rejected again because of the size of my dick

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Feb 29, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    wristthickxl: Hi there....Thought I could only share this experience here....and perhaps mostly for the gay men in the group...

    But I met a guy a few weeks ago and we had really hot sex together for a while, not much in the way of anal intercourse though...but in the last week, we tried it twice...and he found it very hard to take me (7 inches around)..

    today, he sent me an e-mail saying that he finds my dick VERY hot (along with other things) but that he "dreads" the idea of getting fucked again by me because my cock is way too thick and the only way he can even begin to take it is with poppers, which he doesn't like to use...

    I'm a handsome, intelligent guy who can land many guys but my entire life, I've found very few men who really got pleasure anally from my cock...

    I'm 41 now and this tune is getting old.....many gay men say they are size queens but if you have a particularly fat cock, the majority can't handle it...

    can anyone else identify with this? any solutions? I am seriously considering going to the doctor to ask about penile reduction surgery though I can't find anything legit about it on the net..I just want to have NORMAL sex...

    finally, through theyfit.com, I found condoms that fit..that's a step in the right direction..Now I'd just like find a man that fits too:)
     
  2. GottaBigOne

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    I really feel for you man. I am not as thick as you but i too have trouble having bearable anal sex with my gf. But my problem is not as big as yours because anal sex isn't the only option for penetration with me, I can have vaginal sex.

    I don't really have any suggestions just maybe to resign to the fact that you will never be able to have anal sex with someone right away but will have to wrok to get them used to it a bit i guess. I really don't know much about it, but I've seen guys take a fist up there, so it can be stretched to accomodate big things.
     
  3. Imported

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    tomarctus: Wristthickxl,
    Please do not even consider getting surgery for that. Ever. It can damage the nerves so badly you may never enjoy sex again. If it works now don't dare mess with it.
    I, personally, do not enjoy getting fucked by a dick of any size. I don't enjoy fucking either. Instead my favorite activity is jacking off in front of each other or giving each other mutual hand jobs.
    I have the opposite problem than yours. I get rejected by hung guys because I don't like to get fucked, even though I like so many other exciting activities.
    I would love to be fucked between my legs by a big dick, but I can only enjoy rimming as an ass activity.
    However, as a fist top for the past 28 years or so, I know of many men who can take my forearm at 11" circumference and my hand at 9" circumference. I have masturbated inside an ass with my hand and my cock inside. I have had both hands in an ass.
    Here's a suggestion. Check out fistfuck bottoms. It seems your cock would be satisfying for them and the fuck or you. Ignore the "size queens" who just want to look.
    If fucking is your major turn on than the fisting crowd is the place to look. I'm sure there are plenty of fistees in A'dam, or Nijmegen or R'dam or even Köln who could take your thickness and also give the right squeeze to make it worthwhile.
    I can't stand the thought of you risking surgery for this. The fisting crowd is huge and all or most of them can handle and satisy you.
    If you were in Los Angeles I could introduce you to fistees able to take your girth. Sure, I want to give you a hand job and let you fuck my thighs. That would delight me. But it sounds like you really want to be inside a guy's ass.
    I've fisted guys up to my 11" forearm without poppers. As a consequence, I know from personal experience that it is possible and satisfying.
    And I thought I had problems being rejected because I was too small at 6.8 x 5.5!
    Wristthickxl, you can IM me anytime.
     
  4. Imported

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    tigerwolf: Poor wristthick.. If you weren't in your 40's I'd do ya. :)
    I'm a bit of a masochist, and my main bf is a little over 7-7.25" in girth, and I know I love it. ^^ I'd never turn someone down because they were 'too thick'


    And NEVER consider getting a penile reduction. If anything get bigger. ^^
     
  5. Imported

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    Thumper_10x7_CA: What type of guys are you attracted to wristthck? I know that seems like an odd question but maybe you need to pursue more, how shall I say, experienced men.
    I'm 6.5 around and widen to 7+ at the base and I've had no problem finding guys who can take my cock, and more. But I'm also attracted to a more 'edgy' kind of guy. Street worn is how I like to describe them. Not street as in street walker, I mean as in butch, kinky looking. Think Titan video. Stereotypically the street worn look guys are into more extreme practices. Their experience in that has made them very 'receptive.'
     
