Rejection!

hud01

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how do you handle it?does it stop you from approaching someone that you've found attractive?or are you the type to not let it bother you,and just keep on being outgoing?

You can't succeed without trying and if you try rejection is always a possibility. It only takes one to say yes. One thing you could do, without getting overly anal, is to look at what you did to figure out why you were rejected.

If you have huge ones, ask the girl who rejected you why she did it and ask her to be honest. Hey I want to know what I did wrong, was it how I dress, how I look, my cologne, or any other reasons why you shot me down.
 
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Personaly it bothers me about as much as a pin prick but all u can do is take the risk and if your rejected take it stride and from the looks of your pics they must think there the hottest things that ever lived and can gett somthing better but hey there loss your hot n hung there blind n stupid just remember its not a nightmare its realaity
 

lopo2000

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I see it like it. Before we try, we either pursue it or not. If we don't pursue because of shyness or fear of rejection, we're actually rejecting ourselves. And when we do pursue it, we might get accepted or rejected, and if we are rejected, it'll be from someone else. So, my point is, how is rejecting yourselves any worse than being rejected by others? Then, you'll feel good about it a little bit. :)
 

Smooth88

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It does bother me a bit and I'm very stubborn but all it takes is one to say yes. But sometimes if I see that person who rejected me I may subliminally rub it in their face like you could have had me but now another girl is EXTREMELY happy because you messed up. Unless I know she can do better than going in then everything I said is moot. I'm disappointed and move on unless she comes to me later.
 

B_quietguy

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Even if one woman is not interested in me, I don't mind and I don't take it personally. I just let her know that if she changes her mind, I might consider her offer. After that, I just move on to other things to do, people to meet, and places to go.
 

lowteg

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It happens man, just part of life you cant have every thing you want..

Ive had my fair share of rejections...im not bad looking either lol alot of girls say I look liek justin timberlake haha is that a let down but haha
 

D_Vladimir Jurkov

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If you have huge ones, ask the girl who rejected you why she did it and ask her to be honest. Hey I want to know what I did wrong, was it how I dress, how I look, my cologne, or any other reasons why you shot me down.

I don't suggest this because it will probably be seen as weird and will make matters worse because whether you like it or not, people talk about you behind your back.

As for the original questions - I am horrible with rejections. I've only HAD rejections so my fear is high and I know I don't take it very well so I don't take any chances. Besides my fear of rejection, there's also a big fear of what it will do to my confidence. If all the previous rejections have had such a profound affect on me, than my assumption is that another one will make it worse. Out of everyone I've known and the responses so far, I am the worst in this area.
 

bigbulgelicker45

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I've never really approached guys in the past since I'm kinda shy but I have sent a drink to them in the past (if I've seen him cruising me) and unfortunately they've never responded or even said "thanks." Maybe a couple have.

If I've been approached in the past, I've always at least talked to guys for a few minutes (whether I've been interested or not) just to see if we might click. On the flip side if I wasn't interested I've politely told the interested party that I had something to do early in the morning and I had to leave.

I don't think I've ever left anyone dangling (no pun intended).
 

OCMuscleJock

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You just move on. If you have any good friends that are girls...maybe ask them if there is something that you do that may be causing the rejection and work on fixing the thing or things they mention. Otherwise, just accept that, she wasn't into you that way and move on to Miss Next. Ratio of girls to guys is staggering... there will be another. :)
 

Mr. Bungle

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Let's face it, being rejected sucks... but you just gotta get over it and move on. Don't dwell on it. Some rejections are harder to handle than others, and the *deeper* I get without asking the person out and thus getting some closure, the worse it is. But it gets easier to deal with as time goes on, because basically, I just don't give a shit anymore. And I mean that in a good way. Makes it easier to move forward. My baseball coach in high school always said, after one of us got hit by a pitch, "only hurts for a minute.." same thing goes for rejection. In my teens and 20s, I'd dwell on rejection til my self-esteem REALLY began suffering... but now, I see a girl I like and I'll start talking to her and see what kinda feedback I get. If I feel that it's ON, then great - and if not, eh, no big deal. Only hurts for a minute. I'll find someone who I click with.
 

invisibleman

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how do you handle it?does it stop you from approaching someone that you've found attractive?or are you the type to not let it bother you,and just keep on being outgoing?

I handle rejection like this.

Yeah, I can fall in love with a person that doesn't like me. I can also fall for someone who loves me now who will later break my heart.

When I look at it like that. Rejection is nothing. It puts things in perspective.

So, if I meet someone I like. I just be there. If they aren't into me, I respect that and I move on.
But sometimes I get rejected and the person feels needs to disrespect me...I don't tolerate that. I let them know that the rejection was sufficient but being a shitty person could be a flushable defense. :mad:
 

invisibleman

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if i really liked the girl i spend a few weeks getting really drunk and fucking randos to validate my attractiveness. it really isn't healthy but it is a lot of fun

You probably don't need to get drunk to get a girl. You are probably just as fun without the dependence upon alcohol.

You should pretend that you are drunk at nightclubs...and act a fool. You can get away with it--within reason.
 

hud01

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I don't suggest this because it will probably be seen as weird and will make matters worse because whether you like it or not, people talk about you behind your back.

As for the original questions - I am horrible with rejections. I've only HAD rejections so my fear is high and I know I don't take it very well so I don't take any chances. Besides my fear of rejection, there's also a big fear of what it will do to my confidence. If all the previous rejections have had such a profound affect on me, than my assumption is that another one will make it worse. Out of everyone I've known and the responses so far, I am the worst in this area.
I am talking about being at a bar where you probably won't ever see her again.
 

TheRob

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how do you handle it?does it stop you from approaching someone that you've found attractive?or are you the type to not let it bother you,and just keep on being outgoing?

I'm sort of glad you asked because I have a little story that is really kind of funny. For me, I've always been more afraid of being afraid, then whatever I was actually worried about being afraid about. If that makes sence, I wasn't as much afraid of anything specifically but I was afraid that I would be afraid of something someday. If that makes sence. (Drowning I'm terrified of but other then that I'm basically good)
So I was not, initially afraid of rejection. I was however afraid that if I did get rejected I would wind up fearing rejection. Some people would look at that as an actual fear of rejection but it is slightly different. So I decided that I would act as if I had a fear of rejection and find some girl to reject me so that I could desensitise myself to rejection and be ok with it.
I selected a girl I would (at the time) have picked as being totally out of my leauge. Absolute rockin girl right, model quality face, fantastic body and she had a b/f. So I figured even if by some fluke she would normally say yes to a date, she'll turn me down because she has a b/f right so I can't lose. Or in this case I can't win right?
Anyway I ask her out on a lunchdate, nothing serious cus I didn't want to offend her but enough for a woman with a b/f to decline...well she accepted. So that screwed me up. I asked her like 3 or 4 times and she kept accepting. Finally I told her "look, I like having lunch with you but I asked you out cus I thought you'd say no, I was trying to get over my fear of rejection and you are not helping me here." she said ok and I asked her the next day to go to lunch with me, she said yes again!
I went to lunch with her and we talked but after that I quit asking cus I couldn't get her to turn me down.