outrageously sexy
     
  13. ballsaplenty2156

    ballsaplenty2156 New Member

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    I have a cousin who works for the South Carolina Department of Corrections, and he pretty much told me the same thing about jail/prison as you've outlined in your posting.
    You didn't mention the total lack of privacy; or appalling lack of hygiene by the inmates.
    He's said some guys have such bad breath and body odor you could puke just standing near them.
     
  14. marleyisalegend

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    well no drinking, but driving without a valid liscence
     
  15. B_The Greek Dude

    B_The Greek Dude New Member

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    Well, this may be stereotypical, but I think the worst thing about prison is getting raped. Not because of the bleeding, constipation or humiliation, but because of the high risk of getting HIV or another STD.
     
  16. HyperHulk

    HyperHulk New Member

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    Rape occurs in prison, no doubt, but it happens far less than it's made to seem. The truth is that many guys willingly enter into hook-ups with guys because it either gives them physical comfort or protection. Some are coerced through mental intimidation, few are forcibly raped. It's not really that easy to forcibly rape a grown man. Prisoners who are identified as being HIV poz are generally removed from the general population.
     
  17. gjorg

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    Then imagine having to have sex with one of those. Brad Pitt they ain't
     
  18. marleyisalegend

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    lol, unfortunately i've never been, i was only in jail. jail usualy has separated showers. hopefully i'll never see whats its like inside a prison wall, i've heard that they use ANYTHING as a condom, even potato chip bags. OUCH!!!
     
  19. lonamisa

    lonamisa Member

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    Damn, that sounds way shitty. Good reasons to want to be careful of that shit.
     
  20. yngjock20

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    I was seriously worried when you dropped out of sight. I was like "Okay, who the fuck got rid of Marley!?!?!"

    P.S. Damn. Jail sounds like fun.
     
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