Relationship advice: age difference, maturity, etc

hungandhard

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Over the summer I met this beautiful young lady that I really liked. We worked together, I was an undergrad and she was a graduate student. Anyways, she and I ended up talking a lot and I found out she liked me. I am 20 years old, she is 27 years old. We attend the sane univirsity.. Im working on my undergrad abd she is working in her 2nd masters degree. We are getting along really well, we have similar interests and things are going well. I have a few concerns... 4 months ago, she was engaged to her longtime boyfriend. She thinks she is moving along to quickly, so we aren't officially dating but we act like we are besides that are not having sex and aren't saying "I love you", etc. My question is, is the age gap too much? Do you think there will be a large maturity difference? Am I a rebound for her & how long before its socially acceptable for us to be official?. I understand that every relationship is different but would like to hear what others have to say. Thank you :) she and I talk about all this often, so we have the communication down... Any guy younger than his girl or girl older than her guy? It's not a typical scenario and I'm curious as to how it has worked out.
 

rbkwp

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Quite an ideal age gap i think
Rather have the Lady older than the man myself, Stability Maturity & Security
Dont even think of Social acceptability, if compatible it will work for you both huh?
Thats all thats important
Sounds like your a real Mature guy for your age as well
Rebound, well only you can suss that out
GOOD Luck to you both.
 

Phil Ayesho

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Primary concern I can see is that a woman 7 years older than you is going to have her biological clock ticking a lot faster and a lot louder.
If she is interested in having children at some point... that point is going to come pretty quickly for a woman at 27, compared to a man at 20.

While you have decades to decide about fatherhood.. she, realistically, has less than 10 years before age seriously impacts any potential for her to become a mother.

Thus, if serious, you need to be prepared for and accepting of the idea of being a dad by age 30. Or maybe even age 25,

Its not a problem if you are mature enough... but lots of guys really aren't... we tend to be very slow on that particular uptake.


If you are thinking this is just a fling or short term relationship, and she feels the same, then the age difference doesn't matter.
 

hungandhard

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I appreciate the feed back! I actually really like children and work with them nearly daily as I work in 2 different school districts. She and I have had brief discussion on that subject... and I am very open to having children fairly soon. My only stipulation was that I wanted to be out of college with a job. She doesn't want to wait much later than 30 and claims to not want to have children after 35 but thankfully we both are advocates of adoption.

This isn't a fling, I have had a few of those and I can tell I really do have feelings for her. When I spend time with her, I don't expect anything sexual, I am captivated by her presence and I don't think I have experienced that feeling before. I have never met a woman so smart, beautiful and intelligent without being abrasive! But I will say that she is immature for her age, she is the same age as my aunt and they are nothing alike. I am not experienced in long term relationships.. where that is all she has had. a 2 years, 4 years and the last relationship was also 4 years. Anyways, I appreciate any and all feed back. I want to hear what I may be getting myself into! Thank you greatly
 

erratic

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If the age gap isn't an issue for you, then it's not an issue. It's that simple, really.

However, the recency of her broken-off engagement is reason to pause and think. Perhaps she's okay with it and can move on. Perhaps it's too soon. Either way, I think it's wise of the two of you to take it slow and low-pressure.

Good luck!