Redneck Horoscope

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by hypoc8, Jul 30, 2010.

  1. hypoc8

    hypoc8 Member

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    Redneck Horoscope

    OKRA
    Dec 22 - Jan 20

    Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have
    tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of
    his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies!

    CHITLIN
    Jan 21 - Feb 19

    Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're uncomfortable
    talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of
    himself if he's motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with
    Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins can burn and then erupt like Vesuvius, and this can make for a really terrible mess. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

    BOLL WEEVIL
    Feb 20- Mar 20

    You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things,
    and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say,
    you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their
    right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

    MOON PIE
    Mar 21- April 20

    You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to
    recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words
    here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

    POSSUM
    APR 21 - May 21

    When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to
    withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not
    psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.

    CRAWFISH
    May 22 - June 21

    Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf
    course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive
    physically, but you have very, very good heads.

    COLLARDS
    June 22- July 23

    Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of
    life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make
    good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal
    life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save
    yourself a lot of heartache.

    CATFISH
    July 24 - Aug 23

    Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. Your catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

    GRITS
    Aug 24 - Sept 23

    Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, thought so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

    BOILED PEANUTS
    Sept 24 - Oct 23

    You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best -- your friends and loved ones-may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

    BUTTER BEAN
    October 24 - Nov 22

    Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody.
    You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

    ARMADILLO
    Nov 23 - Dec 21

    You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.
     
  2. HiddenLacey

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    LMAO, I thought it was rather funny and silly! Thank you for sharing, I'm rather amused to know I'm a catfish :tongue:
     
  3. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Yep, and I'd love to see the pussy portion of your catfish. Tho, speaking as a possum, I won't play dead.:nono::yup::naughty:
     
  4. HiddenLacey

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    :biggrin1: Now I shall think of you as a possum! :wink:
     
  5. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Well, the redneck horoscope kinda describes possums as introverts and shy, you know, "he was always the quiet type." Trust me, my last e GF can contradict that faster than a spin doctor.:biggrin::naughty:
     
  6. HiddenLacey

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    You do seem rather upfront to me. As I recall you ask and say exactly what is on your mind! But that's cool, it makes you more fun to me!:biggrin1: I would rather someone be truthful than lie to me! What is a spin doctor or do you mean The Spin Doctors?
     
  7. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Urban Dictionary: spin doctor.
    amazed you never heard of that Old Michael J Fox series, Spin City?
     
  8. HiddenLacey

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    No I had never heard of it, but now I understand it's a DJ/ radiohost:biggrin1: Thanks for the FYI!!
     
  9. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    Apparently i'm a grit:confused:
     
  10. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'm another possum.
     
  11. witch

    witch Member

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    Collards ........ which by the way I had some for dinner this week :)
     
  12. HiddenLacey

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    I love Collards:wink:

    Seriously they are so good cooked with ham, then if you like vinegar put alittle on top of them on your plate..... mmmmm....

    Sweet Southern food:biggrin1:
     
  13. BiItalianBro

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    Brahahahahahahaha :headbang::banana:

    im a crawfish LOL
     
  14. idesofmarch

    idesofmarch New Member

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    BOLL WEEVIL

    I was married once, so where can I get a second opinion?:biggrin1:
     
  15. NCbear

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    I do believe I'm a moon pie.

    NCbear (who tried to eat one once and couldn't finish more than the first bite :eek:)
     
  16. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    So am I.

    MOON PIE
    Mar 21- April 20

    You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to
    recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here
    . You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.


    Aaargh.
    So true ... so painful.
     
  17. sxjTheFirst

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    Photo
    I am Boiled Peanuts. Yay-ish
     
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