Relationship under strain due to penis.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by danwhite50, Feb 8, 2008.

  1. danwhite50

    danwhite50 New Member

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    hi i dont know if anyone could help point me in the right direction or had the same problem.

    iv been with my girlfriend for 3 months and its gone really well and got quite serious.

    the only problem is that my girlfriend feels pain during and sometimes after sex.

    its becoming a problem because we both want to have sex more but she cant because it hurts and this is putting tension on the relationship.

    i wouldnt say im massive its just big and shes quite petite but we have tried all different positions and always use plenty of lube and do plenty of foreplay.

    i suppose what im asking is will it get better and is there anything more we can do to help?
     
  2. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    How frequently are you having sex? Usually she will become adjusted to it but not always. Maybe she can make an appointment to see her gyno and they can help her further. There may be other reasons to why she can't take you.
     
  3. dolfette

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    google vaginismus...does she have the same trouble with, say, three fingers, or a small dildo?

    check that she's not allergic to the lube or condoms.

    buy a selecton of dildos so you can gently build up to her being able to take you...relaxation is the key.
     
  4. D_Theramenus_Twoglands

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    This might sound bad, but get her to have a few drinks before hand. If that helps then maybe she is having a problem relaxing. Probably every time you guys are about to have sex, she is anticipating the pain and therefore being tense.
     
  5. texasbuddy

    texasbuddy New Member

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    Rent the movie, :"KINSEY".

    He had the same problem you do: his was so enormous that they went to an ob-gyn specialist who taught them different positions and also did some very minor surgery on his wife.

    The difference was so profound that Dr Kinsey switched fields within biology to specialize in Sexual research and education.

    The film is excellent on a number of levels.....WATCH IT WITH YOUR PARTNER.
     
  6. arkfarmbear

    arkfarmbear New Member

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    Some couples get around the problem by having the guy only stick his dick in a few inches. You or your partner can then, basically, jerk you off by stroking what didn't get inside. With this method, it also allows the partner to grind onto the dick and move around until it feels right. Usually after a short period of time you will be able to insert more and more.
     
  7. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I don't think that movie would help at all actually. It's not step by step on how to help.
     
  8. Gogiboy1

    Gogiboy1 New Member

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    Hey there, I mean this suggestion with ALL SERIOUSNESS & SINCERITY...However, I am unsure of where/if you can buy it in your part of the U.K. Either way, if you can get it, it's worth a shot. I have heard of a LUBRICANT, that in a word NUMBS the area, and I have a friend that used it on someone while performing ANAL SEX,and he is quite large, but he said it worked on his partner and they weren't in pain. Hope it helps, and GOOD LUCK!
     
  9. thoreau

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    Try letting her control the sex and see if she can find a rhythm that feels good for her. Let her get into it as much as she can. Hope that helps.
     
  10. Love-it

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    Relaxation
    Lubrication
    Vibration
    Dilation

    It's a problem we have had for over 30 years and we only figured it out two years ago. If she anticipates pain during penetration, guess what? She will experience pain. She needs to relax and you need to be observant and patient.
     
  11. dolfette

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    bad, bad BAD idea!
    pain is the body's way of telling you that something is wrong.

    really, you need to eliminate the possiblity that she has vaginismus.
    if she has this then none of the advice is going to do any good.
    it's somthing that can be treated if she has an understanding doctor...might take a while though.

    once you've ruled that out then it's just a case of finding out what works for you.
     
  12. danwhite50

    danwhite50 New Member

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    hey guys thanks alot for the replies it seems to be alot better now... ALOT BETTER! haha. i think relaxation is deffinatly the main thing at the start a couple drinks helped alot but now i think she knows it doesnt hurt and so she relaxes further. hope this helps for anyone in the future i know it helped me.

    just for refference she was allergic to liquid silk i dont know if its just her but the durex play seemd to work alot better.

    once again thanks alot i will be getting kinsey asap haha

    regards

    Dan
     
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