regret because of not having sex and party in youth :(

stiven

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Hi. I'm 27 years old and i never had sex. Its not because of my bad look, but because of my low selfconfidence since high scool. Years were flying by and here we are. 27 You will probably say go out and find somebody, but the problem is also those thaughts that are taking all my will to live away. I cant deal with the facts that i lost 12 years of my live and havent experienced nothing. Not going out into the club with friends in young years and party, no kissing, no sex, no one night stands, relationship, travelling. Because of that i dont feel competitive to girls that i like and i feel all are much better then me, on higher level and i'm not good enough for them and all of the people, because i havent alived so much then others, was almost all the time at home and work.

Its terrible if i go into the shopping center and see in 2 hours hundreds of women with which i would like to have sex and i know i didnt have such interesting past as them. Those thoughts are eating me up every single day, all day. I was also at therapist, but didnt help. Also i take antidepressants. But nothing cant take away the facts, that i'm not on same level as those girls who are having sex since , were on so many parties and so on. For them its normal to have a penis in their hands or mouth, for me this is science fiction and somebody who is 12 years behind in my opinion can never again be same worth as person who alived all those things in normal years (18-24). Sex is the highest thing in live and if you dont have it you havent lived. Therefor i dont know what to do, because there is no way out to feel the same worth as those people anymore, that have normal sex live since their high school. To be honest, the best would be this life would be over and i could sleep forever, to not have this fact thoughts every day...

PS: sorry for my bad english
 

rd62624

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sorry to here this, you said that you were in therapy find another one. you must find a way to live with your past and come to terms with it and not let it consume you or your every waking though.wish that you can find some kind of peace.
 

Luvhmlrg

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It's only too late if you never do anything to change it. So stop worrying about what you didn't do in the past and start doing something now. Go out and have fun, drink, have a one night stand.
 

Astro

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Striven, you must learn to like yourself first. Then be happy with the simple things in life, music, art, entertainment, beloved pets, people close to you. Look at the good things in your life. Stop taking the blame for everything bad- it's not your fault. Speak to people, smile, start conversations, help people, be kind. Buy nice clothes, tone your body and go to clubs, alone if you don't have someone to go with. If you need to trim your body, then go to a gym. Somewhere along the way, you will start enjoying life. Be inwardly happy and it will show on the outside. We all have to make the most of what nature gives us, but don't let this cycle of depression continue going round and round- try and break this circle of depression for your sake! Whatever is making your life so hard, you must deal with it. Move out, change job, separate...whatever, but don't submit to it and let it continue- for your life! Whatever our lot in life, remember it beats the alternative.
 

B_ILIW

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well because of the influence of pop culture media houses, only the anointed (lol..) can do that loll.

But you know what? 27 is young by any standard. Meet women, get friends with benefits, and hold plenty of house parties. Why not? Is there a RATIONAL (logic is to fuck but who cares?) reason why not, since only a dope would say 27 is old?
 

someperson

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Hi. I'm 27 years old and i never had sex. Its not because of my bad look, but because of my low selfconfidence since high scool. Years were flying by and here we are. 27 You will probably say go out and find somebody, but the problem is also those thaughts that are taking all my will to live away. I cant deal with the facts that i lost 12 years of my live and havent experienced nothing. Not going out into the club with friends in young years and party, no kissing, no sex, no one night stands, relationship, travelling. Because of that i dont feel competitive to girls that i like and i feel all are much better then me, on higher level and i'm not good enough for them and all of the people, because i havent alived so much then others, was almost all the time at home and work.
25 same here
I don't let it bother me like you do.
 

B_ILIW

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Striven, you must learn to like yourself first. Then be happy with the simple things in life, music, art, entertainment, beloved pets, people close to you. Look at the good things in your life. Stop taking the blame for everything bad- it's not your fault. Speak to people, smile, start conversations, help people, be kind. Buy nice clothes, tone your body and go to clubs, alone if you don't have someone to go with. If you need to trim your body, then go to a gym. Somewhere along the way, you will start enjoying life. Be inwardly happy and it will show on the outside. We all have to make the most of what nature gives us, but don't let this cycle of depression continue going round and round- try and break this circle of depression for your sake! Whatever is making your life so hard, you must deal with it. Move out, change job, separate...whatever, but don't submit to it and let it continue- for your life! Whatever our lot in life, remember it beats the alternative.

lulzz.. modern psychology is full of poo.

why then are most people "not nice" and still get by? lol.. lol.. do you use stupid rationalisations to justify exclusive rights to sex or something?
 

B_ILIW

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Why did you lack confidence? Were you being bullied? Had poor social skills?

I think in honesty, having sex/partying in youth is a social norm. But then younger people everywhere are more wild everywhere.

I'd still say 27 is young, and only a dope would say it's "old". Plot out what you want and go for it. If you want sex, then go out and get it.
 

chubbystubby

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Never regret. You are you and is right for you is right for you.

My cock size held me back and do you know what??? Most couldn't care. I have a lovely life now once I let go of my hang ups. Even now putting vids up and cam on chat rooms. Wouldn't have done that a few years ago.

Stay strong and only listen to the advice you find useful. Believe in you
 

Popyuu

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Sex really isn't everything, not by a long shot. It just seems that way right now because you haven't had it. I'm sure there are lots of other things you haven't done but aren't upset about. Life isn't a race, you'll get to where you want to be with steady determined steps.
 

B_verilux

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It's almost pointless for me to respond to this thread Because I'm just repeating whatever else is already said. You're still young. Most of us responding probably long for the days when we were only 27 years old.
 

