Reasons why women Cheat

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolph9plus, May 18, 2010.

  1. dolph9plus

    dolph9plus New Member

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    The old idea is,Men are Evil Demons who fuck everything in sight.but poor women only cheat because the Evil Demon Man drove her to it.

    We have all heard the quote " A Woman needs a reason to cheat,Men just need a Woman "

    So what do you all think..Do women take alot less heat and blame when they cheat,because of the idea that all women cheat for emotional reasons not because she just wanted to have some sneaky sex on the side,but because that "evil" bastard man drove her to it ?
     
  2. TheRob

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    women take less blame for EVERYTHING in western society
     
  3. dolfette

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    nope, never heard of it and never believed it.
     
  4. xxxllover

    xxxllover New Member

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    same reasons why men do. too many to list.
     
  5. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Options.
    The bf and I have been together for a few years now :)heart:) and we have an open relationship, so no "cheating". But, I definitely go out on dates with other men who do not care that I am in a serious relationship. If they did, that would severely limit my activities..
     
  6. cbrmale

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    Various surveys conducted over many decades show that more married men have extra-marital sex than married women, but the percentage of married women who do have extra-marital sex is still healthily high (about 20%). From the married women I know, it's much the same reason as married men (not enough sex at home, sex at home isn't particularly good, away from home and lonely, feeling unloved and using sex to feel love and so on).
     
  7. Fleur

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    Yeah...I agree. I don't believe this. Cheating is a symptom of an unhealthy and failed relationship, period. Men cheat for emotional reasons too...just in society we rationalize it and say for men, it's purely a "physical action" and somehow means less, like scratching an itch. Goes along the same BS that men are somehow devoid of emotions and feelings and that their actions are not driven by them (ie men are animals).

    To me open relationships the kind that involve "fuck whomever you want, whenever you want" is basically cheating, under the veil of "openness" ...in other words, it's bullshit and will still most likely cause the same kind of harm cheating will cause. ...anyway, that's another thread and just my opinion.
     
    #7 Fleur, May 18, 2010
    Last edited: May 18, 2010
  8. AlteredEgo

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    I have never cheated. The times I've been tempted were characterized by

    • intensely good chemistry with a new acquaintance
    • insufficient sex, and proximity to a past lover
    • rocky relations, and ample opportunity
    • anger/frustration, and ample opportunity
    I'm pretty good at dealing with this type of temptation. The closest I came to cheating was bullet point number two. We were very intoxicated (though it wasn't the first or last time the temptation existed) and our postures were way too intimate. He put his face in mine as if to kiss me, and we simultaneously reached out to push each other away. We exchanged this look that just said everything, and I gathered my stuff and went home. We'll always be tempted, but after that night we both know it's just not going to happen. We've already passed that test.

    I wish someone would tell his girlfriend she can relax now. I think she's uncomfortable with the fact that we are doppelgangers from head to toe, and from politics to religion. I could just be projecting. To be quite honest, it makes me uncomfortable around her. It's better than his last girl, who was downright hostile. I think if I was trusted as little as he is, I'd be very tempted to cheat. Very tempted. My man trusts me, and I aim to never let him down.
     
  9. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I feel supremely loved and we have a lot of sex, but I do not tie monogamy to our relationship. It isn't necessary, for us.

    In my experience, open relationships can and do work, especially when there is totally honesty, which I have with in my ltr. Our foundation is strong and some side action, or group action (if we get around to it :biggrin1:), does not impact that in the least.

    Ultimately, I love him and he loves me. We are open and in this together for the long term, on these terms, and that framework works for us.
     
    #9 D_Fiona_Farvel, May 18, 2010
    Last edited: May 18, 2010
  10. Fleur

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    I understand the premise of the type of relationship...however I just don't think it is possible to that forcibly try to control emotions and feelings which are natural, such has jealously, anger, contempt, resentment, love...I actually think being in a committed open relationship is more constricting than a monogamous one.

    What's more for me, I do not think sex is a purely physical act and that you can control all the above emotions, including developing feelings for the person you had sex with...saying it's a "rule" to just be physical is over simplifying the entire act of making love...
     
