Recently bottomed for someone HIV+

gr81

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Performing oral sex on a guy is relatively low risk - increased significantly if he cums in your mouth - inreased agin if you have any kind of sore or abrasion on the gums. Although risk is low - its much higher than the average person thinks. Also, risk of other STD transmission is high.

Getting semen in your eye is very low risk. But risk is there.

The underpinning fact here is...
The HI virus is transmitted through bodily fluid, but essentially the virus must make it into the blood stream. In other words - swallowing a guys cum will not necessarily result in transmission as the natural entrance into the blood is not there. BUT, any lesion, abrasion or cut and there is a risk. These cuts may not be visible or know to you.

So, cum in the eye may be fine but a burst blood vessel in the eye at the same time =a problem. Even if technically very small.
 

gr81

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Just a thought... a medical professional who gets blood spatter in the eyes would initiate a course of PEP - a prophylactic dose of anti-retrovirals. Hence - a risk is acknowledged.
 

Uncutpete

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I want to make a point about the reaction of our community to this guy's post. It was kind. It was helpful. It did not judge, by and large. It was sex-positive and open. EVEN if this is a site dedicated to large penises.

I want to compare this reaction to anything that mentions questions or observations about younger people, family, nudity, adolescent sexuality and the like. These seem to be hair-triggers for torrents of abusive and judgmental posts, which then are replied to, taking the thread into the flames of semi-abusive argument -- which helps the person who originally posted not at all.

I would suggest that whatever the purpose of this site ("Support Group"), we are a community, and we are at our best when we act like one. If we suspect a post of not being serious, leave it alone. If someone asks for help or our advice, let's give it to him/her like the community we should be, without the contempt of a self-selected guardian of morals. Thanks and sorry to be off subject.
 

Gaydoc

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Kurtis, you need to speak to your doctor immediately. You have somewhere between 72hr and a week to get onto HIV medications for about a month, and you need to speak to someone who works with HIV infected patients. We refer to this as post exposure prophylaxis, and it is very effective in preventing the disease.

There are 2 bits of very good news here. #1, he was wrapped, you witnessed the condom going on and coming off. #2, he is supposedly on meds, but you can't be sure. ASSUMING he is telling you the truth..., and his blood level of virus is undetectable, the likelihood of his exposing you are really, really low. Worst case scenario, barebacked, inseminated, and the guy is a full blown liar, your risk of being infected from that single encounter is less than 1 in 10.

Get to a doctor IMMEDIATELY. See an infectious disease specialist, IMMEDIATELY. I don't give a hoot about your insurance, your entry words are that you need to speak to someone about "post exposure prophylaxis, ASAP"

Good luck. Obviously, don't make the mistake a second time. And yes, I am a real MD who knows what he is talking about.
 
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Hearing these kind of stories make me sick. What kind of a low-life piece of shit would do that to someone? I know different states have different laws but I don't see how what he did isn't criminal. He gives the human race a bad name.

To the OP, I hope everything works out for you. from what people have posted, it sounds like you'll be fine.
 

D_Tam_Ponds

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That is awful. If he did that to you, who else has/will he do that to? And they wouldn't know - and the chain continues. I know it's hard, but have you thought of seeking legal action against this monster? I would seriously consider it, especially for all those who weren't as fortunate as you to use protection/find out what you're dealing with.
 

D_BarryBunwarmer

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That is awful. If he did that to you, who else has/will he do that to? And they wouldn't know - and the chain continues. I know it's hard, but have you thought of seeking legal action against this monster? I would seriously consider it, especially for all those who weren't as fortunate as you to use protection/find out what you're dealing with.

I don't know what the laws are, but I would think I could probably sue for emotional distress. But I could only do that if I had money for a lawyer. Which I don't. I also don't have health insurance. I'm pretty much broke. So even if I test positive, I don't know how I would afford the medication.

To those talking about a 72hr or 74hr time table to get to a doctor, that time has passed. This encounter with him was two weeks ago.

I want to thank all of you for your responses. I don't have any gay friends to talk about this with. This is the only place I have spoken about it. I'd be ashamed and embarrassed to talk to a straight friend.

I'm mostly angry at myself for putting myself in this situation. I hope that I wont make this lapse in judgment ever again.

I'm also angry at the other guy. The vindictive part of me wants to tell him that I tested positive even if I haven't just to make him feel guilt. But then I think that maybe if I do test positive I might be like a trophy to him. I don't know.

I keep replaying the conversations I've had with him over in my head. We talked over instant message the day before I found this out. He kept going on about how he wanted to fuck me in every position and how good he thought my asshole felt. This doesn't sound to me like a guy who is taking responsibility over his illness. He sounds more like a predator.

And I can't get over how he told me he tells everybody else he hooks up with that he's positive but he didn't tell me because he liked me.