Ocine

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I would say in im the same case, not because I get bullying or having a small penis (well if I believe what I read here im pretty big)

But Im not really social, I don't like to talk to people in real, don't like to dance or alchool etc... and maybe a bit shy too, but for now I dont regret anything
 

OscarM

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I used to think that way, but I realize that after looking at my young self - I'm not a clubber, partier, or otherwise social person. I wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway. I prefer a quiet time or hanging out with small groups of friends.

So you might have to find another way to meet some one - dating sites, craigslist, join a club, travel. You can even go clubbing if that's what you're *really* into.
 

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I'm nearly 38 and haven't had sex, but I'm happier now than perhaps I've ever been. I think when I was 27 I definitely worried more about having sex, but the more I saw my friends having kids and having relationships the more I realized that's not what I wanted. Sex by itself wasn't going to make me happy. I still would like to have sex, but it isn't something that I let define my life. If it happens it happens, same as winning the lottery, but there are so many other things I enjoy that I'm not going to let one thing I don't have bring me down. There are too many other things that are good, fun or interesting that dwelling on sex isn't productive so there's no reason to worry about it.
 

Exbiker

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I started having sex too young I think - 18 with girls, and 21 with men. I wish I'd given it a couple more years.

You can start at any time ... 27, 37, even 47. It's ALL OK.

I am thinking your issue is more confidence / knowledge rather than how you look, but as has been said, if that's any part of it, then working on your body ( at home or gym ) can help, and selecting a few better outfits of clothing. Better haircut sometimes. It doesn't have to take a lot.

It's also about where you go / where you hang out / what you like to do.

But on the confidence and knowledge thing :-

1. Believe me, I've known very good looking, fit men who are generally confident in life, but who still have confidence issues with prospective sexual partners, that can really get in the way. There's no logic to it, and everyone has confidence issues sometimes. You just need to learn to manage it - take a few risks and see how it goes.

2. If it's because you haven't had sex yet, DON'T WORRY about the actual act. Thinking about it too much can get in the way. Just go with the flow, and understand that there's no objective standard you need to compete with. It's about what's right for YOU and your partners. If you can get hard and ejaculate when masturbating, you CAN have sex. You learn some of the rest "on the job" as it were ...

3. It's a process where you learn as you go. I am STILL finding out new things about sex, after just over 25 years of it. It is NOT something where everyone else knows much more than you do. You will find some of your partners can teach you things, and others can benefit from your perspective, once you get going.

4. Having a go at something, seeing how it goes, just taking the risk, is much better than never even trying. You WILL get setbacks. You WILL get refusals / people going quietly away. That's OK though. Not every potential match needs to be made real. But none of that is anything to be afraid of. Think about your end years. Do you really want them to be just filled with regret for missed opportunities ?

5. Do NOT think these other people who had sex / went out to nightclubs back when you were in your late teens / early twenties are BETTER than you. They are NOT. That would be absurd. People gain value from what they do for other people, how they contribute to society, how they cooperate. NOT how much sex they have, or how many trendy nightspots they go to. If you've been looking after your education, your career, maybe some of the family and friends around you, then NO-ONE can say you aren't as valuable as anyone else.

I wish you all the best. But just ... relax. Let things happen. Go with the flow.

:smile:
 
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Uncutsouthernboy

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Quit whining and get up and do something about it. Everyone else has. I was a late bloomer too. I was just "backward" about it. Partly due to my upbringing. Everyone else around me was having sex but me. I finally decided it was time to join in. Yes, I regret, somewhat, that I had not earlier but I am glad that I finally did.

Get off the anti-depressants as they can cause sexual performance problems. Get some nice clothes. If you are on a budget then shop resale. Get a good hair cut. Take a bath and brush your teeth. Look at how handsome you are. Go out and meet PEOPLE and make some friends, male and female. The sex will come IF you let it.
Take a class of some sort, especially one that females would. A class in which you can interact with others. Something like Art, cooking, foreign language etc. Just have a good time. Find someone you might like, ask her out to coffee or something, talk and be yourself. Ask her out again. If she is agreeable to a 2nd date then go somewhere nicer where you can talk. Keep the conversation on HER not you. Show interest. Don't be self-centered. Be fun and don't be wimpy. Have a good time. Sex will happen. Don't be afraid that you won't know what to do. Again, pay more attention to her. If you can't get it up for some reason, like fear, don't worry about it. Get her off. Your dick might respond and come back. If not, don't worry. Don't stress over it. You are not a failure as it happens to most guys sometime. It will work next time.

Or just go get a hooker. You will loose your virginity but you will regret that being your first sexual experience too.
 

pinokio

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The responds are very meaningful and helpful, good to read them for anyone, not only sb who has the problem.

I think that sex is extremely important but still you should not overrate it as it's not the only beautiful thing in life and does not determine if one's worthy or not. Be careful if anyone was giving you clear suggestions of willing to have sex with you. Even if that was a long time ago, start the contact again, HUNT - you can get nobody but the mere fact of hunting should make you more engaged and vivid. Be funny and as relaxed as you can.

I lost my virginity in an orgy when I was just 19 and it was not sth that left me happy, then had no sex till being 24, my needs are quite small. Then I invited a person from the past and spent some time in bed with her, wasn't perfect but I've felt glad that I was over the borderline and in control. I also know a guy who was a virgin till 25 but fell in love with my cousin who is a very beautiful girl every guy dreams of. All of her boyfriends were virgins, there is no rule and some women like to choose not experienced guys.
 

D_Dick_Everhard

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Sex is a mountain peak of a relationship. At the base is acquaintance, discovering traits in her that interest you, and spending platonic time together.

Getting lucky is appropriately named as it is not done from skill.

A lady with real character will treat inexperience as a precious stone, the rest will use and abuse. Boys with inflated ego will see you as easy limelight.

I believe sex is the highest point in survival, not a truly lived life.