  11. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    All of which I understand, in the context of your opinion or preferred lifestyle.

    However, for me, many of the above notions do not apply.
    I am not in the least conventional. Which is not to imply convention is a bad thing, merely, that one model, again, does not apply to all people.
     
  12. AlteredEgo

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    Like you, I find monogamy freeing. However, when I was single, I enjoyed thoroughly my promiscuity, and I did not attach emotions to sexual acts. I built really good friendships with most of the men, but I was never in love with them.
     
  13. B_Jules7

    B_Jules7 New Member

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    Ok, so how about this for a theory (obviously a gross generalisation):

    I think that it is easier for a man to have a meaningless sexual encounter with another women and yet still to love their wife/partner and not be unhappy. I bet there are countless exaplmes of married men who have a happy home, loving wife and kids but on the odd occassion they might be away on a business trip and fuck a waitress or hooker who is younger and more physically attractive than their wife. Those who don't do this may want tyo but have more self control and higher morals. But for the ones that do it they may have no emotional connection to the person and they love their wife & family and would not want to give it up. they just cannot resist the easy nsa sex with a gorgeous girl. This does not account for all men who cheat but I bet a large proportion.

    I think for women on the other hand, it is more likely that they cheat because they are unhappy. There will be the odd one who fucks the hot pool guy but again as a generalisation I think women are less inclined to want the nsa sex. They may seek it because they want the love or affection they are missing in their relationship.

    This is because women are built differently. They are more emotional than men... and the old saying "women use sex to get love and men use love to get sex" does have some truth to it.

    I honestly believe that it is easier for men to have emotionless nsa sex. I look at guy friends who have one night stands and girls who do the same and one end in cheers and the other in tears.
     
  14. Fleur

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    Emotions are not notions though...and you can be unconventional, nothing wrong with that, but to deny those feelings and emotions is ludicrous to me. And maybe not deny, but to say they don't exist or to merely ignore or put them in your subconscious and feel you're above them doesn't make them any less there.

    To me, an open relationship is much more controlling of you and your partner's emotional connection than a monogamous relationship is. To feel jealously for example is taboo, to feel resentment is taboo, to feel hurt is taboo...you've blacklisted all of these emotions and feelings as "non existent" and not part of your relationship by making a blanket rule. All of these are natural emotions and feelings.
     
  15. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Your attachment to those emotions are not similar to mine, nor my partner's.
    We do not make an effort to control anything, our relationship pattern reflects the way we both are naturally and our love of freedom.

    There is only one rule: safety first.
     
  16. Fleur

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    More power to you I guess. Your other rule should be to do no harm...meaning not having sex with people who are in monogamous relationships. Which, again...I find a lot of people in open relationships don't respect or take their part of the responsibility for...

    Anyway, you can be attached or not attached to a certain emotion, doesn't mean you do not experience said emotion. I do not equate open relationships to freedom, the exact opposite, like I said. It stifles emotions, in my opinion.
     
  17. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    :lmao:

    Perhaps I do not experience those emotions? :shrug:
    Placing my emotional life within the frame of your own really doesn't work.
     
  18. Fleur

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    Not sure why that's funny...unless you think you haven't slept with someone who was in a monogamous relationship. Just because the person you're with is the one doing the act of "cheating" doesn't mean you aren't helping them and hurting someone. It doesn't absolve you of being a part of the harm you're causing the innocent party.

    And if you're judging a sad situation, like someone cheating, that's also sad.


    I'm not trying to place your emotional life within any framework let alone my own.
     
    #18 Fleur, May 18, 2010
    Last edited: May 18, 2010
  19. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    :shrug: Who knows.
     
  20. HiddenLacey

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    To me its the same with men and women. Something is wrong in the relantionship or you wouldn't be looking elsewhere. You can't be in love with someone and hurt them in such a way. I just don't believe it. People can use whatever excuse they want to. When it comes time to do it, they make the selfish choice. Why not dump the person your with then go on your merry way? Cheating doesn't make sense to me under any circumstance's.
     
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