  6. Imported

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    Mighty_Joe: I'd like to "hold it and try".
     
  7. Imported

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    wristthickxl: Thanks guys for the supportive answers and the efforts to try and help but I fear my problem is still the same....Two of you had worthwhile suggestions I've pursued but both really don't work for me...Guys who like to get fisted can, by and large, take me (though not always, which I don't really understand, given the fact they can get fisted)..but after I've fucked them for a while, they want to get fisted, or want to get fisted first and then have me fuck them..And I'm not into fisting. I lose my erection. And, as for dating men with lots of experience, I realise I'm generalizing, which is dangerous, but many aren't looking for a relationship. I just like the boy-next-door types. Today, I looked back on my life and realised that the vast majority of men I've wanted to be with have found me too big. On the one hand, I can go to a sauna and get practically anyone I want (but not usually for anal), which is a big kick. But on the other, my possibilities for anal sex are limited...The surgery option seems reasonable to me but I can't find anything on the Net about it that's actually not an ad for penis enlargement. Does anyone know anyone who has undergone such an operation? Does it even exist? Don't worry guys, I probably won't do it, but I'd like to look into it. I'm just tired of not being able to have normal sex. Imagine for the straight guys in the audience, if someone said your dick is too big for vaginal sex. You'd want to change it too...Thanks again for the support. This is why I signed up for this forum in the first place....
     
  8. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Wrist, I know where you're coming from because you and I are of a similar girth. I have been turned down for anal sex before, but on the other hand, I have been specifically scoped out by dedicated bottoms as well. What I have found to be typical, at least in my area, is that the bigger and butcher they are the more they can accomodate. For some reason, it seems the athletic, linebacker types are the ones who like to get plowed by particularly thick cocks. Go figure!

    I urge you not seriously to consider penile reduction surgery (sorry about the awkward wording; I was avoiding a split infinitive!) for a number of reasons. For one, it is expensive. How expensive? About $12,000 for the surgery alone. That does not include consultations with the surgeon or the hospital stay. For another thing, it is still in its experimental stage, so any surgeon willing to perform the operation has limited, if any, experience with it. Also, it's risky. There is a possibility of nerve damage and/or impotence, not to mention haemorrhaging on the table because of vascular system of the penis. Another thing is appearance. Sorry if I sound vain, but I think I have an attractive cock. I've seen photos of the results of penis reduction surgeries, and I would find it difficult to accept the lumpy. mishapen penes that I've seen in those photos.

    Rest assured that there men out there who can accomodate your cock, and even prefer a thick cock like yours. Your challenge is to find them. $12,000 can pay for a lot of lubricant!
     
  9. Imported

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    tigerwolf: I dunno DMW. I'm definitely not butch, and I'm not very big (only 6' tall, and not exactly stocky built either..), and I can take it a lot better than most guys. I think part of it is also that I'm a bit of a masochist. *chuckle*

    I dunno. That's prolly just me.
     
  10. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    I was relating what I have found to be typical according to my experience. There have been exceptions, and you are hardly 'typical' of my sexual partners.
     
  11. Imported

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    tigerwolf: I dunno. I've been with both when I was a top. I find that the skinny twink bois can handle it pretty well sometimes, and I'm the same size as you, myself. I think its also dependant a lot on how well they can control their body, simple as that.
     
  12. jonb

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    Well, I don't know about all the anal sex issues, but I will say there is one thing worse than being turned down because of a particular trait: Someone starting a relationship with you because of that trait and that trait alone.

    Tom's probably right, at least from an anatomical standpoint.
     