And he was going to tell me but he wanted to do it face to face. I don't believe that at all. He was never going to tell me.
 

D_BarryBunwarmer

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For some reason, I believe him when he says he doesn't have any other STDs or STIs. I think if he confessed to HIV he would have confessed to the others.

Of course I will still get tested to be sure. But this part, I believe to be true.
 

Hung_AB_Guy

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Forget suing him, go to the police. I don't know about where you are but I know in Canada that is considered Aggravated Sexual Assault if you do not disclose it, and I know some states (not all) have similar laws. Make this known before someone else is not so lucky.
 

D_BarryBunwarmer

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I've been trying trying to find what the legal standings are on this. This one sort of applies to my situation:

Reckless

This is where HIV is transmitted through a careless rather than deliberate act. If for example a person who knows they have HIV has unprotected sex with a negative person, but fails to inform them of the risk involved, this could be classed as reckless transmission in court. "Reckless" here implies that transmission took place as part of the pursuit of sexual gratification rather than because the HIV positive person intended to give their partner HIV (HIV is of course not 'automatically' transmitted every time someone has unprotected sex).
Criminal transmission of HIV
Does it still apply even though we used protection? Of course, I was the one who insisted on the protection. Left up to him, it would have been bareback

Maybe Reckless transmission doesn't apply here if transmission didn't occur. Maybe reckless endangerment?

This is a good video on this topic for those interested
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHpuiW3wOME
 
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D_BarryBunwarmer

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Reading the law of my state, I don't think I could take legal action:

Wisconsin does not have a criminal statute that specifically criminalizes HIV exposure through sexual intercourse. Rather, prosecutions can be pursued with charges of reckless endangerment, assault and battery, or even negligent homicide, depending on the circumstances.
The criminal charge in Wisconsin most commonly used by prosecutors in this situation is reckless endangerment. The crime requires proof that the defendant recklessly endangered the safety of another with utter disregard of human life.16 A prosecutor could argue that an HIV-positive defendant who knowingly engages in unprotected sex is recklessly endangering the safety of the sexual partner. Reckless endangerment is a felony that can carry a prison term of up to 10 years.17

We didn't have unprotected sex.
 

lunette

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Undetectable viral load.

If he really is undetectable, then he is almost certainly not going to pass on the virus even during unprotected sex.
But the risk, though very low, is still in principle there.
Also, he may have been undetectable the last time he was tested, but things may have changed.
And he may be lying about being undetectable.

Thanks for that reference. I didn't find any like it last night, good stuff.
 

Miscer

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you'll probably be fine. Nerve wracking though, no doubt.

the HIV dude should be strung up by his fucking balls.

the russians were right: trust but verify
 

derrick10

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Dude if you are open and public with your sexuallity? You could press charges. Even if you didn't ask. It is his responsiblity to disclose his status to you.
 

Raf1234

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You use protection so you are okay. Oral sex is low risk close to zero. For peace of mind test at 6 weeks for HIV and a full panel for other STDs. By this time the symptoms for other STDs should be present, but get test anyways like I said for peace of mind. That guy should be in jail, because I'm sure he is infecting people asking them to have unprotected sex knowing he is HIV positive. Take care
 

bodybuilder1980

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Sorry to stray off topic but its so frightening to know how many guys still practice barebacking. I came across this site rawmanorgydot.com and its extremely bizarre how unprotected sex group activity is so on the rise . I can understand HIV+ men all having group sex but there are some guys who want to become infected by participating in this group activity. No doubt, its a personal choice but its amazing the reasons that guys use to play unprotected. Too many are fed up of hearing about safe sex, some think its cool to get fuc*ed raw and just want to live life on the edge.
 

D_BarryBunwarmer

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Sorry to stray off topic but its so frightening to know how many guys still practice barebacking. I came across this site rawmanorgydot.com and its extremely bizarre how unprotected sex group activity is so on the rise . I can understand HIV+ men all having group sex but there are some guys who want to become infected by participating in this group activity. No doubt, its a personal choice but its amazing the reasons that guys use to play unprotected. Too many are fed up of hearing about safe sex, some think its cool to get fuc*ed raw and just want to live life on the edge.

And it's funny because just a few days ago, I had this guy message me online. He was like "Are you poz?" and I said "No" he said "Do you want to be?" And I say "Why would I want to be?" and he said "Dude, it's hot"

I thought that was strange. Had no idea I'd be faced with this just a little while later.
 

D_Tam_Ponds

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And it's funny because just a few days ago, I had this guy message me online. He was like "Are you poz?" and I said "No" he said "Do you want to be?" And I say "Why would I want to be?" and he said "Dude, it's hot"

I thought that was strange. Had no idea I'd be faced with this just a little while later.


Are you sure this wasn't the same guy under a different screenname? Creepy.