I originally wrote this up as a long and detailed post, but I figured I'd cut it short for everyone's sake. I am in my first gay relationship (I am 42), and I am only out to two people. So, I have no one to turn to help process and get feedback, and this has been very difficult.
What do you think of this? I have been dating a guy for 17 moths (he is 17 years older than I am). Before he had me in his life, he was deeply depressed, painfully lonely, scared of growing old alone, and has told me he gets mentally fucked up from breaks up. We have had two big fights and both came from the issue of him wanting to play with other guys. I have said repeatedly from the beginning that I am not wired for open relationships. I actually tried it with him, and it didn't end well. Eleven weeks after our big, calmly discussed blow up about it, he brings up the idea of wanting to open up again. He likes jacking off with other guys, and he thinks I should I have sex with others. And, 17 months after we've been together and over two years since we first hooked up, he says, "After you've been with someone 7 or 8 months, you lose that connection. My brother and his wife don't even sleep in the same bed any more. But it's the heart connection that's most important, and we have that."
Thoughts? How would you feel?
What do you think of this? I have been dating a guy for 17 moths (he is 17 years older than I am). Before he had me in his life, he was deeply depressed, painfully lonely, scared of growing old alone, and has told me he gets mentally fucked up from breaks up. We have had two big fights and both came from the issue of him wanting to play with other guys. I have said repeatedly from the beginning that I am not wired for open relationships. I actually tried it with him, and it didn't end well. Eleven weeks after our big, calmly discussed blow up about it, he brings up the idea of wanting to open up again. He likes jacking off with other guys, and he thinks I should I have sex with others. And, 17 months after we've been together and over two years since we first hooked up, he says, "After you've been with someone 7 or 8 months, you lose that connection. My brother and his wife don't even sleep in the same bed any more. But it's the heart connection that's most important, and we have that."
Thoughts? How would you feel?