  13. Imported

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    Javierdude22: Like DMW said, do not ever do anything about your dick man, there are quite a number of examples which went horrifyingly wrong.

    It sounds easy, which it isnt, but ya gotta try and search a bit more. Eventually, itll work.
     
  14. Imported

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    reir: if anal doesn't work for you then don't do anal. my boyfriend can't even begin to take my cock anally (and i'm not all that especially thick at 6 around) so we just do other things. sex is still great.
     
  15. Imported

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    conclave27: As a gay man who is on the recieving side of things, I can empathize with you. Yeah it is hard to take that in, I know I had to plan for such nights for things to go right. Your bottom has to be ready for you, and yeah he has to plan around. Yet if the time is right things can happen with no problem. It takes time and patience. Dont' give up at all.
    Don't change thngs on your end, it is your reciever who has to be able to accomadate you. I am not into fisting at all. If the guys your were with were able to fist, then they are able to handle you. Just make your desires known, and stand firm.
     
  16. Imported

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    wristthickxl: Hi Guys,

    I really appreciate the time you are devoting to my query...And thankful that we don't have to endure more of the "I've got a huge one and never had a problem" attitude...I'm glad this conversation is being handled with respect and realism...

    I'm hoping the last two contributors can elaborate...Conclave, tell me about the preparations you make..That would interest me greatly (though, if one is just meeting someone for an Internet date, it might be kind of awkward to ask them to do whatever you do first but I'm eager to hear your suggestions...I'm desperate)...

    And to reir, I'm wondering how long you have been in your current relationship. Your attitude is admirable but not viable for me..I enjoy anal sex too much and have been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years now and that's a long time to go with out it...That's why I have other liasons, or at least try to...

    Thanks guys for your help. Best regards
     
  17. Imported

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    reir: The current one, a little over a year. I think the enjoyment I might get out of anal sex is not worth the lack of enjoyment (and uncomfortable pain) my boyfriend gets. we both decided we're in this to enjoy it with eachother (and more importantly, to enjoy eachother in general), so anal (with him on the receiving end, anyway) is out. I'd rather us both be happy than just get myself off while he's being tortured. Doesn't seem fair.
     
  18. Imported

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    markw: Mate, don't go down the surgical reduction route. There are loads of guys out there who would enjoy accomodating you... It's just a question of finding them :(

    My current bf is 7.5" wide and I just love getting it from him whenever I can..

    Mark
     
  19. Imported

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    conclave27: Sorry about posting so late....

    One things I do, if I know I am going to have anal sex I try not to eat anything heavy that day. Soft foods are just a lite meal for one. In all honesty as a bottom, that is the one thing that gets me all tense if I am worried about a "big drill hitting oil".

    Second I just try to remain relaxed, skip any foreplay, becuase when your bottom is ready they are ready. I noticed if I engaged in foreplay I would be tighter for some reason. Plus I would honestly do some stretching earlier. Bending down, leg lifts, something lite as a runner's stretch.

    Third some position that really worked well (if you have a long term bottom... experiment until you find you that is best).

    -For me, standing up facing the wall, then bending down with my back toward the wall. Provide great back support for me, plus it does stretch my hole so makes it more accomodating.

    -Come to think of it any position in which the body bends like that, actually writing hem down now it seems the key is to have your bottom bend so his hole stretchs, but best if you are not face to face. Not romantic but it always worked for me.

    I know these may sound silly, but I tried to accomadate my top. Don't give up. Hopefully you can find someone that will be patient and understanding.
     
  20. Imported

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    ital4blkversat: Guy do not have any reduction, i have had only bf s(versatiles) who could take my 9x6 and that have always been around 6 and 7.5 in girth. My first bf was 10.5 x 7 and when i met him i was still virgin back there. I tried cause i wanted him so bad. After a week i was able to make him cum without stopping him.... and i never stopped him in the following four years we were together.....
     
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