Regret?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by DaveyR, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Is regretting something a negative emotion? I'm not sure to be honest. I can think of many occasions where short term I have regretted my deeds and actions. Long term? Very very few things do I regret. Usually what I thought was a bad decision turned out to lead to positive things in the long term.

    Do you spend much time regretting things or are you more fatalistic?
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    I don't really spend any time with regrets. All of the decisions in my life were based on the best possible options available. Some things did not work out so you play the hand you are dealt and make the new choices based on the best possible options.
     
  3. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Absolutely. I figure why spend time worrying about what has gone as you cannot alter it.
     
  4. Bbucko

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    I'm a total fatalist here.

    I try and avoid regret because it just seems so futile most of the time, though like any other complex emotional reaction has both its positive and negative qualities. Stigma is another great example of a useful emotional response with a really bad reputation: stigmatizing racism and homophobia is a good thing, for instance.

    Regretting something done in life is different from regrets over something left undone; the first is remorse (which can be good when it leads to amends), the second is just so much mental masturbation.
     
  5. nudeyorker

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    Whenever I feel like it would be festive to have a little pity party I put this on the stereo and pour a glass of scotch and think to myself... That's Life!
     
  6. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    For the purposes of this thread I hadn't thought about the issue of regretting the undone. Whilst still futile I believe it can be useful for future learning.
     
  7. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    He sounds just a bit like Jolson towards the end, at least to me.
    I like your taste in Sinatra performances.
     
  8. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    I don't think it's necessarily any more futile than regretting something you've done.
    Both cases can be useful springboards into doing something useful and laudable.
    But do as I say, and not as I do, CS.
     
  9. SpeedoGuy

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    I have a tendency to brood over my regrets, more so over those that involved some harm or inconvenience to others.
     
  10. D_Gaylegate Greatfloppye

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    Thats the same for me. If I have hurt someone I always regret it.
     
  11. exwhyzee

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    Agreed. There are some things I regret because my actions were immoral or wrong...such as sucking my best friends dick while he slept. I regret not having handled other situations in my life better...such as social and financial choices, but I tend to give myself a break knowing I made the best choice I could at the moment and I don't dwell on them. I learn (hopefully, but not a certainty)...and move on.

    I don't think regret is such a bad thing if it motivates us to self improvement and better things.

    Resentment is a stronger negative emotion that I have to battle.
     
  12. flame boy

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    I think most people have regrets, they may just be a passing thought as you go to sleep at night or it may be something which really consumes you (depending on the type of person you are). I try not to dwell on what I did or did not do, some things I wish I had done differently but hindsight is one hell of a thing. Personally, my mantra is "everything happens for a reason" so I try my best to just accept things and understand that at the time I felt the decision I made was the best one.
     
  13. DiscoBoy

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    I used to fixate quite a bit on regrets, and it'd drive me a little crazy. I've since inched very slowly toward being more fatalistic. No point in griping over matters that have passed.
     
  14. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    There are only about three-four personal and actual regrets in my life I still cling to. The rest, well the last 30 yrs have taught me to willingly forget about it.
     
  15. Joll

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    I used to obsess a lot more than I do now. Beating yourself up endlessly can be crippling and stuff up future chances.

    Now, I try to identify where I went wrong, and not waste any energy feeling bad about it. I do still over-analyse current situations tho, lol.
     
  16. Phil Ayesho

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    regret, well directed, can be a sign of a growing awareness of one's responsibility to other souls.

    I never regret my choices or my actions, insofar as they affect me...
    But I do regret every thoughtless word or deed that hurt someone I love... a friend, my children, my wife...

    But in regretting those inadvertent injuries, I resolve to be more aware that every soul is tender to the touch and to tread softly.
     
    #16 Phil Ayesho, Oct 9, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2010
  17. accemb

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    I feel regret is a natural emotion, and as others have posted, a learning experience. I find that as I grow older, I have let go of old regrets and haved moved on.
     
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