Redneck Logic

[Pappy]

Well, it seems these two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided they
should go to college so they could get ahead. Bubba went in first, and the
professor advises him to take Math, History, and Logic.


"What's Logic?" Bubba asked.

"Well, let me give you an example," said the professor. "Do you own
a weed-eater?"

"Sure do," the redneck responded.

"Okay. Then I assume, using logic, that you have a yard," the
professor went on.


"That's real good," said the redneck, in awe.

"Logic also tells me that since you have a yard, you
also have a house. Is that right?"

"GAWL-LEE!" the redneck shouted.

"And since you have a house and a house is tough to
take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife.
Right?"

"Betty Mae! This is incredible!" Bubba is catching on now.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume you are
heterosexual rather than homosexual. Is that right?"

"You are absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thang I
ever heerd of. I can't wait to take this here logic class!"



Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the
hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin"? Cooter asks.

"Math, History, and Logic," replied Bubba

"What in tarnation is logic?" asks Cooter.

"Let me give you an example," Bubba says. "Do you own
a weed-eater?"

" No."

"You're Queer, aintcha?"

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

that's funny shit Pappy! I always appreciate a good redneck joke.

 

[yaoifun]

X'D thats priceless!

Heres a couple:

Your know your a redneck when:

You've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws

You get 512 TV Channels, and still have no in-door plumbing

Your grandmother can't inherit Grandpa's estate until she's 16

They're overused, but still some of my favorites!

 

[Ecchi]

The very sad thing is .... there are people in the world who think that way.

And as for the redneck jokes ... Jeff Foxworthy used to be (now usurped by Ron White) my favorite comedian. So I've heard of practically all of them.

 

[Pecker]

My all-time favorite:

You might be a Redneck if you ensure your inheritance by helping your rich uncle take the wheels off his new house.

 

[yaoifun]

Originally posted by Pecker@Mar 2 2005, 10:35 PM
My all-time favorite:

You might be a Redneck if you ensure your inheritance by helping your rich uncle take the wheels off his new house.

[post=287916]Quoted post[/post]​

That is, if your inheritance isn't stuck in a traffic jam en route to Dollywood!

 

[dcwrestlefan]

Originally posted by Ecchi@Mar 3 2005, 03:05 AM
The very sad thing is .... there are people in the world who think that way.

And as for the redneck jokes ... Jeff Foxworthy used to be (now usurped by Ron White) my favorite comedian. So I've heard of practically all of them.

[post=287909]Quoted post[/post]​

For anyone who has not seen the "Blue Collar Tour" video with White, Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy, you are missing a hilarious piece of work. I have it on DVD and nearly puked from laughing so hard the first time I watched it.

White and Larry were the best.

Here's one that was not on the vid though...
What's the first thing a girl from West Virginia says after sex? (scroll down)




































































Daddy daddy! Get up off me yer crushin mah cigarettes!

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

You might be a redneck if your brother beat the shit out of Jeff Foxworthy for making fun of your family.

 

[yaoifun]

You might be a redneck if you were voted "best mother" in High School.

You might be a redneck if you beat someone up for having a library card.

You might be a redneck if your house gets toilet papered and Momma says it's a blessing from god.

 

[dcwrestlefan]

What has 20 legs and 40 teeth?
(down)









































The front row of any movie theatre in West Virginia.

 

[yaoifun]

How do you divide a redneck 3rd grade classroom (if you make it that far)



Smoking and non-smoking



How do rednecks punish their children?



Take away their chewing tobacco

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

Originally posted by dcwrestlefan@Mar 3 2005, 12:06 AM
For anyone who has not seen the "Blue Collar Tour" video with White, Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy, you are missing a hilarious piece of work. I have it on DVD and nearly puked from laughing so hard the first time I watched it.

White and Larry were the best.

[post=287931]Quoted post[/post]​

I actually just received that from Netflix and was going to watch it this weekend. It came highly recommended from my father-in-law. Did you know that there is a Part 2 as well?

 

[Pecker]

You might be addicted to the internet if...

You use "LOL" in oral conversation.

 

[HungArnold]

Things that you would never hear a redneck say:

1.) Gollee, I couldn't marry her. She's only 13!

2.) Why would you want to date when you have a perfectly good sister at home?

3.) TV wrestling is fake!

 

[HungArnold]

Things that you would never hear a redneck say:

1.) Gollee, I couldn't marry her. She's only 13!

2.) Why would you want to date when you have a perfectly good sister at home?

3.) TV wrestling is fake!

4.) Elvis is dead.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

You might be a redneck if;


you stare at a container of orange juice because it says concentrate.

 

[Ecchi]

If you believe a chainsaw can be used as a musical instrument ... you might be a redneck ...

If your fishing boat is worth more than the sum value of all other possessions ... you might be a redneck ...

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

if you think 8-12 lbs is what the baby's diaper can hold.

 

[yaoifun]

Originally posted by HungArnold@Mar 3 2005, 06:32 PM
Things that you would never hear a redneck say:

1.) Gollee, I couldn't marry her. She's only 13!

2.) Why would you want to date when you have a perfectly good sister at home?

3.) TV wrestling is fake!

4.) Elvis is dead.

[post=288120]Quoted post[/post]​

5.) I'm gawnnuh go tayke uh shower Peggie Joe Sue!

And you might be a redneck if your lawn ornament used to get 21 Miles Per Gallon.

 

[dcwrestlefan]

Originally posted by TexAssgirl+Mar 3 2005, 09:17 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TexAssgirl &#064; Mar 3 2005, 09:17 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-dcwrestlefan@Mar 3 2005, 12:06 AM
For anyone who has not seen the "Blue Collar Tour" video with White, Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy, you are missing a hilarious piece of work.  I have it on DVD and nearly puked from laughing so hard the first time I watched it. 

White and Larry were the best. 

[post=287931]Quoted post[/post]​

I actually just received that from Netflix and was going to watch it this weekend. It came highly recommended from my father-in-law. Did you know that there is a Part 2 as well?

[post=288083]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

I&#39;ve not seen part two. Heard it was not as good as the first. Give us a report.