Relationship (Gay) Stuff

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dunno_what, Jan 4, 2012.

  1. dunno_what

    dunno_what Member

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    So, this is my story and if you wanna comment or not, that's cool.

    Anyway, I am in love with this guy. Like, we have been together 18 months, totally IN LOVE WITH this guy. Somehow, we have overcome the following:

    a) we are both are in our 20s but he is 5 years younger

    b) we were both taken advantage of at various ages, he when in the single digits, and me in the low teens

    c) we have a wildly different sex history, with him having less than 10 sexual partners of any kind, while mine.... well, a couple of hundred is closer

    d) after being with him for 4 months, i finally come out as bi to my folks, which results in nothing more than awkwardness for the rest of the family who I haven't told yet

    e) he hasn't told half his family, in fear of retribution (for lack of a better word) because a Greek CAN'T be gay, or because it would hurt his business...

    Have I gotten over that stuff? I dunno. I mean, I love him, but I am getting to the age where I wanna look at a future... Does a future matter? Is whatever we have enough? Am I just being a douche?!
     
  2. dude_007

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    You both are young, he is 21 (I assume) and thus coming out to family so he can be open with his boyfriend is going to be hard if from an unaccepting family. You may not realize this right now, but you have a long, long road ahead, so enjoy what is happening now, any pressure from you is going to put strain on any relationship. Focus on the joy, not the fear.
     
  3. hairyversmuscle

    hairyversmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Greeks can be openly gay... I know this because I am an openly gay Greek. I am actually bi but since I am in a gay relationship it is much easier to say gay and less confusing for straight folks in the older generation to understand. Bi is confusing to a lot of folks in general!

    I was not out at 21, nor did I even know I liked men back then so everyone develops and feels more comfortable with themselves at their own pace. Just relax and be patient and remember what it was like to be 21. If you love him, be supportive, be patient, be his boyfriend!
     
  4. dunno_what

    dunno_what Member

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    Cheers y'all.

    Last night was a low night for me, so venting here was the most appropriate option!

    I am in complete and utter love with my boy, and while there are issues, it ain't anything that requires a massive shake-up, so thank y'all again.

    In fact, in 18 months we have literally never raised our voices or argued yet. I kinda wonder if that has somethingto do with our occasional emotional inaccessability, but it isn't anything worth stuffing things up over.

    As much I would like him to be open, in order to share the good vibes that he is feeling, I understand and don't pressure. And while we are planning to move to another city together, I feel like it will all work out for the best.

    Again, thanks for the replys, everyone!
     
  5. zacr9

    zacr9 Member

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    Hey man......its not an easy situation.....I would say thought Greek guys can have it tough......family stuff......is huge..........unless his family accept him and you it will be uncomfortable at famly gathengs, weddings, amongst their friends etc....and thats how it is for many gay guys.....thats been the reality for a lot of gay guys I know anyway.....The whole family thing is important to any relationship and so is acceptance....religion plays a larg part in Greek families too....no children for gay guys etc....seen negatively......so I wish u well.....
     
  6. dolfette

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    i hope i don't offend when i ask this, but are you upset partly because it feels like he's ashamed of you and your love?
     
  7. Florida Boy

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    You say he has told 'half of his family'. The rest know by now. If you move out of town together, then they will suspect. Hang in there & be supportive.
     
  8. petite

    petite New Member

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    I think you have it backwards. The OP has come out to half his family, but his boyfriend has not.
     
  9. dolfette

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    if half the family know the other half are homophobic they may well keep the secret. not all familes tell each other everything.
     
  10. Florida Boy

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    Petite, Here's a quote:

    e) he hasn't told half his family, in fear of retribution (for lack of a better word) because a Greek CAN'T be gay, or because it would hurt his business...
     
  11. dunno_what

    dunno_what Member

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    Sorry I abandoned thread! As I said, this post was made in a quite a low swing.

    Anywho, my boyfriend and I are in quite a good place. I mean, I could whine about the fact that half his family don't know we're together, or that there are potential problems ahead regarding his noob-ness with sex and relationships...

    But the point is: we're happy in our own little way. I smile whenever he calls, we have a great sex life, and I absolutely adore him. I would love to be completely open with his family but I am understanding. He can't, at this stage, have his cake and eat it too!

    My main thing is that I want everyone in our lives to know just how happy we are together. And without that, it still feels like hiding, you know?
     
  12. D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele

    D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele Account Disabled

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    respect his wish... he believes his business is in danger, and thats how he makes his money...
     
  13. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

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    Can you be a little more specific about what you are concerned with? It is not evident to me. What questions do you have? What are you concerned about? I think if you could make that a little more clear I and others probably would be happy to share our 2 cents.
     
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