Hi all, if this isn’t an ok thread to post I’ll delete no problem but I thought I’d at least ask for some advice from the people that might understand better than men.
So my Gf and I have been together right at a year and a half, and she’s been so good for me. She’s pushed me in taking care of myself not just physically (she helped me get over the social anxiety of going to a gym) but also mentally and has challenged me in trying to grow as a person. She cares so deeply for me and others around her and I honestly think she’s one of the kindest people I know.
I’ve tried very hard to meet her emotionally, knowing that for her feeling secure in a relationship is very important.
Our relationship has become very tough lately, for a myriad of reasons. And I would love to talk with her about some of it, but other aspects are just hard because I know it would hurt her and it’s the last thing I want to do.
Sexually we’re just not very compatible. Her libido as of late (as in not long after we got together) has been so hit or miss but she won’t go to a doctor to see if maybe there’s something more going on than the monthly cycle hormonally. I’m very spontaneous and explorative, and very eager to please. I’d never performed oral on someone but when it became a possibility I dove into research and techniques, what not to do, what questions to ask for her pleasure. I eat her out as much as I can
In contrast we were together for almost a year before she ever reciprocated head for me, and it was more just licking a little bit rather than “the act.” More often than not I will do multiple styles of things to her and then just get told to lay down and she just jerks me off. I also love when she’s more dirty or takes the lead sexually and have communicated this, but I feel like she doesn’t really try to be adventurous or “enjoy” me like I do her.
Another hurdle for us is her age. When we first started talking i genuinely wasn’t bothered by the 7 almost 8 year age gap (she’s older) matter of fact it was nice being with someone who’s lived life and knew/knows what she wants and won’t take. But now I really am struggling. She’s never really wanted kids but now has said “if I ever had them I’d want them with you.” But I have always been very upfront about wanting a family someday, but not before getting to live life with a wife.
I know that age enforced “standards” are not realistic, but I also know at her mid 30s there is a real possibility of not being able to have children by the time we’d be married and ready.
And at the end of the day, I love her so so much. I never want her to cry again because she deserves only brightness and good in her life. But I just….. I don’t know anymore. And this unsure feeling is wrecking us. I know if we did split we’d both be ok in the long run, but I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Any advice, recommendations, experience? Anything would help, I just want to do the right thing for both of our hearts and lives.
P.S. - If you took this long to read, thank you and I hope your day is a good one
So my Gf and I have been together right at a year and a half, and she’s been so good for me. She’s pushed me in taking care of myself not just physically (she helped me get over the social anxiety of going to a gym) but also mentally and has challenged me in trying to grow as a person. She cares so deeply for me and others around her and I honestly think she’s one of the kindest people I know.
I’ve tried very hard to meet her emotionally, knowing that for her feeling secure in a relationship is very important.
Our relationship has become very tough lately, for a myriad of reasons. And I would love to talk with her about some of it, but other aspects are just hard because I know it would hurt her and it’s the last thing I want to do.
Sexually we’re just not very compatible. Her libido as of late (as in not long after we got together) has been so hit or miss but she won’t go to a doctor to see if maybe there’s something more going on than the monthly cycle hormonally. I’m very spontaneous and explorative, and very eager to please. I’d never performed oral on someone but when it became a possibility I dove into research and techniques, what not to do, what questions to ask for her pleasure. I eat her out as much as I can
In contrast we were together for almost a year before she ever reciprocated head for me, and it was more just licking a little bit rather than “the act.” More often than not I will do multiple styles of things to her and then just get told to lay down and she just jerks me off. I also love when she’s more dirty or takes the lead sexually and have communicated this, but I feel like she doesn’t really try to be adventurous or “enjoy” me like I do her. Another hurdle for us is her age. When we first started talking i genuinely wasn’t bothered by the 7 almost 8 year age gap (she’s older) matter of fact it was nice being with someone who’s lived life and knew/knows what she wants and won’t take. But now I really am struggling. She’s never really wanted kids but now has said “if I ever had them I’d want them with you.” But I have always been very upfront about wanting a family someday, but not before getting to live life with a wife.
I know that age enforced “standards” are not realistic, but I also know at her mid 30s there is a real possibility of not being able to have children by the time we’d be married and ready.
And at the end of the day, I love her so so much. I never want her to cry again because she deserves only brightness and good in her life. But I just….. I don’t know anymore. And this unsure feeling is wrecking us. I know if we did split we’d both be ok in the long run, but I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Any advice, recommendations, experience? Anything would help, I just want to do the right thing for both of our hearts and lives.
P.S. - If you took this long to read, thank you and I hope your day is a good one
